You can assemble a car, but you can’t assemble a flower.
A flower can only be grown.
And when you rush the creative process, you start to assemble instead of grow.
Any internet skimmer, quick-fixer side-hustler, AI app can assemble.
…But what we need now more than ever are people who can grow.
I’m going to a music show this weekend.
…And I’m going to meet people I’m never going to meet again thereafter.
It’s a thought I have found myself ruminating on after past shows and I’m going into this weekend with it fully in the forefront this time.
…And it mixes in this sentimental sadness with the already anticipatory excitement—which makes it a depth multiplier if you will.
It makes each glance… each interaction… each contact… a little more meaningful, intentional, and/or deliberate.
It lays a foundation for more magic to occur. Because it can sometimes happen serendipitously… where two paths cross, magic occurs, and then they diverge for the rest of time. And what makes the interaction magic is how something about it also stays with you for the rest of time.
Maybe a look… maybe a line… maybe a touch…
Something that was maybe meant to stay. Something that maybe wasn’t meant to end. Something that formulated the whole reason for the paths to have diverged in the first place.
I’m not sure I believe in destiny more than I believe in retrospective sensemaking.
But one thing is for sure… I believe in the magic of connection. Even the kind that can happen in one singular life interaction. Especially when the culture of the environment is right… and it attracts the right kind of people… and the right aura and energy is being emitted.
Go into these moments with your senses open wide. Be present. Be courageous.
All it takes is the magic of one moment to alter the direction of the rest of a life—theirs or yours.
Osho says that misery is nothing but distance from truth.
Think about the proximity of truth in some of the best/worst relationships you’ve ever known. The relationships riddled with lies were probably the most miserable. And I’m not even just talking about lies with your partner… I’m including lies you’ve told yourself… about who you are, what you want, and how you’re going to show up in the relationship to make it work. And I’m sure the inverse is true as well. Lies move pain (misery) into the future—truth moves pain (misery) into the past.
Think, too, about some of the best/worst job or career paths you’ve ever pursued. The work that was most aligned with the truth of your personality/spirit, was the work you undoubtedly most enjoyed. And the work that felt like a direct contradiction I’m sure caused the most misery. But, again, we can’t be true to our work until we’re true to ourselves. We need to do personality tests, build skills, join clubs, follow our innate curiosities, experiment/side-hustle, and, of course, do inner work to reveal our truth which we can then align with work.
And even just think about some of the best/worse moments in your life… when you were crossing items off your bucket list—doing things that truly fulfill you. Or when you were forced to do something you really didn’t want to do or hated every second of… that was so against your inner truth…
Once you understand this, moving towards truth can become a mantra of sorts that’ll guide you in just about every dimension in life. Once you uncover, of course, what your truth is.
One of my employees mentioned struggling to get her work done after being asked to take on new work.
What I told her was simple: you’re being asked to take on new work because we see you as the person who can help us solve this problem in our business.
And what I suggested she do is prioritize her work tasks and continue to take on the highest level, most important tasks on that list (it’s what adds value to her position and what leads to better titles, positions, and pay) and to delegate the rest of the lower level, easier to do tasks.
What doesn’t lead to better titles, positions, and pay is overcommitting and underperforming. Burning out isn’t good for anybody—not her and not the business. And neither is spreading herself too thin day-in and day-out and pretending like everything is fine.
And if delegating isn’t an option for you in the context of your life… then consider deploying the same strategy, but automating or deleting those lowest level tasks instead.
Something has got to give.
And if it’s not some of your tasks… then it’s probably gonna be you.
…It is only ever caused from within.
To realize this is to realize an unbelievable power.
One where insults, hate, and toxicity no longer cause misery.
…But have no effect on your inner weather at all.
What affects your inner weather is what you allow… what you consent to… what you honor, organize, and prioritize.
Proceed accordingly.
In other words, can we experience something extraordinary without any active involvement or effort on our end?
I’m not sure we can.
In fact, when I list some of the most extraordinary moments I’ve experienced in my life, they’re all moments I was very much involved with facilitating. Things like:
I’m not sure we can just passively sit around, wait, and get hit by an extraordinary life moment that’ll make it onto our life’s highlight reel.
Sure there’s luck, serendipity, and happenstance. But not without our active involvement in some way, shape, or form. In fact, my experience has been that the more I do of the latter, the more I tend to get of the former.
Which is worth reflecting on… does this ring true for you? What are some of your life’s most extraordinary moments? What moments are you actively building to be soon experienced in the next week? Month? Year? Decade? What extraordinary life moments are on your bucket list that you can start actively building for today?
One of the best things I ever did for my career? Daily writing.
One of the best things I ever did for my relationships? Daily writing.
One of the best things I ever did for my mental health? Daily writing.
Here’s why: writing is thinking upgraded.
We download the raw content of our mind in our initial drafts…
Each edit not only improves our piece, but updates the original thought process.
And so if we ever download that content again… it’ll be the updated, upgraded version.
…And the more we repeat the process the more upgraded our thinking becomes.
So when I’m asked to give a presentation at work, my most recently upgraded thoughts get pulled… when I’m asked a question by a family member, friend, lover, etc., my answer is a reflection of what my most recently upgraded thoughts are… when I’m alone and thinking existentially or self-critically, the thoughts I pull are the most upgraded ones.
And if you haven’t written or done any inner work in 10 years… your most recently upgraded thoughts are going to be from 10 years ago. The same is true for a year ago, a month ago, a week ago, or a day ago.
…And not only that, but think about the frequency, too. One upgrade per year? Per month? Per week? Daily?
A bug fix is a bug fix is a bug fix—they all matter. Big upgrades and small ones.
But maybe think about how you might increase the frequency of them in your life.
I promise you it’ll be worth it.