“Deciding to stop eating sweets and to start eating vegetables are separate psychological functions. The first takes self-control. The second takes self-discipline. You can easily succeed at one and fail at the other. They aren’t the same process!”
Dr. Julia-Marie O’Brien
Self-discipline says “Go,” even when you don’t want to—to do what you know you have to.
Self-control says “No,” even when you might want to say “Yes”—to stop you from doing something you know you shouldn’t.
In the same way self-discipline is built by breaking down seemingly large tasks into manageable chunks (to make “going” easier)—self-control is built by preemptively mitigating temptations before they turn into uncontrollably large ones (to make saying “No” easier).
If improving self-discipline follows a big to small format:
- Step 1: Identify the big task that you know needs to get done—that comes from a deep place.
- Step 2: Make doing the task easy (so it can be done even on the hard days)—by breaking it down into smaller, simpler, easier to remember tasks.
- Step 3: Go—ideally at times when your energy levels are highest.
Then improving self-control might follow a small to big format:
- Step 1: Identify the small cravings/desires as they arrive—be mindful of regular patterns.
- Step 2: Make mitigating those cravings/desires easy—have a plan in place (e.g. if I get a craving for something sweet, then I’ll have peanut butter and a protein bar).
- Step 3: Stop—ideally at times when you’re cravings/desires are at their lowest.
While these two words might seem interchangeable, this key difference in these psychological processes should be understood if we hope to improve upon them.