Month: September 2025

Half-Hearted Mixed With Resentment

Published on September 30, 2025

One of my martial arts instructors asked me what my thoughts were on another instructor’s decreased presence because of an increased presence elsewhere and outside of the academy.

…He was concerned this instructor may choose to walk a different career path and very much wanted him to choose martial arts as his career path.

My response was simple… “Let him.”

I’ve worked with high performers my whole professional life and I know that high performers within the academy are most likely high performers elsewhere as well—and this is a beautiful thing.

The mentality should never be to stop them from exploring other areas of interest or guilt them into making martial arts the exclusive focus in their life.

The mentality should be to make our art and career so appealing and exciting that they choose us over the alternatives willingly and full-heartedly.

Because if they don’t choose us willingly, then they’re going to build up resentment. And half-hearted mixed with resentment is a bad formula for any kind of a long term partnership.

…And I’m not just talking about jobs.

Take Control Of The Message

Published on September 29, 2025

A few days ago I wrote about Meditating On Death.

Here’s a response I got from a reader, “This is interesting because it reminds me of this audiobook I was listening to a while ago, A Guide to the Good Life where it talks about Negative Visualization… picturing what’s the worse that can happen. I was chuckling because I realized I do this a lot to myself but always assumed I was just making myself feel anxiety or worry because that’s what was familiar/comfortable, but understood the value of it after listening to that chapter, so I began doing so with more intention, like you talk about. I guess I’ll add my own death to my list of things to visualize [lol].”

And this insight is crucial to understand.

Because when it comes to visualization, the intuitive understanding is that we should fill our minds with best possible outcomes, life-expanding goals being realized, our potential being unleashed in full, and so on. To do negative visualization sounds so counterintuitive and like it’d have precisely that effect on our life. But, the key here is, “…with more intention” as the reader states above.

See instead of letting negative visualizations lead to anxiety and worry and lesser desired emotional states... we take control of the message and intend for it to result in gratitude and appreciation and an urgency to do great things while we still have the chance.

It’s within our power to do this.

And what an incredibly impressive power this is!

…Anxiety traded for gratitude?! Worry traded for appreciation?! Lesser desired emotional states for higher ones and an urgency to live fully?!

I hope you’ll try this today.

Spending Days On Nothing But A “Gist”

Published on September 29, 2025

Being spontaneous can be quite stressful on people.

Generally speaking, people like to know where they’re going, how they’re getting there, what to expect, how to prepare, what they’ll need, and who they might run into or see.

…But knowing all of that defeats the point of spontaneity.

Spontaneity is about trusting yourself and your intuition, your experience, and your capabilities… and leaning into the day with only a whiff of a direction or a gist of a goal.

And today, not only was I able to flex that spontaneity muscle, but I was able to do it with someone who was equally trusting.

He had complete faith in the process, carried zero worries with him throughout the day, and simply focused on contributing fully to the moments we found ourselves in.

Whether you’re being the spontaneous one or find yourself in the accompanying role… learning to trust yourself and how to contribute more fully to the overall process can lead to significantly more enjoyable days.

“Students, This Is How You Bow”

Published on September 28, 2025

I love the story of how Vince Lombardi—one of the best football coaches of all-time—would, on the first day of practice, hold up a football and say, “Gentlemen, this is a football.” And would continue by coaching topics and ideas from the ground up… assuming nothing and ensuring players were fundamentally rock solid.

Today, I began the first black belt training practice for a group of students eligible this December of 2025, teaching them how to bow properly. This is something they obviously knew—much like how the above professional football athletes very much knew what a football was. But, it wasn’t about what they knew… it was about what they thought they knew that they had actually forgotten or built bad habits around.

It’s an excellent reminder that what’s on top always balances on what’s below. And if you want to have top level performances, it always starts with elite level fundamentals. Revisit your foundation often. Take it for granted long enough, and you might one day look closer and realize it’s precisely what’s preventing you from building any higher up in your life.

Meditating On Death

Published on September 25, 2025

Sometimes, I’ll do a death meditation where I’ll find a comfortable seated position, close my eyes, calm my breath and body… and imagine different scenarios that lead to my death.

I know it sounds crazy, but stay with me here for a minute.

A family member told me today that he got diagnosed with diabetes. And rather than default to meds, he decided he was going to revolutionize his lifestyle and use exercise and a proper diet to fight back. And he’s been fighting back successfully, indeed.

See… it was the IRL diagnosis that lead to the seriousness that lead to the change.

When I open my eyes from those sometimes very serious death meditations—it’s like I’ve taken on a new lease on life—without needing the IRL near death experience.

…And if you can find a way to take very real situations that people face in their very real lives as seriously as they have to—without needing to actually confront the very real situation yourself—you just might prevent that very real situation from making a very real impact on your life altogether.

On Teaching Kids How To Have Difficult Conversations Face-To-Face

Published on September 24, 2025

As a 20+ year martial arts instructor, I’d say less than 5% of the students who quit have told me they were going to do so face-to-face. The other 95% simply ghost—and I get it. It’s difficult to arrange a formal sit down with the instructor. It’s difficult to confront those feelings of maybe let down, disappointment, sadness, frustration, or moving on. It’s difficult to find the right words, to stay composed, or to know for sure if it’s the right decision…

But, the fact that it’s difficult is the point.

Think about what this teaches them… that just because ghosting is easy doesn’t mean it’s right. It teaches them that taking the extra time to arrange a formal sit down is worth it. It teaches them to put words to feelings and how to communicate those feelings to others… as opposed to just getting distracted with another busyness or obligation and hiding. It teaches them how to navigate the awkwardness, tension, and discomfort of being face-to-face with someone you’re in a difficult conversation with so that you can remain present in the space and navigate… without getting overly emotional, shutting down, and running away.

Think about what these lessons would instill in our children as they grow older and get faced with more and more difficult conversational circumstances.

Think about how many times you’ve been ghosted and how it likely was a learned behavior.

Think about how many grown adults could’ve used this kind of lesson as a child and how much different things would be for them (and you) as a grown up…

10 Minutes Per Day Could Be All It Takes To Grow Into A Whole New Life

Published on September 24, 2025

Dear busy person,

10 minutes per day could be all it takes to grow into a whole new life.

When done right, 10 minutes of stretching per day could take you from can’t touch your toes to full split.

When done right, 10 minutes of strengthening per day could take you from uncomfortable in all of your clothes to love the way you feel.

When done right, 10 minutes of inner work per day could take you from self-sabotage and overwhelm to self-love and clarity.

When done right, 10 minutes of reading per day could take you from zero books of interest read per year to ~10 books read per year.

When done right, 10 minutes of writing per day could take you from feeling lost and confused to feeling confident in your life direction.

When done right, 10 minutes of undistracted conversation per day could take you from wanting a separation to wanting to renew your vows.

…What’s life changing isn’t the 10 minutes the one time you do it. It’s the hundredth or thousandth time you’ve done it where the real impact is felt and seen.

The question isn’t a matter of time—we all have 10 minutes in our day to devote towards growth. It’s simply a matter of devotion… how bad do you want to grow (in that domain)? Because if you can’t devote 10 minutes per day towards it, the answer is: not bad enough.

And if that’s the case, maybe you should spend 10 minutes today figuring out why or to which domain you’d like to pivot to…