The full collection of explorations.
Surround yourself with people who are growth-minded.
Not people who are distraction-oriented.
Being around growth will make you want to grow.
…Even more than being around (distracted) experts in your field.
What could possibly feel better than getting that new car?
Or that new phone?
Or those new shoes?
…The answer?
Whatever we decide we’re going to feel better about.
That’s the thing about feelings—they’re signals created by us as a result of what we tell ourselves about the world.
“I’m the type of person who always rocks the latest.” Versus: “I’m the type of person who knows how to rock whatever I have.”
Once we realize that our feelings are a byproduct of the stories we tell ourselves we can begin to move our pens differently—as the author of our story—and better influence the feelings that result.
When you’ve done your best Return to gratitude— Not your to-do list.
“Don’t be a “problem solver.” Be a “solutionist.” There is a difference. A problem solver spends a lot of time focusing on the problems. A solutionist acknowledges the problem while focusing on assessing the best solutions given the desired outcome.”
Samantha Postman, Twitter
And it’s even more than that for me.
Being a problem solver has a selfish connotation to it.
It confines the person—the solver of the problems—into a mindset where they need to be the one who does the solving.
So, rather than expanding their problem-solving capabilities and ideas to a broader network to include other (maybe more qualified) people and resources, they limit their focus to their own capabilities and resources which becomes a type of hindrance to the solution in itself.
This is where identifying as a solutionist can help.
Solutionists are focused on how they can help facilitate a solution. It’s a more selfless approach that taps into the bountiful resources that are available to each of us at any given moment in time.
It isn’t always easy to do this. Especially for those who see themselves as being great problem-solvers, do-it-themselvers, will-do-anything-to-help-you-ers.
But, how great are you really if you’re hindering the solution process? Or if you’re not helping in every possible way you can? Are you really willing to do anything for others—even if that means pointing them away from you?
Ultimately we can’t make solving problems about us. We have to make it about the act of facilitating more solutions for this world.
Because there will always be plenty of problems to solve.
No need to hog (or hinder) any one of them because of our egos.
In short: don’t keep your confusion to yourself.
Keeping your confusion to yourself is literally the act of preventing growth.
Reaching out for help when confused may be hard, but it’s the path towards growth.
If we do nothing to expand our thinking, our thinking will never expand.
And expanding our thinking is important because our opportunities in life expand in proportion to the problems we learn how to solve—which only ever fall within the confines of our thinking.
There’s no such thing as a problem-free life.
Life is merely a game of exchanging and/or upgrading problems.
If you want to ‘upgrade’ your problems, you have to upgrade your skills.
For example, investing money isn’t a problem you get to solve if you’re living paycheck to paycheck. You have to figure out how to make more than your lifestyle costs before you get to solve investing.
Running from problems and/or distracting yourself from building up higher level skills only keeps you stuck having to face the same problems because that’s what your lower level skills know how to face.
It’s those who build the most valuable/ interesting skills that get to solve the most valuable/ interesting problems in the world.
And the pathway there always starts with the problems that are right in front of you first.
Beware: in many cases, it’s when we’re attempting to be most useful to the world that we actually end up being the least useful to ourselves.
An outward focus on productivity and getting things done can easily turn into a toxic work ethic that leads us to disregard the things we most need to do for our own personal wellness.
This is classic workaholic-ism.
Now, beware: the remedy I’m going to offer, like most pills, might be hard to swallow.
What we need to become comfortable with and practice is the idea of uselessness.
That’s right—being more useless to the world.
Did that thought make you cringe a little?
It’s got a distinctly counter-culture sound to it that might make you feel uneasy when thinking about.
Which would only further prove my point.
Being useless to the world isn’t an attack on your self-worth. It’s the very means through which you get to be more useful to yourself.
…Time when you get to stop compromising, negotiating, accommodating, pleasing, bending-over-backwards for, and sucking up to others in order to get things done.
Being useless to the world is about total and complete surrender to outward obligations and a wholesome focus towards the calls of your spirit.
Not towards distraction, inaction, or suppression—but towards introspection, healing, and overflowing.
Because we can only ever be as useful to the world as we become useful. And if we’re only ever focused on being useful to others, we never have a chance to be useful to ourselves. And one of the only times we get to ever be most useful to ourselves is when we’re most useless to the world.
Swallow the pill.