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Month: October 2024

Put A Carrot Into Your Future

Published on October 8, 2024

If your days are dragging by and you regularly feel a sense of misery swelling up within the confines of your day, do yourself a favor and put a carrot into your future.

You know, like a concert or a spa day or a cabin reservation or a flight to a beach or roadtrip with a friend.

Being pulled forward towards something you’re really looking forward to is a much better way forward than trying to force yourself forward by smacking yourself with a stick (or metaphorically getting smacked by a stick from someone else) whenever you need a push in life.

Martial Arts At 63…

Published on October 7, 2024

I had a 63 year old women sign up for Martial Arts classes last week on Monday.

Today, she came back in and told me that it took her until Friday to fully recover from that Monday’s training session. Not because it was inappropriately intense or without proper modifications for her level… but because she had been taking care of a sick family member for years and hadn’t really exercised or stretched or done anything for herself throughout that time.

When I asked her how she felt about the coming class and if there was anything I could do to make it better for her she shook her head and said plainly that her new goal was to recover by Thursday after taking a Monday session.

And y’all… I cried a little bit inside.

P.s. I also published: The 10 Rules of Ikigai (for a Longer and Happier Life) + 6 Bonus Quotes from The Book

Gratitude Notes

Published on October 6, 2024

Some gratitude notes from the past few days:

  • The temperature has been nearly perfect here in Buffalo, NY, USA. Now that it’s autumn, it drops to a cool 50 degrees (Fahrenheit) at night for sleeping and then warms back up to a beautiful 70 during the day for living. This is my absolute favorite weather of the year.
  • I caught a whiff of fresh firewood being burned on one of the above mentioned cool nights recently. It nearly lifted me off the face of the earth it was so heavenly.
  • One of my students shared with me that he works overnights from 11pm – 7am… and that he hates it and hasn’t been sleeping because of it. I sometimes find myself complaining about my work hours… but, after that spoonful of perspective… I suddenly felt super grateful for them.

It’s good to refresh your gratitude list every now and again—with specific things you’ve noticed in your life as of late. And writing them down makes the practice even better.

…What are some gratitude notes from some of your past few days?

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what was posted to MoveMe Quotes last week here.

Don’t Let One Experience Define You

Published on October 6, 2024

When I was around 18 years old, I was selected to give a speech on bullying by the martial arts organization I worked for.

What I knew was that (1) it was for a bully prevention event being hosted within our community, (2) I was to talk about how martial arts can help prevent bullying and those being bullied, and (3) I could give a pretty good on the fly “mat-chat” at the end of a regular martial arts class where I would discuss important topics for a few minutes with students of all ages (which was why I was selected vs other instructors).

What I didn’t know was that (1) it was being hosted at The Buffalo Bills field house (the NFL team) for a large number of community members, (2) I was to give my talk immediately after a local beauty pageant queen whose entire platform was on bullying who had a well-memorized, stat-decorated, story driven speech that would make my “on the fly” thoughts feel juvenile and inadequate, and (3) my strategy of “not worrying about it” and “trusting that I’d figure it out when I got there” would wildly backfire and that I’d blackout when I was handed the mic on stage… and that I’d blabber and bomb it.

…And what I know now (after being interviewed by a local news station and comfortably speaking about the topic for 20ish minutes today) is (1) a whole lot more about bullying, (2) it’s largely because of that above mentioned experience that I do, and (3) one experience doesn’t have to define how all of your future experiences will go.

It’s The Effort That Counts

Published on October 4, 2024

One of my employees just turned 18… and I texted him happy birthday and added a bunch of exclamation points and emojis.

…His mom ordered him a *singing telegram* (a person dressed up in a frog suit who would show up in person and sing happy birthday to him), made an array of homemade cupcakes for him and his coworkers, and got him a stuffed frog as a gift so he could always remember the moment.

Sure, it’s the thought that counts.

But, it’s the effort that gets remembered.

Say Something Nice

Published on October 3, 2024

When I asked two of my co-workers (whom I have weekly meetings with) if there was anything they’d like to add to the meeting minutes or general structure of how we meet… one of them said, “I think we should say something nice to each other…” in a half-joking, mostly serious kind of way.

And you know what…

We’ve been doing it ever since and I think it’s one of the best overall sections of the meeting. And I don’t just mean this in a silly kind of way… I mean this in a connection-forming, bond-deepening, mood-boosting-which-mood-boosts-every-single-other-person-we-interact-with-which-is-excellent-for-business-too… kind of way.

And you know what…

As tacky as it might sound to the super busy, high performing professional… the energy is met by the energy that’s brought. If you put some quality energy and thought into what you say… what you’ll be stunned to find… is that other people will bring some quality energy and thought into what they say as well.

The Difference Between “Better” and “Better Fit”

Published on October 2, 2024

Here’s a hard truth: Sometimes, you won’t be good enough.

Whether it’s for a person, a job, a sports team, etc… it just might be the case that there’s somebody out there who’s a better fit than you.

And I think that’s the correct phrasing that a lot of people mess up.

…It’s not that they’re better than you—that’s too all encompassing of a statement that ignores the fact that we are all each a very complex collection of strengths and weaknesses that make up something completely incomparable one person to the next.

…Did you catch that?

They’re not better than you—they’re a better fit than you.

…In that person’s eyes, in that very specific situation, under those very specific circumstances.

But, that’s okay because you’re a better fit than them in countless other ways.

The problem isn’t you. The problem is that you’re trying to fit your very specific puzzle piece into the wrong place on the board.

Don’t get it twisted: there’s a place for you.

But, the more time you spend trying to shove yourself into the wrong puzzle piece spot, the less time you’ll be able to spend exploring the countless other opportunities that you’ll get to align yourself with and grow into.