Category: Direction Matters

One of my friends brought two of his daughters to basketball this morning.

Both were about eight years old.

One of them had a basketball in her hands for essentially the entire three hours we were playing. She was dribbling, watching the game, and shooting on a kids hoop. She even started counting how many makes she got and finished with around two hundred…!

The other daughter, however, couldn’t have cared less about basketball. She was completely uninterested in the available basketballs, didn’t watch any of the game, and certainly didn’t try to see how many shots she could make.

There are certain things that we’re inexplicably attracted to and things we just… aren’t. It’s nature’s way. Sure, you could try to nurture that other daughter into liking basketball and it might even work…

But, one thing is for sure… the one who is inexplicably attracted to it and tries to make 200+ shots—just because… is probably going to be able to take it further (and have more fun along the way).

Think back to what you were inexplicably attracted to as a kid. Back when there were no incentives, no pressure, and no ends in mind to the means… back when you did things just because…

These are clues as to how you might best spend your time, energy, and efforts as an adult. It may not look identical… but, it almost certainly will rhyme.

As a manager of a martial arts school, it’s my job to work ON the business rather than IN the business.

I need to zoom out of the day-to-day operations and take time to notice patterns, brainstorm initiatives, innovate, improve systems and organization, invest in human resources, refine communication, create exciting futures, plant seeds, study industry trends, find synergistic opportunities, align with like minded people and businesses, help my staff do their jobs in the most brilliant way possible…

But if I’m fully absorbed in the day-to-day operations and I’m answering every phone call, hanging every flyer, calling every lead, booking every appointment, doing every school tour, meeting with every student, teaching every class, chatting with every parent, planning every class, photoshopping every promotion, editing every social media post, and so on…

…I’ll have no time left over to zoom out.

Which isn’t to say as a manager I can’t be doing any of the latter mentioned tasks—I still do many of them and do so joyfully—it’s just to say I can’t do all of them, all of the time.

…As it is for how you should be living your life.

Don’t become so absorbed in the day-to-day that you can’t take time to zoom out every now and again. Find time to work ON your life rather than always being stuck working IN your life. And as counterintuitive as it might sound… and as busy as you might feel… adding time to work ON your life, even when you’re in the heat of working IN it… is precisely how you become UNstuck and LESS busy.

Good luck.

I went through a phase when I was seriously considering opening a coffee shop with my sister.

The only problem was… I didn’t have any real time to commit to being there. And opening a business that I couldn’t commit to felt foolish.

So we put it on the back burner.

Today, I was chatting on the phone with a few friends and we got to talking about retirement.

We all agreed that none of us wanted to do nothing… and in fact, we were all leaning more towards working for as long as we possibly could over retiring as soon as we possibly could…

And it brought back up this idea of the coffee shop.

I mentioned this idea of having a hybrid coffee shop/book shop, that had a quaint feel and community connection emphasis, that hosted readings, author talks, book clubs, open mics, art shows, and general IRL gatherings… as a way to spend the retirement days…

And it planted a seed that I think a lot of us are thinking about…

The takeaway for me is not to try and force something into existence until it’s in alignment with your lifestyle and time. And not only that… but bringing things into existence that you want to actually spend a chunk of your lifestyle and time engaging and participating in.

The thing is… the world doesn’t need another coffee shop.

But, it could definitely use more authentic, real, brick-and-mortar, connection places that serve great coffee, fresh ideas, and interesting conversation starters that attracts like-minded, curious, and maybe lonely or introverted people who have a hard time finding places to connect.

…There’s always room for more of what’s real.

It’s common for people in today’s world to have a side hustle—something they’re building, creating, or doing after their 9-5 regular job because they love it or to earn some extra income.

And with the internet and social media… there’s essential zero barrier for entry. All you need is an idea and a willingness to follow and act on your curiosities.

One thing to keep in mind, especially if you’re side-hustling for extra income, is to make sure the person you’re serving—above all others—is yourself.

People who side hustle via trends, get rich quick schemes, or domains they’re not really interested in… are the ones who not only flop… but waste a bunch of their time in the process… time they could’ve spend doing things that actually served them.

What I’m talking about is the artist/painter who paints because they love it… because it relaxes their mind and soul… because it’s an expression of who they are and adds to the legacy of their life… who THEN decides to share their creations with others and turn it into a side hustle. As opposed to the person who never like art who saw somebody else killing it online and decided to copy them.

Or the writer, like me, who writes daily because it’s one of the best things I ever started doing for my mental health… who THEN decides to create guides, posters, and coaching. As opposed to the person who never really liked to write… who saw that you can make a bunch of money ghost writing and took a class or two about it online.

If you’d do it for free… it’s a good sign you’re in alignment.

…And it’s also a good sign you can start side-hustling with it.

The relationship you have today will not be the relationship you have tomorrow.

Not with your spouse, your girlfriend/boyfriend, your parents, your siblings, or yourself.

Relationships change as quickly as your social media feed.

And like your social media feed… what direction your feed goes depends entirely on how you interact with your feed today.

…Not in how you intend to interact with your feed or how you plan to, hope to, or want to interact with your feed… but in how you actually interact with it.

Invest in better content, connect with better people, better utilize block/mute/unfollow… grow. Do the opposite… regress.

Invest in better experiences with people, take more initiative in surrounding yourself with better influences, better enforce your boundaries and prioritize your mental health… grow. Do the opposite… regress.

Nothing ever stays the same. Remember this as you’re deciding how you want to actually act today.

Looking back, it’s easy to trace the trunk up the branches and through the endless splits to find how you got to where you are today.

Looking forward, it’s hard to know which split will take you precisely to where you want to end up tomorrow.

One thing is for sure though… knowing where you want to end up—as precisely as possible—is an excellent place to start.

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P.s. Here’s the picture that inspired this post.

You probably won’t ever realize how many opportunities there are in the world, until you define what type of opportunities you most want to realize.

To define is to put on your radar. And to recalibrate your radar is to get alerted to what you didn’t see before.

To define is to give shape to. And to shape the world is to more easily identify what shapes fit into your mold.

To define is to manifest. And not in any kind of passive way. In the way that alerts you to when the shape that fits your mold comes onto your radar so that you can channel the courage required to act in proportion to what each opportunity requires.

…Did you catch that?

You have to know exactly what you want (and not what the world wants for you)… so you can actually see all that’s there… so you can finally act with initiative and courage and with a deliberateness that was never there before.

Until then… you can keep on daydreaming and sleepwalking.