Month: May 2025

On Being Present With Those Who Suffer Loss

Published on May 15, 2025

A martial arts friend of mine lost his dog last week.

In a post about it, he said, “Honestly, there are no words for what I’m feeling right now. Like I said in an earlier post, if I want to talk about it, I will. But please don’t leave the usual comments—’Sorry for your loss,’ ‘He’s in a better place,’ and so on. I know people mean well, but those words just pick at the wound and make it harder to heal.”

I know this pain all too well with how I ended up losing my dog, Stella.

And while I, too, have no words for getting through this type of pain or how to deal with these types of emotions… what I can say is that presence is the best gift any of us can provide.

And not necessarily presence in the sense of being with him in person… I know that wasn’t what I wanted when I was going through it—I wanted to crawl into a cave and wall myself in.

I mean presence in the sense of keeping them present in your mind and actions. By embodying the best of what each of them represent and passing that forward in the best way you can. By engaging with the material that’s posted and finding ways to celebrate the life of an animal that meant so much. By showing up and being there in person when it’s appropriate and well timed.

Sometimes words just pick at the wound.

But presence… the energy that’s felt when another enters your awareness… when it has the right intention and vibration… is generally received as a healing warmth.

Are You Working ON Your Life Or IN Your Life?

Published on May 13, 2025

As a manager of a martial arts school, it’s my job to work ON the business rather than IN the business.

I need to zoom out of the day-to-day operations and take time to notice patterns, brainstorm initiatives, innovate, improve systems and organization, invest in human resources, refine communication, create exciting futures, plant seeds, study industry trends, find synergistic opportunities, align with like minded people and businesses, help my staff do their jobs in the most brilliant way possible…

But if I’m fully absorbed in the day-to-day operations and I’m answering every phone call, hanging every flyer, calling every lead, booking every appointment, doing every school tour, meeting with every student, teaching every class, chatting with every parent, planning every class, photoshopping every promotion, editing every social media post, and so on…

…I’ll have no time left over to zoom out.

Which isn’t to say as a manager I can’t be doing any of the latter mentioned tasks—I still do many of them and do so joyfully—it’s just to say I can’t do all of them, all of the time.

…As it is for how you should be living your life.

Don’t become so absorbed in the day-to-day that you can’t take time to zoom out every now and again. Find time to work ON your life rather than always being stuck working IN your life. And as counterintuitive as it might sound… and as busy as you might feel… adding time to work ON your life, even when you’re in the heat of working IN it… is precisely how you become UNstuck and LESS busy.

Good luck.

The Duality Of Insight

Published on May 12, 2025

After I upload a quote to MoveMe Quotes, it’s important I tag it with the appropriate topics/themes.

For example, I uploaded a quote today that reads, “You start dying slowly if you do not travel, if you do not read, if you do not listen to the sounds of life, if you do not appreciate yourself. You start dying slowly when you kill your self-esteem; when you do not let others help you. You start dying slowly if you avoid to feel passion and their turbulent emotions; those which make your eyes glisten and your heart beat fast. You start dying slowly if you do not change your life when you are not satisfied with your job, or with your love, if you do not risk what is safe for the uncertain, if you do not go after a dream, if you do not allow yourself at least once in your lifetime, to run away from sensible advice…” ~ Pablow Neruda

Now, obviously this quote is about death—and how not to die slowly—so I tag it “Death Quotes.”

But… more importantly, this quote is about living—and how to truly live before you die—so I tag it “Living Quotes.”

And this duality is an important concept to understand when dealing with insight.

If you want to understand life—study death. If you want to understand death—study life. If you want to understand self-love—study self-hate. If you want to understand self-hate—study self-love. If you want to understand connection—study solitude. If you want to understand solitude—study connection. And so on.

Are you studying the duality of the problem(s) you’re facing in your life?

How Much “Bored Noticing” Do You Do Every Day?

Published on May 11, 2025

An expression you’ll constantly hear a busy person say is something along the lines of: How is it already [insert day of the week/month/year]?!

…Or some type of otherwise reference to how fast time is flying by.

The good thing about this is that it means that person found a way to spend their time that’s making it fly by… and that maybe they’re even having fun.

On the other hand, it also means that person is on track to feeling like they missed out on their life…

Because days turn into weeks which turn into months which turn into years which turn into… eventually… the end of a life where that person feels like they don’t even know what happened.

And that can feel like an ultimate regret: not being present enough of life while it was happening because they were always too focused on what was coming up next…

The antidote to this is presence.

And present moments are simply moments absorbed that are absent of past or future.

And the best way to describe how to add these to your day is to try and add more moments of boredom… moments (or blocks of time) where you have absolutely nothing planned… moments where you get to simply sit… exist… and notice everything about where you’re at right then and there.

Because as lame or as unimportant as it might feel to you in that moment… it’s the very thing your future self would do or give almost anything to re-experience.

Block more moments of “bored noticing“ into your days.

P.s. ICYMI you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week here.

Do You Watch The Full Credit Roll At The End Of Movies?

Published on May 11, 2025

…I started to.

I never used to—because of how long they were.

Now I do—because of how long they are.

See, I now use it as a means to bring up gratitude for the experience I was gifted and try to fully absorb just how many people had to come together to make that gift possible.

…How any thousands and thousands of human hours were invested into the thing I was able to access with the click a button that does nothing short of transport me to another space and time.

It’s truly remarkable when you really think about it.

And so it is in life, too.

…How many thousands and thousands of human hours were invested into creating the reality we have come to know as modern life and how unbelievably long our life’s credit roll will be when it all comes to an end.

…Maybe we should take more time to notice and give credit to those who are going to make it on our roll before time runs out and our roll is created by someone else.

Escaping Work Shouldn’t Be Your Life Goal

Published on May 10, 2025

The goal is to build something that doesn’t need escaping from.

…Because escaping only lasts so long before your innate desire to build something arises again.

And not because we humans love to work—because we don’t.

But because we human crave fulfillment—and what’s worse than work is feeling like you’re living an empty type of existence.

So, back to work we go… because fulfillment is something building provides. Here’s how:

Building is growth—what else is building, but combining a bunch of lesser parts into some type of a greater whole?

Building is contribution—the value that’s added from this lesser parts combination becomes a creation that at the very least, serves you, which helps you to then serve others.

Building is connection/love—connecting parts, connecting minds, connecting resources, connecting ideas, connecting hearts…

Building is significance—whether it’s solely yours to build or you’re a part of a team that’s building somebody else’s dream… you get to leave your fingerprints on something that otherwise wouldn’t exist.

Building is certainty—it allows you to plan, dream, draw, shape, and mold something that starts out abstract and slowly becomes a tangible part of reality.

Building is uncertainty—and then, of course, things never go perfectly according to plan, so you get to adjust, pivot, problem-solve, fire fight, and learn by doing in an unpredictable way.

The real question you need to be grappling with isn’t—how can I escape from this work.

The real question you need to be grappling with is—how can I better incorporate each of these above elements into the work I’m choosing to do?

How Much Do You Study For Life?

Published on May 8, 2025

The good thing about studying is you know how to answer related questions when they arrive…

…Don’t study, and you won’t know the answers.

This makes perfect sense in regards to tests and exams at school… or presentations given at work… but what about how it relates to life?

Why do we place such an emphasis on math… but not financial literacy?

Why do we place such an emphasis on science… but not human relationships?

Why do we place such an emphasis on history… but not mental health and healing past trauma?

Why do we place such an emphasis on sports… but not healthy living or habit building?

Why do we place such an emphasis on art… but not creative self-expression or alchemizing pain?

There are things I just don’t think I’ll ever understand when it comes to how we prioritize certain taught topics over others…

But, one thing I do understand… is that in this world we live in… most of the topics we’re going to get quizzed on by life… are topics we’re going to have to study for on our own.

We’re going to need to read interesting books… seek out life experienced people… have tough conversations… replay, reflect on, and unpack raw experience moments… and, of course, do deliberate and consistent inner work.

Don’t be surprised when life throws you some questions you don’t know the answer to when you haven’t studied.

Remember… school teaches you how to play the game of getting good letter grades.

You need to teach yourself how to play the game of living your best life.