Category: Building Habits

Got new year resolutions?

We all know most of them don’t last.

Here’s a test…

Instead of calling it a new year resolution, try calling whatever it is you’re trying to do (or not do) a new life commitment.

…Feel the difference?

For example: If exercising every day is your new year resolution… but, exercising every day as a new life commitment sounds too intimidating or hard… what are you really doing then?

Because the point of a resolution is to make a firm (and lasting) decision to do or not do something. And if you’re not prepared to carry your decision forward for life… then how long are you prepared to carry it forward for?

…Answer this question and you’ll see why most new year resolutions fail. Because most people are only prepared to carry their resolution forward for a short period of time.

Want to change this about yourself?

Easy. Try making your resolution easier and run it through the same test again.

Repeat until whatever it is you’re resolving to do (or not do) feels firm enough to last you a really long time. And then watch how your life slowly, but surely improves.

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P.s. My habit building guide (30 meditations; 30 challenges; 30 illustrations) is on sale now ➜

Once you understand how to improve flexibility, you understand what it takes to grow in most any area of life.

First of all, there’s no faking it. Your starting flexibility is your starting flexibility. You can lie to yourself all you want about being able to do a full split… spreading your legs apart as far as you can will tell its own irrefutable story. This is where all growth must start… with an honest inventory of where you’re actually at.

Second, there’s no cheating it. Yes, there are certain strategies and protocols that are more effective at improving overall flexibility than others… but they all involve two fundamental and unavoidable ingredients: tension and time. And generally speaking, a person’s gains are directly proportional to the amount of time they’re able to spend in tension. And what’s crucial to understand is that we’re not talking about amount of time in one session—we’re talking about overall time spent over the course of weeks, months, and years. It’s the same with growth in any other dimension. Overall time spent in tension is the irrefutable, inexchangeable ingredient that determines growth rate.

Third, there’s no finishing it. Your flexibility today is exactly that—your flexibility just for today. Tomorrow, it won’t be the same. It’ll either improve or regress—just like every other growth area. Flexibility is as flexibility does. Every day. No way around it. So focus less on finishing and focus more on pacing. A little bit every day beats a lotta bit only sometimes—in more life areas than you might think.

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P.s. Need help spending more time in tension? My “Anti-Hustle, Habit Building” Guide is on SALE now…!

Your meditations, mantras, principles, ideals, self-improvement practices, etc. are only as good as what they’re able to get you to actually do.

In other words:

• Your meditation is only as good as the amount of time it helps you to stay present.
• Your mantras are only as good as the mindsets they’re able to keep you in.
• Your principles are only as good as the actions they remind you to take and abstain from.
• Your ideals are only as good as the life destinations they’re able to actually keep in the forefront of your mind.
• Your self-improvement practices are only as good as the growth they’re able to yield over an extended period of time.

Said differently yet again, whatever works—in their ability to help you deal with life challenges—is what you should keep working.

…Not what the most popular influencer says you should do; not what the world’s best athlete recommends; not what your bff swears by… what works.

Which isn’t to say you shouldn’t try what you’re inspired to try.

It’s merely to say, trust what has a history of getting done—not just once or for a short sprint of time… but time and again over a longer period of time… a period of time that matches the amount of time you’ll be met with challenges from life…

Don’t measure your motivation levels before you do the thing… your mind will be consumed and distorted with lies.

Think about all the things you say to yourself before you have to workout, or meditate, or read that book, or start that project, or do deep stretching… It’s probably something along the lines of:

• “You’ve been so good lately… you deserve a day off.”
• “You’re so busy today… better to skip and get back to it tomorrow.”
• “You didn’t really sleep that well… today should be a rest day instead of that other day.”

It’s almost as though that little devil on your shoulder gets the megaphone and tries to spread misinformation and lies to distract or dissuade you from doing the tasks that’ll put you temporarily outside of your comfort zone.

…Contrast this with what’s going on in your head after you complete the task. It’s probably something along the lines of:

• “That was so good. I deserved that.”
• “So glad I didn’t skip. That was amazing.”
• “I feel so much better now that I’ve got that behind me.”

…There’s a whole lot less mental chatter and whole lot more clarity.

THIS is when you should measure your motivation levels towards the thing. If you’re still resentful, upset, and/or frustrated about the self-improvement tasks after you’ve finished it, then, yes, I’d say it’s time to reflect and make some changes.

But, don’t make a decision about something that’s long-term good for you without completion clarity.

And because I’ve been planning for days like this, I knew exactly what to do.

Today that was MoveMe Weekly, short walk, foam rolling, and this email.

I cancelled everything else and have been heavy sleeping, drinking as many fluids as I can manage, and vegetating on the couch.

Healing is my top priority. And if I can keep the streak alive in some of my other priority areas… by doing my premeditated minimum viable action(s)… I won’t have to “heal” any broken streaked habits, too.

One of my goals this year is to write one long(er) form article each week that I can either publish to MoveMe Quotes (to help with SEO) or submit to brand/magazine publications (to help spread my words to new audiences).

The first four weeks, I did just that.

The past two weeks, however, I failed.

I got caught up writing an article that I just couldn’t finish. And I let it stall me out.

This is how it goes for so many who are working hard to integrate resolutions into their lifestyle. Strong start followed by legit obstacle followed by stall out.

…But what stall outs really are are moments of truth.

…And it’s how we choose to respond to these moments that makes all the long-term difference.

Either we let the stall stall us all the way out… or we figure out a way to keep moving forward despite the stall out(s).

And so this week, I decided to pivot. Rather than try and submit longer form articles to other brand/magazine publications—I’m going to double down on publishing new articles each week to MoveMe Quotes.

Publishing to MMQ is inside my control and much more efficient whereas getting published elsewhere is not and was taking too much of my time. And while SEO might not be as “sexy” as getting published elsewhere—it’s the process of producing that’s most important.

Onward.

Your Turn: How are your resolutions going? If not so good, how can you pivot to get back on track… this is your moment of truth… how can you move forward with (and build) resilience?