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The full collection of explorations.

The Opportunity In The Fray

Published on December 3, 2024

One of my students set up a self-defense class at a local women’s shelter for those who were victims of violence/abuse.

Being a women who had been in a women’s shelter before, it was something this student felt strongly about.

Being a man, it was something I couldn’t take the lead on because men aren’t allowed in the shelters.

And after reaching out to my female instructors, we came to find out that none of them were available to run it on the day and time requested.

And so rather than cancel, an opportunity presented itself.

…An opportunity for student to step into the role of instructor. An opportunity for student to lean into a topic they felt passionately about and start taking initiative in how that energy can be manifested. An opportunity to alchemize a traumatic experience into an incredibly powerful healing and educational experience that could be shared with others.

Sometimes things don’t line up the way you want them to or play out how you imagined them playing out… and oftentimes, it’s simply because there’s another opportunity in the mix that simply wouldn’t have come up without things unfolding exactly how they did.

Be You, With Us

Published on December 2, 2024

Last night, while watching the Buffalo Bills Football game, quarterback Josh Allen commented on how the team has been able to come together and play as well as they have—despite having lost as many experienced leaders as they had.

He said, “Coach McDermott talks about ‘Be you, with us,’ and that’s what I’m trying to do.”

He elaborated by saying he likes to joke around and be funny—that he enjoys doing things that’ll get the coaches and players to lighten up and laugh. But he also said, “…there’s times where there doesn’t need to be joking around. Time to get serious. Over the years, I’ve found when that is the most critical.”

What’s working well, it would seem, is an aligned energy with players and coaches where, between jokes and seriousness, one compliments the other and the other compliments the one. The jokes aren’t hindering the team energy or targeting/ostracizing anybody on it and the seriousness isn’t making the process miserable or becoming an unbearable weight on any one player’s shoulders.

Ultimately, those four words seem to capture the ideal recipe for engaging as an individual when you’re a part of a team. Be you—yes. To ask you to be anybody else would not only be cruel, but counterproductive. It wouldn’t be long before the person not allowed to be themself would start resenting the people around them. But also, and just as important, do so: with us. To be cruel, ostracize people, be overly critical, spread hate, or otherwise demean people around you—even jokingly—dismantles a team. Which, in effect, dismantles you—because you’re a part of it.

Dear Hard Things In My Life—Thank You

Published on December 1, 2024

Today, I read a quote from Ryan Holiday that illustrates the power of gratitude and how it can completely transform situations:

  • “That troublesome client—thank you, it’s helping me develop better boundaries.
  • That traffic jam—thank you, it gave me time to call my wife and have a nice, meandering conversation.
  • That rejection email—thank you, it forced me to reevaluate and improve my work.
  • The political realities of our time–thank you, it’s a chance to test myself, to really stick to what I believe in.
  • That loss—thank you, for reminding me of what truly matters in life.”

I liked it so much, I thought I’d reflect on and add a perspective shifter to five situations I’m finding hard in my own life:

  • Thrown out back—thank you, it’s forcing me to spend more time strategizing how I care for and strengthen such a crucial part of my body.
  • Wasted time spend on social media—thank you, for reminding me of the importance of being totally logged out of apps.
  • A steady decrease in subscriber count—thank you, for forcing me to think more creatively about sharing my work.
  • Lonely nights—thank you, for giving me ample time to read, write, create, recharge, and explore my inner depths.
  • Family health scares—thank you, for reminding me of the preciousness of life and to not take any moments together for granted.

…Your turn. Reflect on five situations you’ve been having a hard time with. Is there a perspective that could transform each of them for you?

P.s. ICYMI you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week here.

Matching Incoming With Outgoing

Published on December 1, 2024

I bought a few things on sale this weekend.

And for each item I bought, I resolved to give away a comparable item I already owned.

I bought a jacket, so I’m donating a jacket.

I bought a suit coat, so I’m donating a suit coat.

I bought a few sherpa zip-ups, so I’m donating a few sweaters.

In with the new is easy—especially if you’re in the privileged position of having disposable income.

Out with the old, however, is often forgotten.

And essentially everything you’re not using, could be a tremendous gift for another who lives under less fortunate circumstances.

If you’ve got a whole bunch of new incoming—consider adding a whole bunch of your old to the outgoing.

P.s. I just started building a MoveMe Quotes Shop featuring products and services that have a “forward” or functional purpose. Got any cool recommendations?

Do You Need Anything From Target?

Published on November 29, 2024

When I was hanging out with my sister the other day, I asked her if there was anything she needed from Target.

Without missing a beat she replied, “Matthew… I could always go to Target—Target tells me what I need.”

And after a good laugh, we went. And I was the one who ended up getting more than I needed and my sister was the one who ended up getting distracted by an intimate phone call and left without a single purchase.

This felt like a timely story to share because behind every joke there is some truth.

And during the Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, Cyber Monday, Holiday Sale Sale SALE Season—remember: every place you go and wherever it is you choose to spend your time… you’re going to get told what you need.

Over and over and over again and in the most convincing of fashions.

And so you have a couple of thoughts to consider:

  • Do you really want to go looking for things you don’t need? Or might you be better off brainstorming from afar?
  • Are there alternate gifts you could consider giving that maybe aren’t purchased from major retail stores?
  • If you do end up getting dragged somewhere you know you’re probably going to spend more than you should—is there an intimate phone call you could take instead (I’m only half joking about this idea) or something distractionary you could do when you’re most vulnerable?

Lessons From An 8k

Published on November 29, 2024

Today, I helped a student run her first 8k.

She had only ever run a mile before it.

Some of the things I told her throughout the run:

  • “Slow down.” The instinct right from the start was to go at a 40 meter dash pace (aka: sprint). The adrenaline, the excitement, the anxiety always makes you want to go faster than the long distance pace should warrant. To go further; slow down.
  • “Yes, you can.” Whenever you push into new territory of “hard,” your mind is going to tell you that you “can’t.” Mainly because it has never been there before and it isn’t used to the tired that this new “hard” is facilitating. But, we’re capable of much, much more than we think. And if we can change what we think we can do—we’ll very likely do exactly that. The mind will always give up before the body.
  • “Do what works.“ I recommended a slow, steady pace throughout the run. But, it wasn’t working for her. She decided that short runs followed by short walks—interval style—was better. She’d do a little run. Walk until she couldn’t see me anymore, then run again to catch up. And it’s exactly that strategy that got her past the finish line.

The most important thing I said to her, though, was to be nothing but proud of how she performed. Because while it took longer than she wanted it to take, nothing is more important than the fact that she showed up and tried her best.

Thankful For Legs And Grit

Published on November 27, 2024

For my workout yesterday, I did heavy weight lifting with a leg focus.

Today, I did a kick-a-thon at my martial arts school where I did 1,600 kicks in one class.

Tomorrow, I plan on doing the YMCA’s annual 8k Turkey Trot fundraiser run.

The day after that, I plan on playing pickup games of football, maybe even basketball, with friends and co-workers. And right after that, I plan on participating in a door-to-door food drive where flyers are dropped off at a few hundred houses asking them to leave non-perishable food on their porch that can then be picked back up at a later time and donated to our local food bank.

…That’s four pretty intense leg days in a row.

Why?

During a normal workout week, I would never do this. I would spread out the love and give my muscles a full 48ish hours to recover from one workout while I exercised other muscle groups.

But, every now and again… it’s good to push yourself.

…To do things that aren’t exactly rational to see what you are capable of doing.

Not necessarily to train the body (as I mentioned above, this probably isn’t super great for my body), but to train the mind.

Because “hard” in life is only in relation to the hardest things you remember going through and doing before.

And what you might find on the other side of something really hard… is days and weeks and maybe even months of increased “ease.”

Because if you can do THAT… what’s this one measly workout / challenge in comparison?

P.s. Happy Thanksgiving. Here’s a list of quotes and exercises to inspire gratitude and kindness :)