Category: Archives

The full collection of explorations.

Controlling Stimuli > Controlling Responses

Published on April 17, 2024

Every stimulus begs a response.

Your phone rings from every call—and “likely spam” is your bff. You must decide if you’ll look, not look, answer, or ignore—every time.
An app sends a notification. You must decide if you’ll clear it, check it (and likely go down the rabbit hole), or ignore it (and wonder about it on and off until you check it).
A company emails you about a sale. You must decide if you’ll read it, click it, trash it, or ignore it.
A friend asks you to do something you don’t want to. You must decide if you’ll say yes, say no, or come up with some kind of excuse or delay.
The social media accounts you follow show hyper fit and popular people doing incredible and hilarious things that make you feel bad about yourself. You must decide if you’ll leave it and keep opening and scrolling, if you’ll unfollow/mute/block, or if you’ll ignore.

It’s one thing to work really hard to train your responses. To understand that the gap between stimulus and response is your destiny. To learn to control anger, to calm yourself after getting triggered, to manage your impulses to indulge, to have the confidence to stand up for yourself, to teach yourself to love yourself and not compare yourself to others…

…And it’s a whole ‘nother thing to design your lifestyle in a way that those types of stimuli that illicit those types of undesirable responses don’t even exist.

P.s. If you enjoy getting these types of morning stimuli, you can support my future work by filling up my cup with that hot, brown goodness here.

The Path Of Most Resistance

Published on April 16, 2024

As a leader/role model/parent/etc, saying what you expect is one thing.

…Inspecting what you expect is another.

If getting certain tasks done is important, delegating them and asking someone to do it once isn’t enough. You must follow up. And even after you’ve confirmed a good track record, it’s still important to inspect their work regularly—albeit maybe in less frequent time intervals.

What’s important to remember is that we humans have the tendency to skew our directions towards the path of least resistance—always—and oftentimes even unbeknownst to us.

And without any checks… there won’t be any rebalances.

If we want to keep our trajectory pointed towards excellence—then we’re going to need to hold each other accountable. Because excellence, essentially, is the path filled with the most resistance. And we don’t just stay on that type of path without help, accountability, or well built self-discipline.

The path we’re innately wired to follow is the one that leaves us bound to land somewhere in the middle or below—where average effort and results reign supreme. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

But if excellence is what you’re after (what you’re seriously after), then rewiring is going to need to be involved. And not just a one-and-done kind of rewiring… but, the constant, deliberate, above-and-beyond kind.

…The kind that always gets checked so it’s always staying balanced.

P.s. Need help building self-discipline? My guide will help. Now 30% off for a limited time.

Not Every Stranger Is Out To Get You

Published on April 15, 2024

As I was walking my dog yesterday, I came across a neighbor’s kid who was outside practicing soccer.

He was jumping up and down passing the ball one foot to the other presumably drilling ball handling skills.

But, when he saw my dog and I coming, he subtly grabbed the ball and walked off his front lawn, up his driveway, and to the back of his house—completely out of sight as we passed.

And it made me feel bad/sad.

I don’t know if he was shy or if I looked intimidating or if my dog looked intimidating or what…

But, I certainly didn’t want to interrupt his practice or make him feel awkward.

And I certainly would’ve said “Hi” and smiled as we passed.

Heck, I would’ve even kicked the ball with him if he hit it my way and we could’ve become acquainted as neighbor friends.

I write this as a reminder that not every stranger is out to get you… that not every social interaction is going to be as awkward or one-sided as you might think… that there is a lot more good in the world than the news/media might make you believe.

And while it’s undoubtedly important to teach people to be cautious (as a martial arts instructor, this is one of the major lessons I teach)… I’d argue it’s just as important to teach people to be brave.

Chasing Sunsets

Published on April 14, 2024

I can vividly remember times when I would—after sensing a good sunset coming on—hop in my car and drive to the best local viewpoints to try and see it from the most perfect spots.

Once in a while, I nailed it.

Oftentimes, I ended up doing way more chasing than I ever did seeing.

And it wasn’t uncommon for me to miss the sunset altogether as I hastily hunted for better and better spots.

Now, when I sense a good sunset coming on, I try to find the nearest viewpoint, catch a seat, and maximize the viewing time.

Because ultimately, I think what sunsets demand—the reason we’re drawn to them so much—is our presence. They pull us away from our screens (sometimes), out from our drama, and allow us to fixate our complete attention on something awe inspiring.

…And by foolishly chasing after “perfect” spots to be present… we miss so much of the presence—the gift the sunset was supposed to provide in the first place—that was available to us the entire time.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

Don’t Let Your Strength Weaken The Ones Around You

Published on April 13, 2024

Sometimes (oftentimes) the best thing you can do to help the people around you grow… is less.

…Yes, lead by example.

…Yes, do for others what you would want done for you.

…Yes, offer support, take initiative, and maintain a strong work ethic.

But, also…

…Share the hard(er) work, large(r) opportunities, and high(er) pressure situations.

…Give people space to explore, experiment, and figure things out on their own.

…Allow people to struggle and mess up and fail.

Growth happens outside our zones of comfort. And if we keep the people around us too comfortable (by doing much of the uncomfortable work)—contrary to what we might see as a service to them—what we’re actually doing to them is a disservice.

Because while being comfortable is what we think we want in any given moment (and what we might think we want from the people around us/working with us)… what we actually want is to do something we can be proud of… something that challenged us and made us better… something that helped us realize our potential.

And sometimes (oftentimes) that only happens when the stronger people around us… do less.

P.s. Borrowing Strength Builds Weakness – A Lesson From My 104 Year Old Grandmother

The Stay Dry Mentality

Published on April 12, 2024

Last night it was pouring.

Buckets of water falling from the sky mixed with trash can toppling winds.

It would’ve been so easy for me to excuse myself from taking my dog on her daily walk.

But, we went anyway.

And I decided to completely surrender to the weather.

I didn’t try to dodge raindrops. I didn’t try to fight the wind. I didn’t try to jump the puddles.

I let myself feel it all.

I let myself feel the foundation of life as it washed across my face… the puddles we once knew so intimately as kids as they swallowed my shoes… the unrelenting, unforgiving power of nature’s wind as it thrashed me in every which direction like a rag doll being guided by a two year old.

At some point along our way in life and for some reason, we adopt a stay-dry mentality… of avoiding contact with the rain at all costs and shielding ourselves from the very nature from which we were born. And I think it affects us.

Not only from a visceral standpoint… but from a metaphorical one as well.

Be Karma

Published on April 11, 2024

Today, I went to get the next phase of my tattoo done.

At the beginning of the appointment, my tattoo artist said he’d be right back and stepped out of the shop.

A minute later, he came back in and said he had to go back out and help an elderly gentlemen.

And about fifteen minutes after that, he returned with a drenched shirt and several apologies.

He told me he went outside to get a piece of gum and an elderly man asked him for help crossing the street and getting to the convenience store.

So, my tattoo artist obliged—not knowing it would take him as long as it did or that he’d get as wet as he did.

None-the-less, it was a great deed and we had a couple good laughs about it when he returned.

Some people might’ve gotten annoyed by this and complained about the fact that they were made to wait fifteen minutes.

But, what I tried to do was give him an even bigger tip at the end of our session than I think I otherwise would’ve.

Because when you have a chance to be karma—I say take it. Particularly when it comes to rewarding the good deeds people have done. And even better if you can do it anonymously.

I have no doubt that the universe would’ve taken care of him in due time—my tattoo artist is a really good dude. But, if I could’ve expedited the process a little, why not?

…Something maybe you can help us do more of, too?

P.s. 101 Ways you can help us “recalibrate” the world.