Category: Being Present

One of the most impressive things I saw this week—maybe even this month—was two of my martial arts students sitting quietly and patiently in the school’s lobby, while their younger sister took class, without a single screen, device, game, toy, meal, snack, conversation, etc., to distract them, entertain them, or consume their attention.

How rare a sight it is to see not even just kids, but adults, sitting plainly, without anything to distract or entertain them while time passes by…

…It’s no wonder it’s so common for people of all ages to have attention disorders, poor self-esteem, crippling anxiety, non-clinical depression, stunted imaginations, and/or complicated/toxic relationships.

In my experience, it all boils down to the fact that so many people have such a hard time just sitting with themselves. Even for just 10 – 20 minutes out of a day.

…For it’s the sitting with ourselves that we’re able to heal our attention addictions, focus inwardly and less outwardly, calm our minds from the overstimulation, remove the hyper-comparisonism, free our imaginations, and/or stay fully present with the people in our presence.

Try it.

Just sit with yourself for 10-20 minutes a day. Stimulation-free. Watch what happens to your mind. Let the uncomfortable cravings to re-stimulate come and go. Drift slowly away from the modern day addictions. Allow yourself to turn inward and deepen the relationship you have with yourself. Enough with the unnecessary overstimulation from the world.

P.s. This post only emerged after I sat and stared at my computer screen for 43 unstimulated minutes. Good things come to those who are patient with themselves.

Today felt like a hectic, busy day.

Like whenever I finished one thing, five other things immediately came to mind that I had to do. And the more time I spent thinking about those five other things, the more stressed I felt.

One thing that helped, however, was deliberately reconnecting to the present moment.

There were a few instances throughout my day, for example, when I caught myself stressing myself out and I interrupted the pattern by deliberately focusing on a present moment task.

In one instance, I caught myself thinking about all of the things I had to catch up with at work during my morning workout and I reframed my focus towards getting the best pump I could with each strengthening rep instead.

In another instance, I caught myself thinking about all of the home chores I had to catch up on during my afternoon break and I reframed my focus towards the beautiful day we were having and stepped outside, took a seat on my porch, and meditated quietly for five minutes instead.

And in another instance, I caught myself thinking about all of my upcoming travel plans that needed to be confirmed as I was unwinding from work and I reframed my focus towards each step of my evening dog walk… and then each dish as the soap and hot water ran through my fingers… and then each word as I sat at my desk and typed this short message for you.

And it was in thinking about these moments today that I realized… the antidote to busy (that doesn’t want to change)… is presence.

I can vividly remember times when I would—after sensing a good sunset coming on—hop in my car and drive to the best local viewpoints to try and see it from the most perfect spots.

Once in a while, I nailed it.

Oftentimes, I ended up doing way more chasing than I ever did seeing.

And it wasn’t uncommon for me to miss the sunset altogether as I hastily hunted for better and better spots.

Now, when I sense a good sunset coming on, I try to find the nearest viewpoint, catch a seat, and maximize the viewing time.

Because ultimately, I think what sunsets demand—the reason we’re drawn to them so much—is our presence. They pull us away from our screens (sometimes), out from our drama, and allow us to fixate our complete attention on something awe inspiring.

…And by foolishly chasing after “perfect” spots to be present… we miss so much of the presence—the gift the sunset was supposed to provide in the first place—that was available to us the entire time.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

For the past several years, my grandma, mom, and I would drive 6ish hours to my aunt’s house for Easter weekend.

It was a nice little family tradition that gave us long car rides to chat the deeper than usual chat and catch up with my aunt and her family who we only ever saw that weekend-ish.

We would watch movies, get live piano and violin concerts in her living room, play board games, tour the local book shops, airplay photo albums on their giant TV recapping the highlight moments of our year, take long walks, explore local parks, and of course eat fantastic meals.

Earlier this year, my aunt and her family decided to move across the country and so our little family tradition unfortunately ended.

This is a reminder that at some point, your family tradition(s) as you know it/them—will end. And to go into family tradition weekends with as much presence and warmth as you can.

This isn’t to say that they can’t/won’t change for the better… it’s merely to say don’t take them for granted. Change is always, inevitably, on the horizon.