Category: Experiential Living

I’ve never attended a single organized basketball practice.

All I’ve ever done is play pick-up games and practiced on my own based on what I could come up with from previous game experiences.

Contrast this with those who only attend organized basketball practices and sit the bench for games or rarely ever play games and I’d say the former leads to faster learning than the latter.

…Which isn’t to say organized practices aren’t important.

It’s merely to say that when given the choice between play and learn from experience or practice until you feel ready to play… the former wins in what you can learn given equal time.

…Which is the case for how it works in life too, isn’t it?

Spend too much time planning and you’ll miss the crucial experiences that’ll lead to expedited growth. Things like failing, losing, messing up, missing, fouling, and so on… things that’ll lead to potent emotional experiences that’ll intensify the training and follow-up gaming.

Practicing is safe. There’s much less on the line. Which means there’s proportionally much less emotional energy being invested into the work.

Again, this isn’t to say ignore organized practice. Because the ultimate is the happy balance of the both. But, err too far on the side of caution when it comes to experiential learning and you’ll miss out on so much that you could potentially stand to gain.

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Inner Work Prompt: What have you been spending a lot of time planning? Could you stand to learn more, faster by just doing instead?

I pulled the rhomboid muscles in my back.

Here’s why: I created a daily warm up routine that included foam rolling and light stretching for essentially just my lower body.

Which, historically speaking for me, hasn’t lead to any issues and has worked out great. Especially for leg day and my martial arts training (which is pretty much leg day every time).

However, I can now see what the heavy lower body focus lead to… a lack of upper body focus.

…I haven’t been properly warming up the upper body muscles I’m using to do heavy lifting which, of course, is what lead to this injury.

So, I’ve since updated my warm up routine to be more balanced and specific to the muscle groups being utilized that day (duh moment). And I’m creatively modifying my workouts until my rhomboid injury heals.

Generally speaking, most of us operate with a “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” kind of mentality.

Exercise related injuries, oftentimes, are an illustration that something is “broke.”

…But many of us don’t see this.

We do what we need to do to get healed and then go back to doing exactly what we were doing before—assuming it was a freak accident or some kind of “dumb luck.”

I’d argue that it’s almost always more than that…. that it’s your body’s attempt to communicate with you that something is wrong… that something isn’t being stretched, strengthened, or otherwise cared for enough.

Take a close look at what could have lead to the injury and modify your routine to include the proactive solution so it doesn’t happen the next time.

…This is experiential learning at its finest.

My car wouldn’t start this morning.

At first I thought it might’ve been because of low gas.

My next door neighbor gave me about an 1/8 of a tank’s worth.

That didn’t work.

So my next thought was battery.

My other neighbor had a portable jumper kit and jumper cables—neither worked.

So I called roadside assistance.

After several hours of waiting, I needed to call a stand-in to be there for when the roadside assistance arrived so I could go to work.

My mom stepped in.

I also needed a ride to work.

My dad stepped in.

I also needed a ride home from work.

My mom stepped in again and said if it did get towed, I could also borrow her car while the mechanic figured out what was wrong and got it fixed.

How freaking fortunate am I to have such an incredible support network just a call away?

While it sucks that my car broke down, I’m super thankful.

As I say all of the time, life happens. And when it does, not only do we have a chance to learn, but we have a chance to reach out and ask for help.

I learned I needed to be more prepared so I ordered a portable jumper kit of my own. And I’m reminded not to let my gas tank get as low as it did.

And while asking for help can sometimes feel awkward or like we’re placing a burden on others, it really just gives others a chance to give… a chance to do good… a chance to connect.

…Which is a wonderful gift when it’s met with true gratitude and a reciprocating heart. :)

A great strategy for living your best life, is to habitually dip into the lives of others.

There are as many different ways of living as there are people and no one person has lived them all.

But every person has probably found a few strategies that work well for them. Things that make them feel good about their life; things that make them feel joyful; things that make them feel proud.

And if we don’t allow ourselves to dip into other worlds, other perspectives, other experiences—we’ll forever be living inside of a fish tank… completely oblivious to the possibilities of the ocean.

Here; now; with what you know—is as good (or bad) as it gets… if there’s nothing to compare it to.

But, take a dip into the life of a stranger—who you happened to sit next to on a plane and ask them questions that give you a peek into their life… and you just might walk away with a golden life nugget.

Take a dip into the life of a historical figure via a fat biography—and get acquainted with the experiences that truly shaped and guided their path… and you just might end up with insight that’ll alter your trajectory.

Take a dip into the life of a family member who’s always around, but hasn’t shared much of their story—and get a glimpse into what *actually* ends up on people’s highlight reels—and you just might adjust what you’re saving onto yours… now.

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P.s. Some of the best insights I’ve ever uncovered from dips I’ve taken into other people’s lives are captured in my first guide. 18% off for a limited time ➜

There’s something primal about playing in the rain.

We spend so much of our time worrying about how we look, trying to keep dry, dodging the literal and metaphorical raindrops of our modern day world… that it almost feels rebellious and freeing to just say EFFIT! …And spend a few hours soaking in it all.

…And not only disregard how we look and disregard all cares about getting wet (physically and metaphorically)… but, allow ourselves to, as we all have at distinct times in our lives, feel the rain once again.

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P.s. I also published: 40 Bessel van der Kolk Quotes on Trauma and Healing from The Body Keeps The Score

One benefit of having an active imagination that you honor and hold space for is you get to see things before they happen. And the more vividly you see things before they happen, the more real the feelings about these happenings can be. And the more real the feelings are, the more you stand to learn from the experience… before it ever happens.

…Which allows you to apply these visualized learnings to your life minus all the painful trial and error.

Some examples where this is particularly useful:

• Vividly imagining a presentation so that you can experience the feelings and flow and make the necessary adjustments before the actual one.
• Vividly imagining how various life paths might unfold so you can better navigate your day-to-day decision making before “life happens.”
• Vividly imagining death so the reality of how fleeting and short life is can once again come to life in your being.

Do you have a space that you honor that’s for your imagination to roam and explore the possibilities of the future? If not… you might be experiencing more error from your trials than you need to.

Want to get some of your favorite life memories stolen?

…Give in to inertia.

Let the feeling of being stuck… keep you stuck… and withheld from experiencing the world in the way you originally planned… hoped to… dreamed you would…

Inertia is the ultimate memory thief.

It creeps up on you, slowly weighs you down, and sabotages plans.

Unless you stop it.

Or should I say… keep things moving to avoid coming to that crippling stop altogether.

Break inertia by taking that initial step as soon as you can… by sticking to your plan(s)… by giving yourself the kick in the ass you’d wish you’d gotten when you gave into inertia before and missed out on something grand that you wish you hadn’t.

And keep that momentum moving forward—however slowly—in the right direction…

…The direction of what could undoubtedly amount to be, your life’s favorite memories.

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P.s. I also published: Letting Your Bow Relax—A Short Story About Not Being So Serious All Of The Time