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Inverting The Bullying Conversation

Last week, I spoke to a group of 90+ sixth graders about Bullying.

When I was originally asked to do this, in honor of National Bully Prevention Month, the task felt tall.

Most of the school talks I give are highly engaged martial arts + message classes for Kindergarden through fifth grade. But, showing pre-teens and teens how to *properly* kick, punch, and defend themselves felt like it would only lead to *more* confrontation rather than the opposite.

The two questions I kept asking myself over and over again were:

(1) How do I do this for 90+ sixth graders and *not* make them immediately want to fight each other and test their skills after I leave (i.e. How do I *not* be the D.A.R.E. guy)?

And (2) If I don’t teach any martial arts moves, what *can* I do to keep them engaged for a 45 minute presentation?

Here’s the thought process that lead to the presentation (which went quite well) that I felt was worth spreading beyond that one classroom and into the minds of all those who might be able to perpetuate it forward:

  • First of all, I believe fully that: telling people what not to do isn’t as effective as telling them what to do.
  • So, rather than follow a typical Anti-Bully seminar approach of (1) This is bullying (2) This is why it’s bad (3) Don’t bully… I inverted the Bullying conversation into:
  • (1) This is how you can build confidence and create more friendships (the antidote of bullying); (2) Here’s what you do when people try to tear you and others down; (3) Lead the way—the world needs it now more than ever.
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