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Category: Building Habits

A Case Against BIG Goals

Published on December 19, 2023

If you’re the type of person who likes to set BIG goals, but usually only commits small effort or only lasts for short periods of time… might I suggest doing the opposite this year…

There’s nothing inherently wrong with BIG goals… but, there is a problem with not following through on what you say you’re going to do. The problem slowly becomes one of self-belief and self-trust.

Saying you’re going to do something that you don’t end up doing has the same impact on your inner relationship as it does with a spousal or friendly relationship. Tell your wife you’re going to give her the world and yet haven’t even delivered a bouquet of flowers… and you’re going to develop trust issues. Tell your friend you’d do anything for them, but can’t make time to hang out with them once in a month? …And, again, you’re going to develop trust issues.

Back to my original suggestion…

What if, this year, you set a small goal, but delivered on it in a HUGE way?

What if you read one page of a book every day for the entire year?

…Or did five push-ups every day for the entire year?

…Or spent ten minutes every day completely present and undistracted with your family?

The benefit would be two-fold. First, you’ll get the inherent benefit of the task compounded over an extended period of time. But, second, and this is the real key… you’ll start building/ repairing self-belief and self-trust.

…So that when you say you’re going to do something, you (they) actually believe it.

Talk Goals Crumble

Published on December 18, 2023

Anyone can say, “My goal is to read 100 books in 2024” or “My resolution is to exercise every day” or “This year, I’m going to make six figures online.”

And in many cases… this is as far as people will go with goal setting… saying it.

Which is why… when the excitement of the new year wanes… and a few curveballs are thrown… and there’s sleepiness… Talk Goals crumble.

…Because the only thing holding them up is a weak frame of verbal commitment that’s based on an external energy source (the new year).

All goals should be Systems Goals that can be kept in place regardless of motivation levels, curve balls, and/or sleepiness.

In fact, good systems take each of the above factors into account ahead of time, EXPECT them to happen, and have an action plan ready to be deployed when they do.

Let’s take reading 100 books as an example. If we assume the average book length is 300 pages, then you’d have to read ~82 pages per day to reach 100 books by the end of the year (100 books x 300 pages each = 30,000 total pages / 365 days = ~82 pages per day).

So the system would be read 100 pages every day at [x] time in [x] place and to read at least ONE page on the curveball days, of which, you’ve accounted one day per week for (by reading more on the other days).

Obviously, personalize accordingly (my guide was built to help you do exactly this).

Bottom line: before you commit to a goal, rigorously inspect and question the system(s) you’d have to commit to in order to achieve that goal. THEN commit.

The Beauty Of The Streak

Published on November 15, 2023

The beautiful thing about doing something for long enough is that eventually your subconscious starts doing most of the work for you.

Today is my 1,415th day of consecutive daily posts.*

(*Minus the days I was at Burning Man, off the grid).

And the beauty of this streak is that the task has seeped its way into my subconscious.

Which means, rather than needing to remember that I have to send a post out, actively blocking out time in my calendar, doing time-intensive brainstorms for topics, and stressing out about the final product like it was being graded by a college professor… my subconscious takes care of most of that for me.

I don’t need to remember to write—it’s an automatic reflex in my day.

I don’t need to actively block out time in my day—it’s already accounted for before I do any conscious blocking.

I don’t need to do any time-intensive brainstorms for topics to write about—my brain bubbles up ideas all day long… because it knows the writing is coming.

And as far as the stressing out about the final product? Well, after you do anything for 1,415 days in a row… hitting the submit/publish/ship button becomes a helluva lot easier and increasingly less intimidating.

This is all to say: don’t make things harder than they need to be. Do less now… so that you can do more over a longer period of time.

Eventually, the daily habit will start to take care of itself and require a fraction of what it used to when you were yo-yo-ing.

P.s. I also published: How Do I Know If Meditation Is Working?

The Secret To Going Further

Published on October 1, 2023

The secret to going further isn’t to go faster/harder… it’s to go slower/easier.

I learned this when I ran my first ever ultramarathon. “A pinch above walking” was the mantra that kept me moving all the way through and past that seemingly unreachable finish line (that took nearly seven hours to cross).

I learned this when I added a constraint to my daily writing practice at the end of my first 365-ish days. I was writing around 1000-2000 words daily (and hastily)—including weekends—in an effort to try and prove to my audience (and myself) that I could be a decent writer. Until finally, I realized that I was resenting the process, writing in misery, and trying to prove something that didn’t need proving. And making 280 words my daily constraint (about 1 minute worth of reading) not only dissolved the resentment and misery, but added joy and *length* to my process (on upwards of 1250+ days now with little to no feelings of fatigue).

I learned this when I learned that being in a hurry is an excellent sign that you’re not enjoying the process… and not enjoying the process is one of the biggest mistakes we can make when life—our only life—is exactly that: a process. And sometimes we can get so caught up (brainwashed?) into believing that the ends are what’ll bring us enjoyment that we forget about the means. When in reality, the means are everything and the only place enjoyment will ever truly be found.

P.s. I created a NEW guide that details how you can best apply this principle to your life. I hope you’ll check it out ➜

Make Daily What’s Always A Good Idea

Published on September 25, 2023

I take my dog for a walk every night—regardless of how I’m feeling.

…Even if I’m sick or sore or the weather is crappy.

I walked her when I had COVID, on the days I ran marathons (and the mornings after), and when we’ve had torrential rain.

In fact, over the course of the last five years I’ve had her, we’ve only ever missed when I was traveling or as a result of rare extenuating circumstances (like the Buffalo Blizzard of ’22).

So long as it’s safe—going for a walk outside is almost always a good idea.

…The fresh air; the natural elements; the time apart from screens; the low-impact movement, the neighborly interactions; the time to think and let the mind settle; and so on.

Things like this—the things that are essentially always good ideas—should be kept as top priorities in our lives.

As obvious as this sounds you have to ask yourself how often you do the things you know are good for you… and how often you let yourself talk your own self out of doing those very things.

Daily is the key. Don’t go for occasional or “when you feel like it.”

Make daily what’s always a good idea.

Pro-tip: if following through is hard for you, you could always try getting a dog… once they’re in routine, they’ll keep you accountable better than any app, quote, or coach. Of this, I’m sure.

Sub 100%

Published on August 16, 2023

Another day I rise… another day I didn’t want to exercise.

My body was sore, my eyes were heavy, and my energy levels were low.

And yet, today was another day when I exercised anyway.

How?

I gave myself permission to workout at sub 100%.

I showed up sore, heavy, and low. Gave myself an extended warm-up and mobility session. Took a mile and a half jog at my ~50% pace. Then, spent 30ish minutes deep stretching.

And now I feel great.

Being sore, heavy, and low aren’t excuses to skip top priority tasks—they’re reasons to adjust your pace so you can keep your top priority tasks at the top.

Remember: consistency over intensity every day of the week.

A Step Back From Complicated

Published on August 3, 2023

When I first started writing daily, I felt a strong inclination to share pictures with each post.

I knew that images grab attention and might hook along more readers.

I also knew that images can add a level of communication for the visually inclined learners that words alone might not provide.

But, what I also knew was finding the right image added steps to my daily process… it took time to thoroughly search, download, reformat, resize, upload, caption, add metadata, etc.

…Sometimes, this process even took me longer than writing the words themselves!

Which is why, in spite of the obvious benefits of having images associated with my writing, I decided against using them.

It’s important to remember that when you set out to do something, you don’t have to do it in the absolute best way you know how. Sometimes (oftentimes), it’s best to just keep it simple and cut out anything and everything that doesn’t have to do with the core of the work itself.

A single step back from complicated is worth a dozen steps forward (or more) in simplicity.