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Category: Doing What’s Hard

Meaning > Fun

The work of living your best life is to set higher standards and then not compromise them.

Higher standards than who? Compared to what?

Compared to the standards you might hold yourself to when living your worst or mediocre life.

When you commit to a higher standard, you’re committing to a harder path.

And why would you want to do that?

Not because taking hard paths is fun, but because taking hard paths is meaningful.

And meaning is, ultimately, what most of us are after.

You don’t hear people asking: “What’s the fun of life?”

People ask: “What’s the meaning of life?”

And while I don’t think there’s a universal explicit answer to this question, what I do know is that always doing what’s easy won’t lead you there.

Doing what’s hard (more likely) will.

So long as it’s hard work that’s meaningful to you. Work that’s aligned with your priorities, strengths, aptitudes, and interests. Work that’s reflective of your higher standards.

This isn’t to say you can’t update and revise your standards as you grow, change, and mature.

It’s merely to say if you give yourself an easier option, that’s the one you’ll ultimately take.

Don’t allow yourself to fall into that trap. Set your standards and hold yourself to them.

Compromise at your own risk.

With Every “Give,” Comes A “Take”

When the answers are given to you, the challenge of solving the questions is taken.

When money is given to you, the test of figuring out how to make it for yourself is taken.

When a privileged path to success is given to you, exploring/wandering/getting lost is taken.

Those who get it easy don’t get the depth that comes from overcoming the hard.

Most of us wish everything was just given to us. But, forget what gets taken as a result.

You Don’t Start Good—You Become Good

Let me assure you that approximately none of us start “good” at anything.

Take meditating for example. Expecting to be “good” at meditating when you first start is like expecting to be “good” at Martial Arts when you come to your first class.

The point isn’t to arrive “good”—the point is to start where you are and improve.

Besides the rare few who are “born enlightened,” I’m of the opinion that all of us have busy, irrational, crazed monkey minds which make meditating exceptionally hard.

…Which is precisely why we should be spending time practicing it.

What we need to do isn’t *not* meditate because its hard. What we need to do is better manage our expectations.

Meditating isn’t about closing our eyes and being able to experience a magical ceasing of all incoming thoughts. Not a chance.

It’s about stopping the flow of incoming information and allowing what’s there to settle.

When I meditate, I spend probably less than a minute out of twenty actually free from thinking. This is an excellent day of meditation for me.

In fact, any day I practice meditating is an excellent day of meditating—because I practiced it.

Get it?

The practice is the reward. Just like in Martial Arts. What are belts but an external motivation tactic to encourage training?

The end goal (black belt) is simply a motivation tactic that’s designed to get you to practice.

So, if you want to become a “black belt” in meditation (or anything), humble yourself and start practicing like a white belt.

Easy For You. Hard For Others.

When work aligns with your strengths, it flows and feels easy—even when it’s hard.

When work aligns with your weaknesses, it crawls and feels hard—even when it’s easy.

A good indication that you’re in alignment with your strengths is if you lose track of time while working.

If you find yourself constantly checking the time, either the work you’re doing is too mundane or you’re in alignment with your weaknesses.

Ask yourself: What’s easy for you that’s hard for others?

And then figure out ways you can do more of that.

The Path To Easier

Things usually get harder before they get easier.

If things aren’t going as easily as you’d like, maybe it’s because you’re avoiding what’s hard.

  • Relationship issues? Usually stem from an avoidance of hard conversations.
  • Career issues? Usually result from not doing enough of what’s hard, first.
  • Joy issues? Usually turn up when harder to handle emotions aren’t properly dealt with.

The solution, of course, is to stop avoiding what’s hard and confront it head on.

Only then will the path finally become easier.

A Hard To Grasp Truth About Fitness:

What some people can do to stay fit isn’t what you might have to do to stay fit.

Remember this when others are:

  • Eating what you won’t
  • Skipping workouts when you can’t
  • Drinking what you shouldn’t
  • Choosing lethargy when you couldn’t

It’s easy to want to respond with resentment, envy, jealousy, even hatred.

This does nothing, however, for your fitness or mental health.

And that which doesn’t serve you, shouldn’t be served up by you.

Harder would be to respond with curiosity, strength, willpower, even love.

Love for the challenge; love for the insight; love for the connection; love for the growth.

Those who get it easy don’t get the depth that comes from overcoming the hard.

Make What’s Hard, Easier

Writing a book is hard. Writing one sentence is easy.

Earning a black belt in martial arts is hard. Attending one class is easy.

Freeing yourself from the grips of anxiety is hard. Meditating for a few minutes is easy.

Everything in life that’s hard, is just a series of things that are easy.

You just have to break things down further and take the first, small step.

And then take it again. And again. Until you’ve done what’s hard.