A friend of mine once said, “I want to always be known as the upbeat, energy guy.”
…So, he focuses on being perceived as positive and optimistic 100% of the time.
While on the surface this might sound admirable, a closer look might reveal how a strategy like this could actually backfire.
The reality of life is that we’re going to suffer. We’re going to be hurt. There’s going to be pain and upset and anger. And if we try to mask or suppress these feelings in an attempt to “remain upbeat”—we’re only going to end up magnifying them further.
This, of course, makes being upbeat and energetic all the harder, which worsens our state, which leads to more frustration, anger, upset—which leads to more suppression… and so it goes.
Emotions unconfronted are emotions that pressurize/ swell/ and later explode in uncontrollable ways. It is only by facing the emotions that arise and giving them the time/energy/attention they require that they may move through us and release.
So, when it comes to positivity and optimism, here’s the catch-22 that each of us should remember: Confronting the “negative” is what leads to the “positive.” Trying to only confront/ acknowledge/ reinforce the “positive” is what leads to the “negative.”
I put “negative” and “positive” in quotes because emotions aren’t inherently either. They’re just signals. And it’s up to us to interpret the signals and act on them in appropriate ways.
Masking them under an unrelenting armor of positivity isn’t one of them.
P.s. I’ll be hosting a LIVE discussion on Twitter where we dive deeper into the Art of Optimism and discuss how to best deploy it. Details here.