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Month: September 2024

When’s The Last Time You Felt A Deep Sense Of Accomplishment?

Published on September 16, 2024

…I got this question emailed to me a few days ago and I’ve been thinking about it on and off ever since.

I can tell you that I feel a general sense of accomplishment at the end of most of my days. I’ll usually have exercised, published one of these short articles, taught some martial arts classes, interacted with great people, and have read a little bit before bed… give or take.

…But, a deep sense of accomplishment?

At least for me, this doesn’t really come from the daily grind tasks… it comes from things that required more from me than I was used to giving. And as I reflected on it, the realization was that the more the thing required, the deeper the accompanying sense of accomplishment.

Which makes sense.

…And brings about an important realization for living life: if we want to feel a deep sense of accomplishment, we must do hard things. Things that require more from us than we’re used to giving… not all of the time (burnout city)… but certainly some of the time.

Because those occasional deep pushes become life highlight reels that you quickly share with people when they’re wondering about your life—when you’re wondering about your life.

And so when was it for you?

…When’s the last time you felt a deep sense of accomplishment?

And how can you get more of that from your life?

Smothering Passion(s) With Dollar Signs

Published on September 15, 2024

My aunt loves sewing.

She loves it so much that she bought a ~$10,000 sewing machine.

And she uses it for every penny she invested into it.

She’ll quilt. She’ll create apparel and gifts. She’ll even create quilted artwork.

When I asked her if she wanted to earn some side hustle money by helping sew patches onto students’ uniforms for the martial arts school I work at… she quickly (and graciously) turned the idea down.

“As soon as I start doing it as a job, I’m going to hate it.” She explained.

And so she doesn’t.

Instead, she follows her curiosities. She challenges herself with interesting projects. She even finds ways to use her unique set of skills to help better the world around her.

Just today, she gave me container with 20 hand made toiletry bags that she wants to fill with toiletries and give to those at local women’s shelters.

Here’s the thing: turning our skills and passion-projects into side hustles can be great… but it can also ruin the thing that lights you up.

Like my aunt, tread that line carefully and dutifully check in with yourself to ensure you’re always fanning the flames of your inner fire—never smothering them with dollar signs or anything else.

Lost Phone

Published on September 14, 2024

One of the parents from the Martial Arts school I teach at got rear ended today.

Everyone was okay, but in the midst of the crash, damage assessment, conversation, information exchange, and chaos from those stressful moments—she lost her phone.

And so she came to the school to use the school’s phone to contact loved ones and cancel all of her credit cards.

She commented, “It’s so sad that in today’s world I have to do this. Everything was on my phone. And if I don’t make these calls now, someone will probably find it and capture all of my sensitive information. It’s so sad.”

And just after she finished cancelling her last card… with the most mysterious / serendipitous timing… her husband called the school and said, “Hey! We found her phone. It was turned into the police station by a good samaritan.”

It was almost as though the universe was giving us a little nudge and was saying… there are a ton of great-intentioned people out there, too.

Living With Ease 101

Published on September 13, 2024

Man. It can be tempting to just throw your hands into the air, curse your circumstances, and blame everyone and the world for not teaching you this or preparing you for that.

Anxiety. Addiction. Discipline. Depression. Relationships. Kids. Property. Taxes. Insurance. Medications. Death. Disease. Loneliness… Each curveball feels like it comes with avengeance, always from new angles, and only with increased intensity.

And you know what?

Nobody is coming to change that.

Nobody is coming to save you.

Nobody is coming to knock on your door and offer you the Living With Ease 101 Guidebook.

And while this might sound grim or deflating… you know what?

At least it will get you out of the mindset of waiting.

Because too many of us are waiting for somebody to come along and do exactly those things… change our frustrating circumstances for the better… save us from curveballs of life… knock on our door and give us the answers to all of our current problems.

The sooner we can acknowledge that we’re waiting to be saved… the sooner we can snap out of it and begin saving ourselves.

Because while, sure, you hopefully have people in your life who are helping you out… ultimately, they have their own curveballs to figure out. And waiting for them to figure out theirs and then figure out yours, too, isn’t a good long-term strategy.

The long-term strategy that works is taking ownership, taking action, learning from errors, and repeating forever onward.

It’ll take just as much time as waiting.

…And return a helluva lot more on your time invested.

Your Dream?

Published on September 12, 2024

What is your dream and where does it come from?

…Does it come from your parents?

…Does it come from your associates/friends?

…Does it come from your social media feeds?

…Does it come from jealousy or resentment?

…Does it come from a feeling of lack or unworthiness?

…Does it come from insights as to what makes you feel alive?

…Does it come deeply and authentically, from you?

Most people’s dreams are infiltrated with ideas that actually aren’t in alignment with their innermost self’s ideas.

…And if you never sit with the question and do some honest inner work, you’ll never know which ideas are whose.

Spontaneous Self-Expression

Published on September 11, 2024

Spontaneous self-expression should be honored as one of the most sacred human experiences we can witness and offer in life.

Be it through quirky or carefree dance, uncontrollable laughter, art of any kind, intimate and/or vulnerable conversation, potent emotional arises… these are the moments when we both truly remember a person and are truly remembered. These are the moments we record into our memory banks that allow us to recall the feeling and image of a person on demand. These are the moments when we/they are truly alive and most impressively connected to the present moment—despite all of the distractions, brainwashing, and suffering that’s constantly trying to yank us away.

It’s a rare and sacred moment both for you and another to experience. Recognize that and honor it for what it is. Surround yourself with more people and in more places where this is the vibe. And don’t ever be that person that kills another person’s spontaneous vibe.

Never “T-Word”

Published on September 10, 2024

My martial arts students and I have an ongoing joke where we, “never use the t-word in class”: tired.

The idea behind it is a classic martial one: our mind will always give up before our body. And so if we can discipline our mind (to push through tired, pain, and fatigue), we’ll be able to better push our body (outside of their comfort zones and into zones of growth).

It’s important, however, not to carry this mentality with you 100% of the time and to, contradictorily, “never use the t-word” only some of the time.

Stepping onto the mats for a martial arts class is a great time to embody this mindset.

When you’re getting ready for bed, not so much.

It’s mindfulness that you should carry with you 100% of the time.

This can be tricky to explain because if you’re not careful, mindfulness can unknowingly turn into mindlessness.

When we’re mindful, we’re intimately in tune with our physiological state. We know when we actually need to rest and when we actually need to push.

When we’re in tune with our ego, however, we start to make mindless decisions—such as skipping workouts because we’re feeling lazy or using long days as an excuse to eat poorly or letting screen time infiltrate our schedules and take over higher priority tasks.

The post-task feeling meditation can help clear things up.

Simply imagine how you’re feeling at the end of a designated task—do you regret doing it (because your exhaustion levels were exacerbated and are truly going to effect the rest of your day/week) or are you glad you did it (because you beat the schemes of the ego)?