Category: Being Present

Subtracting Anxiety

Published on January 22, 2024

Lately, I have been reminding myself that being in a hurry is an excellent sign that I’m out of the present moment.

And I’ve been trying to slow down.

…While I read.

…While I drive.

…While I exercise.

…While I do chores.

…While I engage in conversation.

And there’s a palpable difference in how I feel when I do these things from a “I’m not in a hurry” mindset vs a “the quicker I go, the more I can get done” mindset—even if I’m operating with the same amount of time within each.

Which might have you wondering… how can I have a “I’m not in a hurry” mindset if I’m genuinely in a hurry?

What I tell myself is two fold: (1) Is there anything that’s in my control that I can change? If yes, then I do that… If not, then I accept the situation as is and move forward unhurriedly at the pace I’ve positioned myself to move at. Arguing against reality only makes everything worse. And (2) what can I do to prevent this from happening next time? Because “In a hurry” is not a good place to be.

See, mindset effects everything.

And rushing, as it turns out, is a primary source of anxiety—at least for me.

Subtract the rushing… and you’d be surprised how much anxiety you can subtract from your day, too.

P.s. I finished uploading quotes from If You Meet Buddha On The Road, Kill Him! to MoveMe Quotes. Read through my favorite 46 here ➜

Opportunistic Moments

Published on December 10, 2023

Today, I was responsible for leading a group of 75 Martial Artists through one of the biggest days of their lives—their Black Belt and higher degree test.

And one thing I’ve learned about approaching big days—both as a leader and performer—is to not think of them as such. But rather to think about them in terms of opportunistic moments instead.

The weight of “big days” can not only stifle you, but steal you away from the very moments you’d most want to remember that are, by definition, housed inside big days. It’ll have you thinking about what’s next, what’s later, what can’t be forgotten, what just happened, what went wrong, and what could’ve been better. Leaving you, mentally, everywhere except where you are.

Bring yourself back by asking yourself questions like: what do I have the opportunity to do right now?

…Is this a moment where I get to show grit, intensity, and spirit? Or is this a moment where I get to rest, recharge, and rehearse?

…Is this a moment where I get to perform in the spotlight? Or is this a moment where I get to cheer for the ones who are?

…Is this a moment to conserve energy and go half-way? Or is this a moment where I get to go all in and really test your limits?

Get better at living inside moments—both on “big days” and normal ones—and suddenly, your days won’t feel so heavy and intimidating. And you might just find yourself feeling lighter, more present, and ultimately… more alive.

A Better Fill

Published on November 17, 2023

One of the reasons people fear death is they won’t be able to see what happens next.

…They won’t get to see their families grow up.

…They won’t get to see the impact of their work.

…They won’t get to see how technology develops and what the future will behold.

And yet… so many of us just turn on the TV and try and forget about it all, all of the time, anyway.

One of the beautiful things about being here right now… is we get to actively see what’s happening next.

…We get to witness the things our ancestors so deeply wished they’d be able to see.

…We get to see our families grow up.

…We get to see the impact of our work.

…We get to see the impact of technology on our ever developing world.

Maybe if we invested more time into really seeing... into noticing from a place of presence… into soaking it all in minus the distractions…

…Maybe we’d get a better fill of what we’ve been miraculously granted the ability to see… and have less fear about not seeing every single bit of it when it comes time for us to finally close our eyes.

P.s. Want to live a life with less regret? My guide will help.

Slow Chores

Published on September 24, 2023

When doing chores, what I notice in myself is that the more intense my desire is to be done and get on with something else, the less enjoyable the chore is.

The antidote then, that I’ve been experimenting with in my own life, is to reverse this innate response to be done with it asap—and to take my time doing the chore instead.

This isn’t the type of advice you might be used to hearing.

In our modern world, the conversation is focused around hustling, automating, outsourcing, delegating, optimizing—and we hear stories about eliminating busywork, taking full control of your calendar, living life on your own terms, and so on.

…Which typically becomes the predominant thought process precisely when we’re kneeling down on our already sore knees, touching other family members’ undies, folding and organizing a seemingly endless mountain of clothes, all while trying to uncover the floor before the next series of obligations begin.

…It’s no wonder chores are such a misery for so many of us.

But, when you take away the rush, when you eliminate the asap, when you detach yourself from all those preconceived notions and focus on just doing the task as it is—suddenly, the intensity softens, the discontentment fades, and the irritation clears.

The secret to contentment in the “here” has less to do with removing irritating tasks and more to do with stopping the ceaseless desire to be somewhere else.

Give it a try.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

Mind-Wandering ≠ Meditating

Published on September 22, 2023

Yesterday, I had a client tell me they do their meditation while they shower.

Other times, I’ve had people tell me they meditate while they walk or drive the car.

I’ve even had people tell me that household chores are meditative for them (they’re also probably on the brink of enlightenment).

…And the truth is: everything is and can be meditation.

Because meditation is the act of returning to the present.

The problem is, the second we start acting—be it showering, walking, driving, doing chores, working, etc—it usually isn’t long thereafter that we forget we’re trying to meditate and start mind-wandering instead.

And to be clear, mind-wandering and meditating are not the same thing. There is certainly nothing wrong with mind-wandering and the act itself can feel quite good—especially considering how overstimulated our minds are on average in our modern world. A break from the screens where you can just let your imagination do it’s own thing can feel quite liberating.

But, the value received from meditation is something different.

It’s less about unconsciously watching the movie your imagination plays on the walls of your mind and more about consciously choosing time and again to walk out of the imagination movie theater and back into reality—where you can once again notice the here and now.

Your mind will keep trying to bring you back in to watch the movie of your ceaseless thoughts.

But, every moment you remember to leave—regardless of the tasks you’re doing when you remember—is a moment you get to embrace fully.

…And is a moment worth celebrating, indeed.

“Life-ing” vs Living

Published on September 20, 2023

Busy happens when you’re here and you can’t stop thinking about being there.

It’s the byproduct of planning too much into your day, too closely in a row.

…Or, maybe worth considering, it’s the byproduct of simply not being able to be here.

What I’ve noticed is that the people in my life who regularly define themselves as “busy,” tend to be that way on every single one of their days—regardless of the number of tasks they have to complete. And those who never make mention of being “busy,” tend to follow the same pattern.

Now, this might very well be because “busy” people have an increased overall average number of tasks to complete.

…Or it might be because “busy” people have an increased overall tendency to pack their days with tasks so they can intentionally invoke the feeling of busy so as to distract themselves from the here.

My challenge for you, dear busy person, is to challenge “busy” and bring to question how you’re filling your days. Are you really as busy as you’re making yourself out to be? Are there tasks you can delegate, delete, or automate to add more downtime and in-between time? Can you make more of a deliberate effort to be where you are throughout the day and focus less on the next place you need to be?

What a shame, after all, to be so busy getting to the next task that you never have time to be present for the current one.

…What a shame, after all, to be so busy “life-ing” that you never have time left for living.

Mind Party

Published on September 13, 2023

One of the most interesting classes I took while at Burning Man was a meditation and beats class.

A young, shaggy haired fellow, wearing loose, oversized clothing sat at the front of the group—maybe 30 of us, all lined up in a Tetris format with some sitting in lotus, some upright in chairs, and some laying down diagonally with hands folded across their chest—and guided us through a meditation with a banana mic.

Yes, a mic that was dressed as a banana.

…When at Burning Man, eh?

For the first 30 minutes, he got us to relax into our bodies, had us do body scans, guided us through breathing exercises, helped us quiet our minds, and spoke about recognizing moments of mindfulness as celebrations.

…It was that last point that I found most interesting.

A moment of mindfulness, he explained, were those particular moments when you noticed your mind has wandered and you came back to the present moment.

This is the moment when many of us, myself included, would normally get most frustrated. Because it’s the moment when you realized you failed to stay present.

But, reframing those moments as celebrations and not frustrations made perfect sense.

Why frustrate over a moment successfully reclaimed? …It should absolutely be seen as a victory! In fact, it’s the very thing that we’d want to reinforce if we want to facilitate more of the same.

…And just as I was making this connection and beginning to practice—our shaggy haired leader suddenly started playing psychedelic music and for the next 30 minutes, it was like a party in my mind.