Category: Direction Matters

We compare ourselves with others so we can figure out where we are and where we want to be.

We see somebody:

• Fit and decide we want to be strong like them.
• Popular and decide we want to act like them.
• Witty and decide we want to talk like them.

While this isn’t inherently bad (having role models is great), there’s more to comparison than is often discussed. Here are three reminders:

1) Context impossible. As much as you might think you know about a person (that might make them a “suitable” person to be compared to) there’s still an ocean of context that even they don’t fully understand—which makes their journey and yours forever un-duplicatable.

2) It creates a discontent gap. The further ahead the person you compare yourself to, the longer you’ll have to travel to get to where you decided you want to be—which ultimately results in discontent for the duration of that journey… as opposed to following a content curiosity that stems from deep within your own being.

3) It disregards the direction that comes from your inner compass. The more you try to look, act, and talk like others—the less you’ll end up looking, acting, and talking like yourself. To spend time with yourself—reflecting, journaling, learning, questioning, experimenting—is to invest life energy into yourself that eventually translates into “identity confidence.” This is how you further embrace the unique person that you are in a way that comparison only drains.

P.s. I created a 30 Day Guide that will help you tune into your inner compass and build unshakable confidence in your life’s direction. More here.

I don’t think not doing work is an option.

We can only go so long satisfying short-term pleasures before we regress physiologically to the point of misery and wonder somewhat incessantly what the point of it all is.

See what work does is offer us a path towards growth and contribution. Two fundamental components of feeling fulfillment in life.

Growth because it equals life. The opposite means we’re heading for decay and death.

Contribution because we are social creatures. And doing good for others is good for us.

Now, if the work you’re doing isn’t satisfying at least one of those components, then maybe it’s time to start investing in work that does.

Which isn’t to say you should quit your work altogether and “follow your passions” per se.

It’s simply to say start investing time and energy into 1) figuring out what type of work would fulfill you and cover the costs of living and 2) building skills that make you more valuable / hirable in that space.

If you keep doing unfulfilling work and you’re making no additional investments in yourself or your future work… and your goal is to just get to a point where you don’t have to work anymore—I think you’re on a path of misery. For now and for later.

But, if you’re constantly looking for ways you can better utilize your talents, build more skills, and help more people—beyond just what you’re getting paid to do (bonus points if it’s all aligned)… I think you’re on a path of fulfillment.

P.s. Why “follow your passion” is bad advice.

Most of us never think about our four year away self.

We mostly think about our today self.

And our today self is too busy to learn a new skill.

…Too tired to start a new book.

..Too lazy to build a new creation.

But, for those who find a way to get their today self to start the process of learning that new skill, reading that new book, and building that new creation… get to eventually step into a version of themself who makes them look back at older versions with a bit of cringe and embarrassment.

This is real.

And our future self is real.

And those who can learn to treat their future self like a real person are the ones who get to step into their more highly realized version(s).

Because busy, tired, and lazy soon enough lead to a regressed version of our future self. One who makes us envy where we once were. And the thought of our best days being behind us isn’t a motivating way to move forward at all…

P.s. Are you serious about realizing the potential of your future self? Both of my guides are on sale for a few more days. More here.

Things you’re never “done” with:

• Books
• Health
• Legacy
• Art/Creations
• Relationships

…So stop tricking yourself into thinking that after you’ve:

• Read the book…
• Finished that 30-day fitness challenge…
• Retired from your career…
• Shipped that one creation…
• Married the person you love…

…That you’re “done.”

No.

You’re *always* just beginning.

I’m at a Martial Arts Conference this weekend and one of the presenters said the following:

“When my daughter, 14 years old, starts dating—in 23 years (said only half-jokingly)—the person who takes her out better be able to articulate a moral code. Because if they can’t, that’s because there probably is no code.”

Regardless of whether or not you’re dating, married, single… if I asked you right now to articulate your moral code… could you?

As in, could you articulate to me, right now, what you stand for… what you value… what you believe… what guides you… what keeps your moral compass calibrated… what “forward” on your moral compass looks like…

Because if you can’t articulate it… what you have to ask yourself is—with full honestly—is there one there?

P.s. If you’re looking for help calibrating “forward” on your compass, this guide will help.