The full collection of explorations.
Where’s the best place to make a pond ripple?
Answer: there isn’t one.
Where’s the best place to make a difference?
Answer: there isn’t one.
Right where you are is as good as any.
Just start turning your ideas into actions and toss them into the pond.
The ripples will follow.
Question #1: Who brings out the best in you?
Question #2: Who brings out the worst in you?
And now for my real question: Is it really ever anyone but you?
In other words, sure, it’s easy to think that the best people will bring out the best in you and the worst people will bring out the worst in you. But, what comes out from you shouldn’t ever be dependent on them.
What comes out from you should solely be dependent on you.
Everybody should get your best. Not because they deserve it or have earned it—maybe they haven’t. But, because regardless of who you’re surrounded with, even the worst, nobody has the right to control your state of mind.
Life is too short to spend even one minute (that’s sixty seconds we’ll never get back) in your worst state.
And that’s not all—it perpetuates. Their worst state becomes your worst state which likely will become someone else’s worst state. We have to become the alchemists of our minds. We must learn to convert anger to patience; frustration to perseverance; pain to creativity. We must choose to break the cycle.
Otherwise, we might as well pass over the quality of our life to the people nearest to us throughout our days. And hope for the best.
Every act of creation
adds a drop to the tide
every compliment made from nothing
every thank you properly shared
every smile gifted to another
every work of art created with care
every loving embrace
every bridge made from here and there
adds a drop to the tide
that lifted us from down there
Every act of destruction
takes from the tide
every comparison made
every expectation shared
every frown imposed upon another
every opportunity for work, done without care
every embrace avoided
every bridge burned leaving some here, some there
takes from the tide
that lowered us from up there
From nothing to something
we are the creators of tide
From something back to nothing
oh, don’t you damn hide
It’s you and it’s me and it’s all of us together
creating and destroying
lifting and lowering
caring and not caring
that results in the tide that we
like it or not
all have to share
While working out, I think about how I don’t want to workout.
When I don’t workout, I think about how I should’ve worked out.
The first burns ~60 minutes of thinking from my day.
The latter burns closer to ~600 minutes.
Get it?
Now go get done what you know needs to get done.
With the possibility of a 10x return on your investment, you’d be crazy not to.
“The MOST IMPORTANT feature of a sustainable habit: You don’t hate doing it.”
Mark Palmer, Twitter
This doesn’t mean you have to love doing each of your daily habit tasks, just that you don’t hate doing them—there’s a difference.
Moving even one tick back from “miserable” to “don’t like it,” can remarkably lengthen your habit’s lifespan and prevent you from burning out altogether.
Like when you move one tick back from “red zone” to “yellow zone” while running. That minor pace adjustment can give your legs a major boost in life. And you’ll last far longer than you ever would’ve if you stayed in “red.”
While “red” is what moves you fast, “yellow” is what takes you far.
This is how I approach all sustainable habits. Fast isn’t what I’m after—far is what I want. The question I often ask myself is, “How can I make this more like an enjoyable run and less like an all out sprint?”
And I move things a tick back wherever I find myself in “red.” Similarly, I move things a tick forward wherever I find myself in a “green.” Because being in “green,” of course, doesn’t take you anywhere far or fast. It keeps you comfortable where you are.
And even though I don’t like being uncomfortable, I make sure that what I’m doing never makes me miserable. Because not only is “miserable” bad for the run—it’s bad for all future runs! And if you want to go far, going in misery is no way to go.
Sun always shines Earth may have turned Or clouds moved between But don’t confuse all dark with no sun Sun always shines Light in you always shines Though backs may turn Or moods may fog Don’t confuse all dark with no light Light in you always shines Building happens better in the light Don’t settle so quick for habits of the night While it may seem no end’s in sight And that life may only be squinting and strife Be patient Building happens better in the light Backs, as Earth, will rotate once more Clouds, as mind, will clear like before And what you will realize Is that light, while obstructed, was never that far The light in you was always shining As bright as before
When we confront challenges in life, it’s in our nature to seek the path of least resistance and to look for ways we can make those challenges easier.
One such method is by dumping our challenges on other people. Because if someone else will confront the challenge for us, who is presumably stronger, why not let them? (1) They’re stronger and (2) it’ll be easier for us! Well, this is precisely why we shouldn’t.
While it’s quite admirable that someone would do such a kind thing for another, here’s what we have to remember: borrowing strength builds weakness.
People who confront other people’s challenges for them become nothing more than a “crutch.” And while being a crutch is okay when someone is really broken—like how crutches are used to rehab a broken leg—at a certain point we have to take the crutches away. If we don’t, the muscles will continue to atrophy and weaken.
The challenge is precisely what’s needed for growth.
Likewise, at some point, we have to stop seeking “crutches” and stop being other people’s “crutch.” We have to bear the full weight of the consequences associated with our actions. It’s the only way we’ll ever build up the strength we desire so badly to have.