Eliminate all distractions and just sit.
No screens. No audio. No people.
Just sit and soak in the world.
You’d be amazed at how different 30 minutes feels.
I help busy people do inner work.
The full collection of explorations.
Eliminate all distractions and just sit.
No screens. No audio. No people.
Just sit and soak in the world.
You’d be amazed at how different 30 minutes feels.
Confidence is success remembered.
If you define success as getting a standing ovation after a TED Talk, then you’re going to have confidence issues.
If you define success as doing something that’s a little more than what you did before, then growing confidence will hardly be an issue.
With that in mind, here’s your formula: own your definition of success + make collecting “successes” a regular priority = watch your confidence grow.
Fact: people will try to use you for selfish gains.
It’s up to YOU to use boundaries to stop them.
Remember: what you tolerate is what will continue.
Don’t tolerate selfish behavior. Draw lines. Say, “No.” Make rules.
Give yourself permission to protect your mental space at the expense of other people’s comfort. Their comfort isn’t your top priority—your mental space is (should be).
Your mental space is your most precious home.
And just as you’re selective with who you invite into the walls of your physical home, so too should you be selective with who you invite into the walls of your mental home.
It’s your job to invite the right guests in, to show the wrong guests out, and to know when it’s time to have no guests at all.
It’s never your job to be anybody’s doormat.
You are the door. They have to knock/call. They have to ask permission/get invited. They have to be respectful and courteous. And they have to add value to the relationship within the time that’s shared.
Otherwise, thanks for coming over, but I have to get back to protecting my mental space now.
…Maybe said a little less bluntly?
You get the idea.
This is how you turn your mental house into your mental home.
The heart speaks in whispers.
The world YELLS IN ALL CAPS!!
If we don’t find ways to separate ourselves from the YELLS—we’ll never hear the whispers.
“Deciding to stop eating sweets and to start eating vegetables are separate psychological functions. The first takes self-control. The second takes self-discipline. You can easily succeed at one and fail at the other. They aren’t the same process!”
Dr. Julia-Marie O’Brien
Self-discipline says “Go,” even when you don’t want to—to do what you know you have to.
Self-control says “No,” even when you might want to say “Yes”—to stop you from doing something you know you shouldn’t.
In the same way self-discipline is built by breaking down seemingly large tasks into manageable chunks (to make “going” easier)—self-control is built by preemptively mitigating temptations before they turn into uncontrollably large ones (to make saying “No” easier).
If improving self-discipline follows a big to small format:
Then improving self-control might follow a small to big format:
While these two words might seem interchangeable, this key difference in these psychological processes should be understood if we hope to improve upon them.
Nobody should care more about your life than you.
Because nobody can ever fully understand your life—and all that it entails—more than you.
So what happens when you care more about what others think than what you think yourself?
And one of the reasons we care so much about what other people think is because we want to fit in and gain their acceptance.
But, what we have to realize is that if we don’t act in ways that is optimally aligned with our deepest wants, needs, and desires—we become irritable, frustrated, and confused.
Because that’s how being out of alignment feels.
The ironic truth is that the path towards acceptance with others is the path that leads towards acceptance of self first.
Because when we are in alignment with our deepest wants, needs, and desires—we become joyful, unbothered, and confident. And THAT is what attracts the people of your tribe who bring with them fitting in and acceptance.
Fulfillment isn’t something that can ever be outsourced.
No matter how well intentioned and good-willed the other people in your life might be.
…It can only ever be sourced from within.