Remember as you PLOW into the first week of 2022: The beginning of all things is weak and tender.
Treat your tasks (and self) with care.
Too aggressive and you’ll kill your baby plants (habits). I learned this through experience.
Too passive and they’ll wilt and die from neglect.
You have to goldilocks the shit out of your tasks (and self) for the next few weeks.
Carry a tender awareness with a loving heart and you’ll do just fine.
…You little plant grower you.
Momentum is either your greatest ally or your greatest foe.
Learn how to use momentum in your favor and the tasks of your day will topple over seamlessly, one to the next, like a perfectly aligned series of dominoes.
One push and momentum will take care of the rest.
Ignore momentum and the tasks of your day will topple and stop erratically, requiring you to keep re-pushing the next series of dominoes again and again and again.
For me, getting out of bed in the morning is the initial push of my dominoes which hits:
The dominoes are beautifully ordered and adequately spaced. All I have to do is get out of bed at the right time and the rest feels automatic.
There’s no guessing. No setting up dominoes as I go. No reshuffling the dominoes after I’ve already tipped the first one… It’s all premeditated, sequential, and intentional.
And once I arrive to work, of course, the next chain of dominoes gets pushed—and so forth, as the day goes on.
Where most people run into momentum issues, is when they don’t take the time to properly set up their dominoes (tasks) ahead of time and/or don’t have them properly spaced out (time management).
If you look at your day in this way, I suspect you’ll find where the missing “dominoes” and irregular spacings lie. Adjust accordingly.
Having momentum as a foe, to be frank, is a stupid waste of time, energy, and effort.
Starting from stopped is always harder than keeping the momentum going.
Momentum, meet reader. Reader, meet momentum.
Now, be friends.
“The MOST IMPORTANT feature of a sustainable habit: You don’t hate doing it.”
Mark Palmer, Twitter
This doesn’t mean you have to love doing each of your daily habit tasks, just that you don’t hate doing them—there’s a difference.
Moving even one tick back from “miserable” to “don’t like it,” can remarkably lengthen your habit’s lifespan and prevent you from burning out altogether.
Like when you move one tick back from “red zone” to “yellow zone” while running. That minor pace adjustment can give your legs a major boost in life. And you’ll last far longer than you ever would’ve if you stayed in “red.”
While “red” is what moves you fast, “yellow” is what takes you far.
This is how I approach all sustainable habits. Fast isn’t what I’m after—far is what I want. The question I often ask myself is, “How can I make this more like an enjoyable run and less like an all out sprint?”
And I move things a tick back wherever I find myself in “red.” Similarly, I move things a tick forward wherever I find myself in a “green.” Because being in “green,” of course, doesn’t take you anywhere far or fast. It keeps you comfortable where you are.
And even though I don’t like being uncomfortable, I make sure that what I’m doing never makes me miserable. Because not only is “miserable” bad for the run—it’s bad for all future runs! And if you want to go far, going in misery is no way to go.
“You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”
James Clear
Before the start of every competition, it’s safe to assume that every competitor has the same goal—to win. And yet, not all do. Only one person wins. So, what’s the difference maker? Is it the size of a person’s desire? I think someone can want to win remarkably more than other competitors and still lose. Size of desire, in and of itself, isn’t the major factor in winning and losing. So, what is?
It’s what we do with our desire that counts. If I change my goal from wanting to read one book per month to wanting to read five, but change nothing with my habits—nothing changes! Yes, it’s important to have the goal identified so you have a direction and focus (and bigger goals might put you on different paths), but once you have that, all of your energy should be directed towards system building.
What do systems look like? Your system for reading might be to read at least 1 page before bed every night. Your system for exercising might be to do at least 5 minutes of bodyweight exercise every morning. Your system for healthy eating might be to eat at least 1 apple every day for lunch. This, of course, is where size matters—the bigger your systems, the bigger your results. Systems are the vehicles that are going to take you to your goals—your goals are simply the destination.
This is such an important reminder. We don’t rise to the level of our goals; we fall to the level of our systems. Don’t share with me your goals; share with me your systems. Goals don’t impress me—we all want to change the world and do big things. Share with me what you’re doing every day that’s going to get you there. That’s where the magic happens. That’s where thoughts become reality. That’s where winners spend their time.
“When you have to, you find an excuse. When you want to, you find a way.”
Mustafa Khundmiri, Twitter
One mistake people make when trying to adopt new habits is they try to force themselves into new behaviors rather than ease themselves into them. While we certainly have to force ourselves to do things sometimes—forcing isn’t a good long-term strategy.
Eventually, forcing leads to resentment and resentment leads quickly to excuses. Sick? Excuse. Tired? Excuse. Busy? Excuse. Stubbed toe? Excuse. The wind blew differently? Excuse. To the person uninterested in doing the work—who resents the work—anything can (and usually will) be made into an excuse.
To the person interested in doing the work, however, anything can happen and an alternative is always sought and usually found. Sick? Alternative. Tired? Indomitable spirit. Busy? Not for top priorities. Stubbed toe? Got nine other fully functional ones. Wind blew wrong? Stop being ridiculous.
When you ease yourself into new habits, for the right reasons, you drastically change your relationship with the accompanying behaviors. Rather than the behaviors being something you resent and have to force yourself to do, they can become something you actually enjoy and look forward to doing.
Think about one healthy habit that you already have incorporated into your life that you most look forward to. We all have at least one. Then, think about why. From there, think about how you can incorporate another healthy habit that mimics those reasons. And ease yourself into a more enjoyable lifestyle in a more enjoyable way.
“Exceptions lead to more exceptions. It’s really easy to justify not doing [a] new habit (or doing an old habit you’re trying to quit) by saying, ‘Just one time won’t hurt.’ Except that it will, because now you think it’s OK to make exceptions. And now you don’t really trust yourself to stick to your promise to yourself. It’s much more effective to not make exceptions—catch yourself if you’re thinking about it and trying to justify it, and remember your motivations. When I quit smoking, I told myself Not One Puff Ever (NOPE).”
Leo Babauta, Zen Habits
The habit changes that I’ve had the most success with have been the ones that I’ve been the most strict with myself about. When I started drinking coffee black, I told myself No Cream Or Sugar Ever. When I cut donuts from my diet, I told myself Not One Bite Ever. When I stopped drinking alcohol, I told myself Not One Sip Ever.
Like Babauta, I made sure there were no exceptions or ‘gray-areas’ to these habit changes—and while that might sound harsh and intense, it actually made the habit change process easier for me.
The problem with setting up more vague goals like, “I’m going to try to stop drinking my coffee with cream and sugar,” or “I’m going to try to eat less donuts,” or “I’m really not going to go out and drink as much anymore,” is that it leaves room for mental negotiation. Which, as I’m sure you’re all too familiar with, leads to long, hard, draining mental fights.
And the problem with long, hard, draining mental fights with your forever argumentative, unrelenting mind is that—you’ll eventually lose.But, just one donut won’t hurt, right? Well, how do you decide which days to follow this goal and which days not to? How will you know for sure when it’s okay to stray from your intentions? Why is it okay to mess up on some days but not others?
When you set out strong from the beginning and make your goals “black-and-white,” whatever they might be for you, there’s no question.No confusion. No special situations or exceptions. The answer is always and every time, “NOPE.” Easy. End of discussion. Onto the next thought.