Category: Archives

A friend called me tonight and was telling me how he felt weird being thanked for big changes he made in people’s lives… from what felt like small moments of coaching he had with them.

He said it really didn’t feel like much at all for him to stay after a martial arts class and work with people for a few moments here and there…

…And for them to come to him later on—weeks, months, or even years later—and tell him how much of an impact it made on them felt—disproportional.

But, what I told him is that it isn’t the length of the moment that makes the impact on students…

…It’s the depth of energy and attention that’s brought into those moments.

Because there’s a distinct difference between a long, half-hearted effort and a short, full life-force one.

…All it takes is a one degree difference in a plane’s trajectory to have it land in an entirely different country given enough time.

…And the same is true in this example.

We’re not changing people’s lives in the coaching moments themselves—but we ARE changing their direction (or at least that’s the goal). And then they’re changing their lives by following that slightly altered path given enough time. And THIS is the way any real change in other people’s lives is done.

When the student is ready—the teacher arrives…

And when the teacher is ready (to fully commit)—THAT is how and why a student thrives.

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P.s. I wrote a 30-day guide that’ll help you build unshakable confidence in your life’s direction. Deets here.

I invited a young martial arts student of mine onto my school’s Leadership Team tonight.

…And yet she is one of the most soft-spoken students in the entire school.

She doesn’t project her voice or speak with conviction… she doesn’t try to claim the spotlight or do things that give off “main character” energy… and she definitely doesn’t cause a ruckus or make sweeping impacts on the vibe of an entire class…

And some of you might be confused by this… because isn’t that what leaders do?

But, I learned long ago that leadership is influence, nothing more and nothing less.

And what I’ve noticed is that she’s always on top of her curriculum… and people tend to go to her for help… and she’s one of the first people I go to when I need help helping another student… she comes in early and stays late… she’s selfless and takes above and beyond initiatives to help her family, our school, and even other charities… and she always influences the class with a warm, focused, committed energy that may not sweep up every student… but definitely impacts a few each time.

My intention sharing this with you today is to remind you that leadership doesn’t always have to look like what you might see at the top of our local, regional, and national social hierarchies. Leadership is influence. And if there are people around you who are influencing others to act in a way that you (or your organization) would love to have them act… maybe you should consider acknowledging that person, too.