Category: Archives

The full collection of explorations.

Meaning > Fun

Published on June 11, 2024

If your top criteria for doing something is that it be fun… then you’ll eventually regress to doing things that give comfortable thrills, dopamine hits, and easy wins.

If your top criteria for doing something is that it be meaningful… then you’ll push yourself to do things that are uncomfortable up front, but long term rewarding… things that are accompanied with progress, deep-seated gratitude, and fulfillment… things that challenge you to fail, learn, and grow.

Fun is for lazy Sundays, nights out with the boys, day trips with the girls…

Meaningful is for career paths, health and fitness efforts, community service, legacy…

The trick is to do meaningful work that you also have fun doing that you’d STILL DO even during the times when it isn’t so fun (no meaningful work is fun 100% of the time).

Expecting meaningful work to feel like an arcade isn’t practical. What you can expect, however, is to feel a deep sense fun/joy/reward from meaningful work that superficial “fun” work could never provide.

Something that comes from seeing others and feeling yourself improve… that comes from building something of value and awe… that comes from seeing your art/ creative visions come to life… that comes from thank you letters and unprompted gifts… that comes from changing lives.

Fun-only is almost always absent of meaning. Meaning-only almost always includes some sense of fun. Maybe not immediately, but almost always over the long run.

An Ounce Of Patience Is Worth A Ton Of (Inner) Peace

Published on June 10, 2024

On my drive to work this morning, I pissed a guy off very much.

While crossing the street in the middle of traffic, he started yelling and swearing at me for driving too… slow… because I didn’t drive past him fast enough which made him slow down his stride and (god forbid) wait an extra few moments before he could finish his jaywalk.

Looking in my rear view mirror, he didn’t continue in any kind of hurry either… just continued walking across the street, mumbling to himself, with anger oozing from his mannerisms.

The experience as a whole couldn’t have cost the guy anything more than 10 seconds. And yet, probably cost him upwards of at least 10 minutes from his exacerbated response… maybe even hours—who knows. And here I am, furthermore, thinking about it and writing about it hours and hours later.

Coincidentally, as the universe would have it, I discovered and uploaded a quote to MoveMe Quotes today that said, “Patience is not passive, it is concentrated strength.” And this little experience does a great job exemplifying why.

Ten seconds of patience—concentrated strength—could have given him and me (and anyone else involved) an exponential return in time saved from anger/ frustration/ and irritation… time that could be used instead for joy/ presence/ creative thinking/ etc.

And to those who take the time to develop that concentrated strength and actively flex those patience muscles in their every day lives—thank you. Not only is the ROI phenomenal for you, but it is for all of us. Your strength gives us more time and space to develop ours—and for that I am (we are) grateful.

The Worst Awning Creaking

Published on June 9, 2024

I have a metal awning covering the front door of my house.

It has been making an awful creaking noise whenever the wind picked up for the past few weeks.

It’s definitely not new and is something my mind started budgeting for as soon as I started hearing the screech. I figured I would first budget time to see if it was something I could fix myself. I could call over my handyman dad and see if whatever was loose could get tightened and we could clean her up—leaving her good as new.

If that didn’t work, I figured I would budget money for a new one and I started thinking about different colors and styles I might choose to replace it.

This went on and on in the background of my mind since I started noticing the reoccurring sound several weeks ago.

It wasn’t until I actually went outside today and took a closer look that I realized all of that horrible creaking… and screeching… and reoccurring annoyance…

…Was from one singular, oh-so-tiny bush branch—no bigger than my pinky—that was rubbing up against the front of the awning in such a way and at such an angle that it made that obnoxious noise.

I reached up, broke off the branch, and voila… problem solved.

How often is it the case that we do silly things like this? Make something oh-so-tiny into something way bigger than it needed to be? Something that could’ve been solved at the outset with a little up front investigation and energy… but got delayed and blown out of proportion instead…

Oh, how much energy I (we) could have saved…

Traveling the Distance

Published on June 9, 2024

Today, the Martial Arts Association I’m a part of hosted a black belt and higher level degree test for 80 candidates.

Each earned their way onto that testing floor from years and years of consistent hard training and well displayed martial arts culture / respect.

And each outlasting many of their peers who started on the same journey with them. Maybe only 1% makes it all the way from white belt to black belt. And maybe .01% makes it to the higher degrees. Their dedication carried them forward to a place where most never travel.

And so it is with everything we do in life.

There’s nothing wrong with stopping something you’re no longer passionate about or choosing to explore other areas of interest. But, do that too much, and you’ll never get to travel to that place where only the smallest of percentages get to.

What you pick doesn’t matter per se… what matters is that you pick.

And that you give what you pick your absolute best shot… through thick and thin… when it’s sunny outside and when it’s rainy… when you’re feeling lazy and when you’re feeling on top of the world… when you’re feeling low and when you’re feeling unstoppable…

Traveling the distance is what gives us roots. It’s what gives us depth. It’s what gives us wisdom.

Miyamoto Musashi said, “To know ten thousand things, know one well.” …And this is what he means.

Go deep in one specific domain and the rest of the universe reveals itself. Submit to your lazy nature and dilly dally your way from one thing to the next to the next… and you’ll forever only understand what’s on the surface.

Who Is A Rich Person?

Published on June 7, 2024

…This is the question we’ve been discussing this week at the martial arts school I teach at.

Some of the student answers we received ranged from, “Someone who has a lot of money” to “Someone who has a lot of kindness” to “Someone who has a lot of friends” to “Someone who has a big house and fancy car” to “Elon Musk/Jeff Bezos” etc.

And after discussing those answers, the answer we offered for the students to reflect on was, “Someone who appreciates all they have.”

…If your mind immediately goes to rich by comparison, then you’ll always be poor.

There will always be someone out there who has more money, more luxury items, more connections, more resources, more privileges, etc. Always.

And this is the trap so many of us fall into when we equate richness to being about what we have in comparison to.

Richness, I’d encourage you to consider, has nothing to do with comparison.

Richness has everything to do with perspective. It’s a feeling that can be cultivated—not a title earned from a number of zeros.

And once we realize this and can start actively cultivating that feeling of richness in our lives via appreciation, gratitude, mindfulness—suddenly the game we’re playing changes.

…Suddenly we get to step off the hamster wheel we’ve been trained to run on (the one that only speeds up and gets harder the harder we speed up and run)—and get to start soaking it all in instead. With each step… each conversation… each touch… each smile… each exchange along the way.

P.s. I also published: 20 Heavy Michelle Zauner Quotes from Crying In H Mart on Cancer and Grief

Problem Solving Like A Gardener

Published on June 6, 2024

An inner work exercise: pick a problem, any problem, you’re facing in your life right now… write it down.

Inquire as to whether the problem is being caused by a deeper rooted problem or if that problem is the core problem that can’t be traced any deeper.

If it can be traced deeper, write down that bigger problem and continue until you get to the core.

Next, move in the opposite direction, start at the core problem and string together all of the additional problems that one root problem is causing—creating a roots-of-a-tree looking diagram.

Continue until all of your ideas are exhausted.

Then… study that diagram. Look closely at the impact of that one root problem. Imprint that impact on your mind. Let it soak deeply into your conscious awareness.

Continue this inquisition by imagining, like a gardener tending to the weeds of a garden, how this problem will respond if you remove or “solve” one of the superficial layers… visualize how, with the root still in tact, it’ll just grow back and manifest itself equally, if not stronger, than before.

Then, visualize how the problem will respond when you remove or “solve” the core problem… visualize how, like a weed being yanked out in full, all of the connected problems will be solved, too.

Finish by mentally repossessing all of the energy you normally devote to the solving of superficial layer problems, and vow to unleash ALL of that repossessed energy on the root problem itself.

Sometimes, we feel overwhelmed and outnumbered—not because of the number of problems per se—but, because of our lack of focus on root problems vs superficial problems.

Maybe Fighting Isn’t The Answer

Published on June 5, 2024

A mother of one of my martial arts students was recently diagnosed with stage 4 cancer.

…Yet, seeing her in person, you’d never know.

She’s vibrant, she’s warm, she’s smiling, she’s taking care of her 7-year-old son’s needs without so much as a single complaint (that I ever hear)… and she’s even DJing on some weekends.

At first glance, some might see this as being possible denial. A possible refusal to acknowledge the diagnosis so the pain or reality isn’t felt. A possible toxic positivity, some might say, to focus exclusively on the good while ignoring fully the bad.

…But, this isn’t the case with this mother at all.

After further inspection and conversation, the vibrance and warmth she’s emitting isn’t coming from denial… but from a refusal to fight.

Which might sound confusing… refusing to fight a cancer diagnosis?!

The idea, she explained on her GoFundMe page, came from the admin of Love Your Cancer Free Life group. He said: “When you fight, it fights back. Rather than fight, accept.”

“Obviously he doesn’t mean to just roll over and play dead.” Lisa explains.

“…It’s more about not feeding into the story that everyone is told about how cancer should look and feel. What he means is come to peace with its presence and accept the need to respond for change.”

She then continued to quote the admin saying, “Fighting is a reaction. Acceptance is a response. Taking authentic action, not reaction, to create the change needed for healing. Stop putting energy into the fight and start placing energy in your POWER for healing.”

…Something we might consider doing in the “fights” of our lives, too.