Month: August 2024

Figuring It Out As You Go

Published on August 9, 2024

If your goal is to wander, get lost, find your way back around, lean into serendipity, and surrender to the universe—then by all means, figure it out as you go.

If your goal is to arrive at a specific destination, in a timely manner, following an optimized route—then, figuring it out as you go is a bad strategy. You would want to invest in research, planning, and coaching instead.

We all have goals in life.

And while you might think one of the above mentioned ways might be better for attaining any one of your life goals than the other… the reality is it’s probably better to approach all of your goal pursuits from more of a hybrid perspective.

All optimized and no wander leaves little room for serendipity, awe, or surprise.

All wander and no optimized leads to missed targets and wasted time, energy, and effort.

Take a look at some of your life goals. Where do you land on this spectrum?

Start The Timer

Published on August 8, 2024

When dealing with a problem, it’s helpful to list clearly what’s within your control and what’s outside of your control in regards to its resolution.

Then, with everything that’s within your control, an excellent second step is to do your part and, as Ryan Holiday would say, start the timer on doing those things.

It’s likely that after you do your part, there’s going to be another part that’s outside of your control, that’ll take time to unfold, which is exactly the timer being referred to.

Today, for example, I’m having an issue with my phone bill.

I’m getting charged for a phone that was supposed to be covered by a promo.

What’s outside of my control? Fixing the bill myself.

What’s inside my control? Talking to a representative who can fix my bill.

The longer I wait to do my part and act on what’s within my control, the more the problem will linger and agitate my mind. I also know that getting problems like these resolved can be royal pains in the butt:

“Please hold while we transfer you 5x to the proper representative.” “What was your order ID? What was the location ID? Did you take a picture of that promo?” “We can’t help you with that problem here, you need to go to this other store.”

…And procrastinating is a highly tempting option.

But, if we want the problem resolved, we need to start the timer. And looking at problem resolution this way can help. The longer we wait to act on what’s within our control, the more our problems will compound. Keep it focused. Get the ball out of your court. Start the timer.

Work Meetings

Published on August 7, 2024

Work meetings are to a business what GPS is to a traveler.

Each business has a direction and a target. The meetings keep us heading in the right direction to reach the target. Along the way, however, things change.

…People change, resources change, clients change, markets change, situations change, etc.

Without a meeting of the minds of those who run the businesses, it’s inevitable that their direction and ultimately, the target they hit, skew.

Work meetings discuss recent wins (so as to reinforce and double down on them), recent failures (so as to learn and adjust from them), upcoming events (so as to plan proactively for them), and overall strategy (so as to further improve and develop the actions taken by the team), amongst other things.

We’re all familiar, if not intimately so, with work meetings.

My question for you is: how familiar are you with family meetings? Spousal meetings? Muse meetings?

…Because just as work meetings are to a business what GPS is to the traveler, so too are family meetings to the family or spousal meetings to the spousal relationship or muse meetings to the art/creative gifts you share with the world.

Without them, deviations from the once clear direction and target become inevitable.

It’s nothing short of impressive how much time, energy, and resources we pour into work meetings.

…Maybe it’s time to appropriate some of that time, energy, and resource into other (assumingely equally if not more important) dimensions of our lives as well.

The Greater The Rush, The Greater The Regret

Published on August 6, 2024

To rush implies a present desire to get to a future moment as quickly as possible.

…Which happens at the expense of the present moment in proportion to how much you’re rushing.

In other words, big rushing = big dissociation from the present moment… little rushing = little dissociation.

Living only happens in the present.

And while, yes, it’s still possible (and common) to dissociate from the present moment even when you’re not rushing—it can’t be ignored that not rushing is a necessary precursor to presence.

The pickle so many of us find ourselves in is that modern society is built upon a foundation of rush.

We must hurry to learn—so we can get into a competitive, name-brand college.

We must hurry to earn—so we can impress our peers with our lifestyle.

We must hurry to settle—so we can cross house, spouse, kids, and dog off our life checklists.

And so on.

The problem with this is that the foundation of life is built upon a foundation of presence—moments where you truly feel the experience of being alive.

And when the foundation of society is built on a foundation in conflict with that of life… we can have problems—namely, ends filled with lots of regret.

But, if we can break away from this societal mold and create our own little foundation of presence in our lives… we can change the direction of our lives drastically.

P.s. I wrote a guide to help you live a life with less regret. More on that here.

Buying Life

Published on August 5, 2024

Money is not the currency of life—energy is.

The greater your energy levels, the more living you get to “buy.”

The lower your energy levels, the less you’ll be able to afford before crashing and disassociating from life altogether.

One of the unique modern day dilemmas we face is that screens can stimulate us awake for extended periods of time even though we’re exhausted and crave sleep.

I’ve been experiencing this first hand.

I’ll be absolutely exhausted at the end of a long day, crash on the couch, and stay up WAY past my normal bed time watching a show or YouTube series simply because the stimulant of the screen distracts me from noticing and acting on my exhaustion.

…Which causes me to borrow energy from the next day (because I don’t get a full and proper sleep), which leads to less life I’ll be able to “buy,” which hopefully doesn’t lead to more screen time but likely will, which perpetuates the problem.

If you want to get more out of life, don’t obsess over hoarding money, obsess over maximizing your energy levels each and every day.

We buy life in energy we can bring to present moments—not in money we’re going to spend “one day.”

P.s. Here’s the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week.

New Reference Points

Published on August 4, 2024

Last night I saw Richard III—the Shakespearian play—performed by a crew of high school students, one of whom was a martial arts student of mine.

I was blown away.

Not only by the memorization of their lines, the acting, the setup, etc—but by the raw passion and confident expression that these 16 and 17 year olds were able to cultivate and showcase.

What really brought this home for me were the final moments after the play concluded when the organizer came on stage and gave the audience and performers an opportunity to interact.

“What words come to mind when you think about what you saw tonight?” she asked the audience.

“Confidence!” “Passionate!” “Moving!” Were some of the things the audience shouted.

“What words help define what you tried to bring to this performance tonight?” she asked the performers.

“Self Belief!” “Commitment!” “Going all in!” Were some of the things the performers responded with.

And what the organizer said was that those were called, “New Reference Points.”

Points that, once lived, become evidence-based aspects of their identity that they can reference and call back upon at any point of their life from there forward.

Because having confidence or being passionate or going all in on self-expression, for those students, were no longer abstract thoughts that linger in the back of their minds as they self-consciously worry and wonder about what other people will think of them.

…They’re real parts of their identity that were awakened, allowed to emerge from the depths, and will forever hold a space in (their) reality.

Inner work prompt: What type of experience(s) would you try that would give you new reference points?

Don’t Bury Your Head In The Sand

Published on August 3, 2024

One common rebuttal to joy, optimism, and positivity is, “but there’s so much suffering, injustice, and hate—how could you?”

But, this same logic can be used to argue the inverse: “But there’s so much light, beauty, and love—how could you feel sad, anxious, and hateful?”

What’s important is simply not to live in only one world or the other; to not bury your head in the sand towards any of the sides.

What’s important is to help alleviate the suffering, act against injustice, and deploy the opposite of hate… while also soaking in the plentiful light, admiring all the world’s beauty, and allowing yourself to feel and express love.

What’s important is to remain present, open-hearted, and brave. To not become so overly immersed in only one aspect of the world that you can no longer see the opposite. Because the one aspect helps deepen the appreciation and understanding of the other just as the other helps build the same for the one.

Lean into it all. Don’t bury your head in the sand. Life is found throughout.