Archives Archives · Page 31 of 187

Away From Obligation

Published on May 30, 2024

One thing I’m quickly noticing in myself as I continue doing my nightly walks without Stella is an increased pace.

I’m walking much faster by myself than I did when she was with me.

I don’t know if it’s a subconscious attempt to complete the task—as though it’s obligatory—but I have to consciously remind myself to slow down… as she would do for me when she would stop to pee or smell pee or stalk a bunny or whatever.

I don’t want these walks to feel obligatory.

I don’t want anything I do to feel obligatory.

And the best antidote I’m finding to that obligatory instinct, counterintuitively, is to slow down the very thing I’m trying to expedite.

Not being in a rush to finish is an excellent sign that you’re enjoying the process—the moment (life)—for what it is.

That We Made It This Far…

Published on May 29, 2024

That we won the one-in-a-trillion lottery and were born.
That we had the basics of survival covered until we were able to provide on our own.
That we had the chance to learn and grow.
That we were able to create art and consume art and share art.
That we were able to love and laugh and lose…

…Is the ultimate blessing.

And to live as though it isn’t (by taking it for granted or simply forgetting) is to set your story up for an abrupt and regretful conclusion.

Absolutely Devastating

Published on May 28, 2024

Today a student of mine came to the school with watery eyes and a quivering lip.

He stood in my office for a few moments gathering himself before he told me that a 6 year old girl died after being hit by a car as she was crossing the street. He said that she crossed from behind a parked car and couldn’t have been seen until it was too late… And that he saw the aftermath of it all as it was just down the street from his home.

I simply can’t fathom what must be going on in the minds of the family, friends, and driver.

…Is this our fault? Should we have taught her to cross the street more safely?!

…If only I had been driving slower and more cautiously.

…Why did this have to happen?!?!?

It’s absolutely devastating all around.

And the reason for passing this devastation forward is to offer you the opportunity that the people mentioned above would do anything to have… the opportunity to have that careful conversation with your kids/loved ones… to drive more slowly and cautiously (and to never forget the potential cost of rushing)… to hug your little ones/ big ones a little extra tight while they’re still here…

Life is so damn fragile, y’all.

Subconscious Sighs Of Relief

Published on May 27, 2024

Landscaping this weekend made me appreciate, once again, the impact physical environment can have on our mental headspace.

There are things I would see daily that, in retrospect, would cause me daily irritation. Things like overgrown weeds, sunken landscaping bricks, and grass creeping onto concrete. It wasn’t an irritation I would really notice consciously though—this was the retrospective realization—it was something that kind of irritated me in the background of my mind as I continued with other thoughts.

…And I think the same thing happens in reverse when these things are cleaned up and have a nice aesthetic. It’s almost as though I can feel a background sigh of relief that calms me as I soak it all in while I continue with other thoughts. I’m sure this is why meditation centers, spiritual facilities, and religious organizations place such a high emphasis on the physical environment aesthetics…

It’s a subconscious means of communication that lets you breathe a sigh of relief as you process your conscious thoughts.

…And until we visit those types of places, maybe we can take our own physical environments a little more seriously, eh?

Formula For Conversation Confidence

Published on May 27, 2024

Oftentimes I’ll wonder to myself, “What would we even talk about?” as I think about the prospect of getting coffee or lunch with one person or another.

It can feel daunting… the idea of filling an hour or two with conversation.

And yet, it never ceases to amaze me at how seamless it goes when you have the right mix of curiosity + vulnerability/transparency + time apart.

Take that formula with you everywhere you go and I suspect you’ll find that an hour or two often isn’t enough.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

On Feeling Empty Inside

Published on May 25, 2024

I finished uploading quotes from The Prophet today (you can read my 18 favorites here).

My overall favorite is one that echoes an idea I got tattooed on my arm—which is of a majestic exposed roots tree that reminds me that the branches of happiness can only go as high as the roots of sadness go deep. The line from The Prophet goes:

“The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.”
Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet (Page 27)

…Which, I found to be another powerful, analogous way to look at and move through sorrow. Because it really does feel like a carving away at your being… which I think is where the descriptions of feeling “empty” or “hollow” or “dead” inside might come from.

But, with that emptiness… with that space… comes a future opportunity.

And it may not happen that day nor may it happen a week or a month after. But, eventually, that space that was carved from sorrow can become precisely the vessel needed to contain more of the opposite… more joy… more wonder… more love… and quite possibly even more than you had room to carry (or could fully appreciate) before.

Won—Not Done

Published on May 24, 2024

It’ll never be all done all at once—there will always be something that needs to be worked on.

I’m reflecting on this as I take this weekend to catch up on all of my indoor and outdoor chores. There are so many things that need to be completed that by the time I’m done with the last item, the first item would need to be done again—and so the circle goes.

This is why it’s healthy to adopt a mindset of, “Won—not done.”

“Done” is a forever fleeting finish line that’ll only frustrate and upset you whenever you try to attain it.

But, “won” is always do-able.

Start by asking yourself: What are the most important tasks to complete that’ll give me a “win” for the day? And then repeat tomorrow.

Collecting “Ws” works a lot better for productivity and mental health than feeling like all you ever do is fall short.

Category: Archives