…Is it true that, as the expression goes, family [should be prioritized] over everything?
No—if you’re talking about prioritizing family over yourself. Yes—if you’re talking about what priority comes first after you. You wouldn’t be doing anybody a service by ignoring your own needs, trying to service others from a state of misery, and—as the proverbial expression goes—fill family members’ cups from your empty one. There’s a bit of a caveat when considering high-need dependents. And even then, the priority of the dependents and the needs of the self should be intricately intertwined and considered with equal priority… looked at as almost one unit instead of two.
No—if your definition of family is limited to blood relatives. Yes—if your definition of family is inclusive of those who have proven to be the most important to you in your life. Proven is the key word. Being a blood relative who can’t be trusted… who has a history of manipulation or abuse… who takes advantage or always seems to have an agenda… shouldn’t be prioritized over someone who has proven themselves—over an extended period of time—to be the exact opposite of that. Family should be defined beyond blood.
Two fundamental keys to feeling fulfilled in life are growth and contribution. Point #1 above speaks to growth. Point #2 speaks to who you should contribute to first and foremostly. Do these two things really well and the rest—everything else—I’d say will fall into place.
Inner Work Prompt: I was asked, “Who is a person you met only once that had an impact on your life?” I answered: The Almonds Guy. What about you?