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Month: July 2024

The Art of Being *Actually* Helpful

Published on July 3, 2024

I have two baby trees growing in my front yard.

They planted themselves and all I did was not mow them dead while cutting the lawn. And it’s been about a year now.

The one is growing in solid. Upright and sturdy. Tons of branches and leaves. About 5 feet tall.

The other is… not so much. He’s having a hard time staying upright as of late. He’s about 4 feet tall and was toppled over almost in full, laying sadly on the lawn when I looked out the front window the other day.

So, I propped him up with a makeshift crutch and he was good again.

Until today, when I looked out and saw that he’s starting to lean the other way now.

I want to help as little as possible because I know it’s through this process that he’ll deepen his roots. Which, evidently is the main difference between the first tree and this one. Mr. 4 foot either reached a little too high, too fast with his branches and/or didn’t invest enough time on the deeper, wider reach of his roots.

Of course, I can’t deepen his roots for him and the more I add crutches, the less he’ll invest in root stability himself. On the other hand, I can’t just leave him toppled over… so there’s this delicate balance going on of letting him get knocked around by the elements and making sure he doesn’t topple over and die completely.

…An act I think about often as it relates to life.

There’s trying to help… and then there’s letting people help themselves.

The art of being actually helpful is in balancing these efforts mindfully.

Important Reminders For Jugglers

Published on July 2, 2024

Some reminders from my friend, Nat, to help you along your way:

  • “Your inner doom & gloom thoughts and feelings have no power over you unless you give it away.”
  • “It’s possible to make mistakes and still be accepted and valued for who you are.”
  • “It’s also possible to not be at your best and still make an impact.”

In the world of my career, there is no “done.”

There is always something else that either needs to be fixed, needs to be done, or needs to be done better. It’s a constant juggling act where there are many balls in the air… and the moment you start focusing too much on one, the other(s) start to drop. And when you shift your focus to the dropped ones, the ones you were focused on before start to drop. And so on.

…Maybe you can relate?

Nat’s reminders above are powerful ones and shouldn’t be taken lightly.

…Yes, keep improving your juggling techniques and awareness.

…Yes, take your work seriously.

…Yes, do the best you can.

But, also remember to give yourself some grace. Remember that you’re imperfect and are doing the best you can. Remember that you can make mistakes and still make a difference.

…Remember that your mental health is more important than your work. And the more you take care of yourself, the better you’ll be at juggling.

P.s. Nat also does resistance release sessions to facilitate healing self-sabotage tendencies. More on that here.

Hometown Exploration

Published on July 1, 2024

I’m going to a martial arts conference this weekend to learn from some of the best martial artists, martial arts school owners, and associated like-minded people in my industry.

A question I’ve been reflecting on to prepare is, “How can I optimize my time there?”

I’ve been thinking about how I can maximize the number of sessions I take… the number of people I might meet… the number of opportunities I might capitalize on and uncover…

And it got me thinking…

…Why don’t I (we) do this for our everyday life more often?

At least for me… I can’t think of the last time I sat down and asked myself, “How can I optimize my time here, in my hometown, this weekend?”

Granted, most of the time all I want to do is nothing (lol).

But, every now and again, I think it’d be well worth the effort to look at our own hometown with fresh eyes… as though we were only visiting for one weekend and wanted to soak up as much of the area as possible.

Inner Work Prompt: Imagine friends were coming to visit your hometown for one weekend and they asked if you would give them the optimized experience. What kind of itinerary would you prepare? Why not do that for yourself and your own family?