A thought to update your internal compass:
“People say that what we’re all seeking is a meaning for life. I don’t think that’s what we’re really seeking. I think that what we’re seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonances with our own innermost being and reality, so that we actually feel the rapture of being alive.”
Joseph Campbell
You know what moments give me the most meaning?
…The moments when I feel most alive.
And I’m not even talking about moments when I feel intense joy as rapture might suggest above.
I’m talking about moments when feel the most. In any direction. In the direction of joy, sure. But also in the direction of sad and surprised and fearful and bad.
Even just looking at the past few months of my life. Which moments did I feel the most?
…I felt pretty scared dropping 420 feet straight to the ground on a roller coaster.
…I felt pretty devastated hearing that my friend lost her battle to cancer.
…I felt pretty ecstatic dancing uncaringly at several music shows with friends.
…I felt pretty awful seeing my screen time rise and self-discipline falter.
And coincidentally, these would also be the moments I would reference when thinking about what gave me the most meaning.
So rather than seeking meaning in life…
…Maybe try recalibrating your internal compass to move in the direction of aliveness. To move towards potent feelings; not away from. To seek opportunities to feel more fully; not avoid via distraction, suppression, and vegetation. To actively feel; not passively wait.