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Put A Small Rock In Your Shoe

Published on July 3, 2025

“When things are going well, put a small rock in your shoe.”

This is what the mother of Adis—the guy who guided the 9-hour tour I was on yesterday—tells him when everything in his life is going well.

His parents lived through war. They’ve experienced unfathomable evils. And to top it off, they’ve had to build everything in their life from scratch—their house, their farm, their sense of any kind of stability—not once, but multiple times.

…Can you imagine? Literally building your life brick-by-brick, plant-by-plant, sweat droplet-by-sweat droplet, only to have it completely destroyed… and then doing it all over again?!

What I think his mom is reminding him is don’t rely solely on luck in life.

…Because what Adis’ parents went through and what he’s going through is merely a difference in uncontrollable worldly luck.

But when you keep a small rock in your shoe, you remember not to take luck for granted.

…And you learn how to roll up your sleeves and do hard work; you learn how to accept painful situations and confront reality with what’s in your control versus burying your head in the sand (read: screens); you learn how to be damn grateful for the luck when it is there—because if there’s nothing else history has taught us it’s that luck is never promised.

…And having that small rock in your shoe will have you more ready for the un-luck than comfy-cozy shoe living ever will.

Keeping Death Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind

Published on July 3, 2025

In all Bosnian cities, they place cemeteries in the city centers—in the prime real estate locations—so as to remember those who have come before… and to serve as a reminder of where we’re all heading.

Contrast this with most other cities in the world… and what will you find at the city centers?

And maybe more importantly to consider… where are the places for those who have passed in those cities? What about the places where those who are about to pass go? Where do we (you) ever stumble across death in our lives (besides the news where we’re desensitized to all things violence and death)?

…Keeping death out of sight, out of mind doesn’t help with life.

In fact, I’m of the opinion that it makes us forget where we’re all undeniably heading. And when you forget where you’re heading, you forget to make the most of the trip along the way.

Add Sitting To Your Travel Itinerary—Yes, Sitting…

Published on July 2, 2025

I went on a 9-hour sightseeing/history tour in Bosnia today.

This was in stark contrast to how the first few days were spent.

It was a lot of driving around, a lot of walking, and a LOT of talking—which is in no way a complaint. It was an absolutely incredible tour.

What I found to be so interesting, however, that I found myself reflecting on as I compared the days I’ve spent here is that you can learn just as much from a place by mindfully sitting as you can from actively sightseeing.

In fact, being in a hurry can make you miss more than relaxing in one spot might allow you to gain.

…The body language, the mannerisms, the expressions, the topics, the pace, etc.

This might not always be true, and I wouldn’t necessarily only recommend mindfully sitting when visiting an area… it’s merely an observation that compliments the one from yesterday: wherever you are—be there.

…And don’t be so busy trying to fill your day-to-day itinerary—be it on vacation or in your day-to-day life—that you don’t ever give yourself a chance to just sit and allow presence to catch up with living.

…There’s more to learn from sitting than I think you can ever plan for.

Pockets Of Heaven

Published on July 1, 2025

I’m in Bosnia on vacation.

It’s a beautiful country with gorgeous scenery, friendly people, and a culturally relaxed vibe—especially in comparison to my New York, USA, hometown.

In fact, one of the first distinct differences I noticed was how easy it was to just sit down and not do anything… for hours.

It has happened several times already (and it has only been two days) where I’ve just sat on a porch, sat at a café, sat by the water… and did nothing for hours on end.

When you can find little pockets of complete presence and contentment like that, it can feel like pockets of heaven.

But one of the reasons I think I’ve been able to appreciate it as much as I have is because of the full time commitment I’ve devoted to my work.

I’m sure it’s possible to have a lifestyle complete with presence and contentment, maybe that’s even what enlightenment is… but I don’t think it’s plausible to expect to have pockets of one without the other and pockets of the other without the one.

In other words: wherever you are, be there.

Don’t wish for a work-free life, but don’t live a work-only life either. Appreciate work in full and appreciate (and work hard to create) heaven-like moments in full.

Pockets of work are what make pockets of heaven—heavenly.

…Without it, they just become an expected norm.

Money Or Happiness?

Published on June 28, 2025

What do you think is more important in life: money or happiness?

Of course, the two don’t need to be mutually exclusive, but think about this:

Most of us block 40ish hours of our week, every week, to money.

…How many hours do we (you) block for happiness?

On Changing Everything All At Once

Published on June 27, 2025

One of my martial arts students tested for her first belt tonight.

At the end, I asked her what she wanted to improve in her life as an accompanying challenge with the new rank.

She said, “I need to improve my Work/Life Balance, I’d like to work on my strength, …” and before she could list anything else I stopped her.

“Just one thing.” I told her.

And so we talked about work/life balance.

We made a specific plan that had a singular focus to it.

And she’s going to work the plan for the next three months up until her next belt test.

Then—and only then—after she tests for her next belt, will we discuss the next “just one thing.” And only if, of course, this current challenge has been successfully completed.

Regardless of whether or not you’re a martial artist, you should try following a similar protocol.

As much as we want to improve everything at once, just one thing at a time is how anything is ever really changed.

On Making Tangible Progress

Published on June 25, 2025

A very talented young teenager spoke to me about her struggles with continued martial arts training last night.

She felt like she wasn’t seeing tangible results from taking classes and didn’t feel very motivated to continue because of it.

She’s fit. She’s very flexible. And she’s well coordinated.

…Class-to-class, she wasn’t seeing any noticeable differences in these area—and with no tangible changes, why work so damn hard?

What I spent a solid 20 minutes talking to her about were intangible changes that come with work ethic and dedicated commitment. The obscure—only noticeable to the trained inner eye—changes that happen within.

We talked about further developing the ability to perform under pressure (and how that relates to the high pressure careers she’s aiming for)… her confidence in being able to defend against bigger, stronger, faster assailants… about having a creative outlet for self-expression (something she admitted she didn’t have outside of martial arts)… about having a safe space for mental health breaks/resets… And finally, we talked about legacy and if she was 70 years old looking back on this stage of her life, if she would regret not pushing herself further to see what she was truly capable of… she said she would.

When we don’t try very hard it’s easy to get lost in appearances.

…To judge progress solely on tangibles. To judge a book by its cover. To determine worth based on social media metrics.

But, if we try a little harder… if we look a little closer… we’ll see there’s a whole (inner) world of data to be processed and developed.

…Which might turn out to be the most tangible indicators of progress of all.

Category: Archives