Being a “good finder” can be tough when awful things happen.
It’s not always appropriate to look for the good in the bad (e.g. like when a heinous crime is committed) but when it is, one thought that can help is the gift of perspective that comes with the awful.
When we experience real hardship, suddenly all of the other “hardships” we experienced in life shrink a little and fade into the background in comparison.
Because in comparison is how we measure “hardship.” And not “in comparison” to other people’s lived experiences—only ever in comparison to our own.
Hardship only becomes real through direct experience. Without direct experience, it’s highly unlikely to affect our perspective (e.g. To see starvation and disease on TV is one thing; to live amongst starvation and disease is another).
When I think about the strongest people I know in life, the people who always come to mind are the ones who have been through the most—hardship, awful things, direct experience with the “bad.” They have a perspective that allows them to stay calm, cool, and collected over awfully heavy stuff while the inexperienced are flustering, raging, and cursing over #firstworldproblems.
This isn’t to judge or make you self-conscious of how you respond to awful things happening—or to say you should act a certain kind of way when they do. It’s merely to remind you that, if no other good can come from an awful thing happening, take with you the direct lived experience that allows you to deepen your life’s perspective.
…One that might even give others a measure of support and strength when they go through awful times of their own.