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Category: Experiential Living

Juicing Experiences

Published on May 22, 2022

You either win or you lose.

—Eh, we can do better…

You either win or you learn.

—Better. But, not as good as it could be…

You either learn or you don’t learn.

—That feels pretty solid.

Because if you don’t learn when you win you’re doing it wrong.

And learning from failures is talked about so much it’s essentially cliché at this point.

It’s worth remembering that what’s required to maximally squeeze the sweet learning juice from every experience isn’t what’s natural. Reacting emotionally to wins and losses is what’s natural.

Wins lead to celebration parties and losses lead to pity parties—and both tend to distract us from our work (and its improvement).

If maximally learning from every experience is important to us then we need to consistently prioritize a dedicated chunk of time to “juicing” each one.

Time when we can carefully reflect on what went well, what we could’ve done better, and how we can promptly implement our learnings into our lives.

Because the reality is this: experience is not the best teacher—learned from experience is.

If you’re winning and losing and not learning—you’re losing.

If you’re learning and learning and not letting winning and losing discourage or distract you from continuing to try—you’re winning.

Investing In Your Story

Published on May 20, 2022

Experiences are investments.

Don’t put them in the same category as material purchases.

Material items (that aren’t investments) should be purchased scarcely and with heed—for they often weigh us down and limit our ability to invest.

Experiential investments should be made generously and often—for they become the very foundation of the story of our lives.

Upgrading Judgment

Published on March 28, 2022

Don’t be scared of bad judgment.

It’s where all of your good judgment comes from.

Be scared of not exercising your judgment at all.

It’s where bad judgment remains unchanged.

Living Your Dream Life

Published on December 21, 2021

Living your dream life won’t happen accidentally, just like becoming a black belt won’t happen accidentally.

It won’t happen just because you want it to.

It won’t happen even if you beg it to.

Living a life of your dreams—becoming a black belt—only happens on purpose.

And not just after being on purpose for one day, one month, or even one year.

Trying to balance the entire weight of your lifetime on such a small foundation of purposeful action isn’t realistic. Solid foundations take time.

And unless there’s a solid foundation, a quickly-realized-life-of-your-dreams will quickly collapse.

So, rather than trying to hack your way to a six-figure passive income—commit to the long-term game you’re playing and learn how to love playing the game.

Because what you’ll eventually realize is that loving the game is more closely related to living the life of your dreams than “winning” the game ever will be.

Aligning With Your Life’s Task

Published on May 29, 2021

A good litmus test to gauge whether you’re in alignment with your life’s task or not:

If you retired today, with enough money to last you for the rest of your life, would you keep doing the work you’re doing?

If yes, you’re in alignment. And if you’re able to sustain a suitable life for yourself doing that work, then keep on keeping on! That’s an exciting place to be where the focus can simply be on growing your skills and expanding your impact.

If no, you’re out of alignment. Here’s the thing: maybe you’re doing crappy work for great money? Maybe you have dependents to support? Maybe the money is the means to a better end? Maybe you live an expensive lifestyle?

Here’s my warning: while some of the above mentioned situations might be true for you and your life, what’s also true is that your work is how you’re going to spend a heaping chunk of your life’s time. And if you’re not careful, you might end up retiring with a lifetime trail of unenthused, unimportant, unfulfilled work.

Maybe it’d be better to do great work for crappier money? Maybe you could start a side-hustle to experiment with other, more fulfilling work? Maybe it’s time to set a concrete date when you’re going to make the leap to fulfilling work—rather than leave it at some obscure point in the future? Maybe you could live a more modest lifestyle?

Maybe life isn’t best saved for retirement—maybe the retired life is best lived now?

Playing Versus Playing It Safe

Published on May 22, 2021

What’s more important, watching your back or watching your step?

If your goal is to avoid pain, then watching your back would be the priority. You’d pay close attention to your vulnerabilities. You’d caution yourself around people and take your time looking for their conniving sides. You wouldn’t give people anything they could later use to hurt you with. You’d constantly be looking for ways to build bigger and stronger walls. You’d play it safe.

If your goal is to keep moving forward, then you’d prioritize watching your step. You’d pay close attention to your strengths. You’d check the rooms you’re in for opportunities, paths, directions—and you’d take your time looking for the fun in people. You’d give people anything that might help them keep moving forward because it, in all likelihood, would help you keep moving forward, too. You’d play.

Here’s the thing: are you less likely to get hurt playing it safe? Of course. Playing it safe—watching your back—is like sitting on the bench while at the playground. It’s the place where you’re least likely to get hurt. You’re positioned ideally to keep everybody in front of you, your chances of accidental bumpings/ bruises/ or bangs are minimized, and you can focus your attention solely on safety. But, is that really your life goal? To sit on the bench while staring at a playground?

Here’s what I think: when there’s a playground in front of you—you go and play. Playing is exploration. It’s interaction. It’s experimentation. It’s conflict resolution. It’s problem solving. It’s getting bumped/ bruised/ and banged—and getting back up. It’s having fun. And so it is with life, too. The point isn’t to not get hurt; the point is to play. Not to play it safe looking backwards, but to play joyfully with eyes eagerly forward.

You Can’t Steer A Stationary Ship

Published on February 23, 2021

“You can’t steer a stationary ship.”

Nicolas Cole, Twitter

I remember as a kid, sitting in the driver’s seat of my parent’s car and pretending to drive. My little hands would hang on the steering wheel as I would speed down the streets and drift through turns with Fast & Furious precision. Contrast that with what was actually happening and you would’ve laughed as you saw little me making exhaust noises with my mouth and yanking on the immovable steering wheel.

Put that car in motion, however, and the steering wheel loosens right up. You could drive with your pinky fingers if you wanted to—although I would strongly advise against that. It’s motion that gives us the power to direct. Idleness is what takes that power away. And even with all of our might, child or adult, we can’t steer a parked car. Which is exactly what so many of us are trying to do with the cars of our lives: we’re living our dreams in our heads.

We plan and plot and envision and goal set and try to come up with the perfect course that will take us precisely from where we are to where we want to be. And we’re also sitting in our cars, hanging from the steering wheel, making exhaust noises with our mouths, and whipping through turns with Fast and Furious precision. We’re trying to drive a parked car. And you wonder why people giggle sometimes when they hear you?

Course correction can only happen when you’re on a course. You can’t adjust the direction of a single dot plotted on a map. You need a second dot, a plot of where the dot has moved to, in order to understand and adjust the trajectory. And so it is with all of your goals and aspirations in life. You get there by driving your car—steering your ship—in the direction of your dreams and making adjustments as you go. As you experience the world and as you get feedback from your actions.

The journey never works out to be the straight line that we envision in our heads anyways. There are always unaccounted for (and many times spontaneous) twists and turns and bumps and driving hazards that come up. Thankfully, straight isn’t the only direction forward and there’s a steering wheel that comes with the car of your life that you can use to navigate those obstacles. So long as you keep your car in drive, that is.