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The full collection of explorations.

Happiness Masks

Superficial happiness is a smiling mask that’s put over an unhappy face.

It can be quite convincing, too.

Not because people aren’t good at distinguishing masks versus faces—but because most people are wearing masks themselves.

And calling out your mask puts into question the mask they’re wearing.

…And most of us don’t want to talk about the face that’s hidden under our masks.

It’s precisely why we put masks on in the first place.

And so we carry on smiling and nodding at other people’s masks while we discreetly hide our upset and frown through our own. And that becomes a sort of accepted and forgotten about norm.

Every now and again though, we sit down with a person and they actually take their mask off.

Not to burden us. Not to complain. Not to shower sadness on our superficial happiness.

But, to share what’s real. To express something deeper than a portrayal of happiness. To give their vulnerabilities some space to breathe out from under the tight compression of plastic pressed up against their cheeks and forehead.

And what’s interesting is that the people who tend to wear their happiness masks less, and are able to share and express what’s real to them more, are often the ones who experience deeper joy as a result.

Because the byproduct of wearing a superficial mask of happiness—isn’t happiness.

Happiness is the byproduct of connecting more deeply to (and better understanding) ourselves.

Making Beauty

A beautiful home isn’t something that happens—it’s something you make happen.

A beautiful mindset isn’t something that happens—it’s something you make happen.

A beautiful life isn’t something that happens—it’s something you make happen.

If you let life happen to you, the byproduct will be a mess—for life always moves towards chaos.

Beauty is the byproduct of taking those given messes and turning them into something you can be proud of.

Lego House Or Skyscraper?

Daily affirmation: “I am not building a Lego house.”

Continued: “I am building a skyscraper. I am building a towering and intricate legacy of work that deeply reflects a long-lasting and firm commitment to steel, brick, and mortar—not cheap, plastic toys.”

Repeat as needed when things get tough.

The Antidote

The antidote to harm: Love.

The antidote to hate: Love.

The antidote to indifference: Love.

The antidote to fear: Love.

The antidote to cruelty: Love.

Be a walking antidote to the poisons of the world.

The Expert Line-Cutter

The Urgent is an expert line-cutter.

Each day, as The Important graciously lines itself up to be prioritized, The Urgent cuts right in front and boots it to the back of the line.

It does this over and over again, day-in and day-out.

Don’t allow this type of behavior in your house.

For what you have to realize about The Important is that it’s patient—it thinks there will always be time. It assumes that if The Urgent needs to go through all of that trouble to plot, plan, fuss, and meander its way to the front of the line, it might as well get the priority.

But, the reality is, there won’t always be time. And The Urgent will always think it’s more important than The Important. That’s its nature.

As the authority of your life, it’s your responsibility to recognize this and put clear boundaries up around prioritization.

Sometimes an urgent cut in line may be justified. But, there should rarely ever be a day when you don’t—in some way, shape, or form—work on what’s important.

When Habits Become Easier

.…They don’t.

21/30/60/90 days isn’t the amount of time it takes for a hard task to become easy.

…It’s the amount of time it takes for you to not forget to do the hard task(s).

Many people get this twisted.

Hard tasks, generally speaking, never get easier.

The 21/30/60/90 day mark is simply how long it takes for you to integrate a new habit into your lifestyle—it’s the getting to and the starting of the task that gets easier.

Remember this the next time you commit to a new lifestyle habit.

Day 22/31/61/91 is going to be just as hard as day 1. You’re delusional if you think otherwise.

  • An excruciatingly hard workout regime will continue to be just as excruciatingly hard.
  • An extraordinarily strict diet will continue to be just as miserable.
  • An emotionally draining side-hustle will continue to be just as emotionally-draining.

The key is to make sure that the pace you’re setting for yourself at the outset is one that you’ll be able to maintain far beyond just 21/30/60/90 days.

Good measure is to imagine how you’ll feel about your new lifestyle habit on day 9,000.

Do you think you’ll still be doing the task in question?

Proceed accordingly.

Swollen Emotions

Undesired emotions left untapped, swell.

The more those undesired emotions swell, the worse they become.

With mindfulness, we can tap into that swollen reservoir and give those emotions the path they need to flow.

This path allows the body to drain those unpleasant feelings, energy-guzzling thoughts, and hazy perspectives that make the emotions so undesirable.

But, worth noting: this doesn’t make them “bad” or “negative.” For the very nature of an undesired emotion is to signal to us that something is wrong.

And knowing that something is wrong is vital for our survival as humans.

So pay your undesired emotions some mind. Give them the light of your attention. Allow them some space in your day. The longer the emotion(s) get(s) ignored—the worse that “wrong” thing will get.

Remember, once they feel heard, they will flow.

Which will allow space for the opposite type of emotion to grow.

And this is what allows for the real transformations to take place.