Category: Archives

The full collection of explorations.

Not My Job

Published on September 19, 2023

Driving home from work this afternoon, I saw a landscaping crew blowing trash into the street.

And not just grass clippings or weeds or small cigarette butts… I’m talking trash that looked like it was dumped from a trash can—trash. Things like McDonalds paper bags, Super Size to-go cups, plastic food wrappers, empty chip bags, AND grass clippings/ weeds/ cigarette butts…

I can almost see the train of thought in my head: “Cleaning up trash isn’t our job.”

“…We mow, we weed whack, we hedge, we blow, and we go.”

And they’re not wrong.

Cleaning up other people’s trash shouldn’t be anyone’s job except the person who did the trashing—and the greatly appreciated workers who are hired to transport it from our cans/bins to the appropriate community location.

And yet, in that moment… I couldn’t help but feel like they were doing something wrong.

If you’re going to go through the effort of blowing it around and into the street, why not just bend over, pick it up, and put it in a garbage bag that’s preemptively set aside? Why not go the extra mile (or extra few steps) and properly deal with the property you were hired to care for? Why not be the change rather than perpetuate the problem?

I say this not from a place of judgement, but from a place of care. I say this not from a place of being perfect at doing this myself, but from a place of inquisition. I say this not to call people out, but to inspire others—myself included—to step it up.

I say this because I think, it’s what more of us need to hear.

The Tree(s) of Life

Published on September 18, 2023

“The branches of happiness can only reach as high as the roots of sadness go deep.”
Osho

Whenever I find myself feeling sadness, for whatever reason, this expression reminds me that it’s precisely the right time to focus on roots—it isn’t something to avoid or curse. That it’s, in fact, the perfect time for depth and more deeply entrenching my “roots” into the nature of my character.

And just recently, I’m recognizing that it is the same for the relationships we have with others, isn’t it?

The people you feel most deeply connected with, I’d be willing to bet, are the ones you’ve shared the most with in both directions of that relationship’s tree—branches/happiness and roots/sadness.

This is why the relationships you only share happiness with can often collapse and end. Not because it wasn’t happy enough, but, because of a lack of depth… a lack of roots… a lack of sadness or heaviness shared. No roots and all branches cause trees to timber.

….All roots and no branches don’t work much better either.

Without any way of adding warmth/humor/sunlight to the relationship, the tree dies—no matter how deep the roots go. It’s the duality of both that makes the tree’s growth work.

Wherever you find yourself in your relationships—both with yourself and others—the point is to be there; in those moments. And really feel whatever it is your feeling. Let your roots deepen. Let your branches stretch outward. Let what you feel, flow. And let yourself flow freely between all of life’s emotions.

This is how we honor and facilitate the growth of all the tree(s) of our life.

Maybe It’s Time To Try?

Published on September 17, 2023

My team and I completed the 10k, 20 obstacle, mud run today.

…The one everybody was in their feels about yesterday—unsure of how to act as they moved slowly towards that place that’s outside of the ol’ comfort zone.

…But, move forward they did. No back outs; no bad energy; no hesitations. Everybody did their best and many… beat their previous bests.

Old ideas of what their perceived limits were—were smashed; new limits were reached; and many of them left with something they’ll hold onto for life.

Here are some of the things that were shared in our group chat after the run:

“I had no idea our bodies + brains could do so much…”
“This was definitely an amazing memory and experience…”
“Something I will never forget…”
“A Tough Mudder was not something I ever though of doing & I did originally come up with all the reasons not to, but figured I had nothing to lose by trying. Thanks everyone for making this such an amazing experience!”

Some questions for you, dear reader, to reflect on: when’s the last time you challenged one of your perceived limits? As in, actively tried to do something that you’re pretty sure you “can’t” do…? Maybe it’s time to get something into your calendar you can train for…? Maybe it’s time to team up with a group of people who are heading in that direction…?

…Maybe it’s time to try?

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

The Excited / Nervous Mix

Published on September 17, 2023

Ten of my team members and I signed up to do a 10k, 20 obstacle course, mud race—one that none of us have officially trained for and one that has been rumored to be quite hard.

These are the types of messages that were being sent in our group chat:

“Outfit picked, salvation army shoes, nervous but I’m committed…”
“I’m nervous but excited to make the finish line…”
“I’m a bit terrified and a lot excited. Whatever happens, it will be an experience!”
“I’m mostly scared and a little excited…”

The excited/ nervous mix is an excellent indicator that you’re moving outside of your comfort zone and towards a zone of growth.

The ego is the nervous trying to pull you back towards safety—where you won’t embarrass yourself, mess up, get scared, get tired, get dirty, and so forth.

The deeper parts of yourself are the excited trying to push you towards something greater—where you get to “make the finish line,” overcome new obstacles, prove your strength, develop spirit, callous your mind, complete something harder than most others would even dare to attempt, and so forth.

The key, worth noting, is in the mix.

All nervous and no excitement and there will be no reward / reason. All excitement and no nervous and there won’t be enough depth / substance. Get the two mixed just right, though? And what follows as you step into that mix may very well imprint itself into your memory… for life.

…It’s the type of mix that makes memories that last lifetimes.

Complete Me [Poem]

Published on September 15, 2023

Everything I loved about you
Is what I’ve used
To rebuild me

What used to be pieces
Of you
Used to complete me

Have become pieces
By you
Built into me

By leaving me in pieces
…Bless you
I’ve reengineered a more—

Complete me.

P.s. You can read my other poems here.

Earning The Imperfect Side

Published on September 14, 2023

One of the most remarkable questions I was asked this year at Burning Man was: What does it take for a person to earn your vulnerability?

Which is a timely question as there’s a great lack in vulnerability sharing which is what’s causing a great lack in connection creating—aka modern day loneliness.

Our vulnerabilities are the sides of ourselves that are soft, silly, quirky, scared, hurt, and otherwise perceived as imperfect. Whereas what we share digitally—which is where most of us share in the modern world—is the opposite of that. It’s our highlight reel that features us in our most “perfect” form.

The problem this causes, of course, is that it’s through the sharing of our vulnerabilities that we’re able to genuinely connect with others. Two perfect highlight reel people only have superficial understandings of one another. It’s the people who share the “behind-the-scenes,” “blooper reels,” and “off camera/ no audience/ completely un-self-conscious” sides of themselves who get to connect on deeper levels.

And so to return to the question… What does it take for a person to earn your imperfect side? …The side that could be hurt, made fun of, or laughed at? The side you hide from internet trolls, bullies, and a-holes?

…Trust.

It is and always will be, for me at least, trust.

Which is earned in small sums with each made and kept promise; and is lost in huge withdrawals with each made and promise broken. Once the small sum deposits cross a certain threshold, you gain access to my vulnerable side. And if they don’t or never do—you don’t.

Your turn: What does it take for somebody to earn your vulnerability?

Mind Party

Published on September 13, 2023

One of the most interesting classes I took while at Burning Man was a meditation and beats class.

A young, shaggy haired fellow, wearing loose, oversized clothing sat at the front of the group—maybe 30 of us, all lined up in a Tetris format with some sitting in lotus, some upright in chairs, and some laying down diagonally with hands folded across their chest—and guided us through a meditation with a banana mic.

Yes, a mic that was dressed as a banana.

…When at Burning Man, eh?

For the first 30 minutes, he got us to relax into our bodies, had us do body scans, guided us through breathing exercises, helped us quiet our minds, and spoke about recognizing moments of mindfulness as celebrations.

…It was that last point that I found most interesting.

A moment of mindfulness, he explained, were those particular moments when you noticed your mind has wandered and you came back to the present moment.

This is the moment when many of us, myself included, would normally get most frustrated. Because it’s the moment when you realized you failed to stay present.

But, reframing those moments as celebrations and not frustrations made perfect sense.

Why frustrate over a moment successfully reclaimed? …It should absolutely be seen as a victory! In fact, it’s the very thing that we’d want to reinforce if we want to facilitate more of the same.

…And just as I was making this connection and beginning to practice—our shaggy haired leader suddenly started playing psychedelic music and for the next 30 minutes, it was like a party in my mind.