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Month: July 2024

My Divorced Parents Are… In A Band?

Published on July 31, 2024

After getting divorced when I was around 11 years old and both having gotten remarried, my mom and my dad announced this week that they’re playing together in a band, at what’s going to be their official public debut, on my birthday, this month.

To add a little more context, my parents were in a folk band with several other friends when I was a child, that slowly fell apart as life happened to the band mates. Fast forward to around two decades after their divorce, and my dad reached out to my mom to see if she wanted to join a little band practice thing he started in his basement with a few other friends. She eventually agreed. The band grew. The practices continued and the sound kept improving. And now, today, they’re ready to share what they’ve created with the public and jam again.

The reason I share this with you is to remind you that when you can confront your pains, learn to forgive and find common ground, evolve/grow, and lead with compassion and understanding… you get to move on and do other things with your life. Things that don’t revolve around the ruins of the past, but feature new growth that sprouts into the future.

P.s. This is their announcement poster and band name (lol).

Plan How You Recharge Or Recharge Will Do It For You

Published on July 30, 2024

If you don’t plan recharge intensity accordingly, you’ll most likely compensate for intense busyness in other, maybe less obvious ways.

Going back to my strategy game example from yesterday, and when I think about the spectrum of activities I might do to appropriately recharge from an intensely busy day, this seems to me to be a higher intensity recharge task. Versus working on my side hustle, for example, which can feel very much like continued work/busyness and is maybe something I’d be less likely to do when I’m coming off some of my most busy days.

And when I think about people who lead the busiest lifestyles, I tend to see a similar pattern, where the busier they are the more mind-numbing types of tasks they tend to seek. Things like video gaming, partying, drinking, clubbing, TV binging, doing drugs, and so on.

Whereas people who balance recharge intensity more proportionally tend to come off their days with more energy for (additional) mind-stimulating types of tasks. Things like working on their side hustle or passion project(s), spending quality time playing with their children, having more involved conversations with loved ones, doing chores to help around the house, exercise, prepare dinner, and so on…

Worth thinking about is what types of activities you typically default to at the end of your days… more mind-numbing or more mind-stimulating types of tasks? The answer could reveal a change you might want to make to the former parts of your days.

Fill Your Head Wisely

Published on July 29, 2024

I played a strategy game yesterday for a few hours as I was intensely recharging.

Last night, I dreamt almost exclusively about the gameplay.

It was an isolated yet stark reminder that what you choose to fill your head with, acts as the raw materials with which your mindset and interpretation of life are formed.

It’s critically important to remember—now more than ever in the history of mankind—to choose what you fill you head up with wisely.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can see the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

Recharge Intensity

Published on July 28, 2024

Yesterday, I had an intense non-stop day.

The martial arts school I teach at crossed 35 years in business and we hosted an open house event to celebrate. This involved a ton of setup, nonstop social interactions, and of course, lots of martial arts instruction. The team and I had to get there extra early and stay extra late.

Immediately afterwards, I was hosting a going away party for two of my martial arts instructors who are leaving to college. I had about 20 people over to my house and literally repeated the same thing from the morning. A ton of setup, nonstop social interactions, and—rather than dynamic martial arts instruction—a bunch of food prep, cooking, and cleaning took its place.

When it was all said and done, the day went from 7am – 11pm.

…Which was when I had to go to the computer to write my daily post for you beautiful people—which took me until after midnight.

…In no way am I complaining about any of this—it was a phenomenal day.

It’s simply a reminder to myself and to maybe a handful of you that when planning intense busyness, you mustn’t forget to plan proportionally intense recharging.

This picture quote I uploaded to MoveMe Quotes this week acted as a foreshadowing and personal reminder for what was to come this weekend.

Because today, it was a whole bunch of nothing. A day when I could recharge in proportion to how much I worked yesterday. A day when I can do as I please… relax or move as I wish… refuel, recover, and prepare for whatever will come tomorrow.

Are You Invested In These?

Published on July 28, 2024

Sometimes it can be hard enough just keeping track of yourself and your own damn life.

But, when you can become a person who pays attention to other peoples’ lives and can do something about helping them live theirs…

You’ll likely notice your own life becomes easier.

…Which from a surface level sounds counterintuitive because time and energy spent helping others is time and energy you can no longer spend on yourself.

But the catch is that time and energy spent on others isn’t ever really spent… it’s invested.

And the ROI is the time and energy that person might want to invest back into you… multiplied by the number of times they choose to do so throughout the rest of your lives.

Let that sink in for a second.

…Not every investment will give a positive ROI, though.

Which is why boundaries, inner work, and having standards are so important.

But, when they do yield a positive ROI… boy, do they.

Never underestimate or be selfish about these almighty and powerful investments.

There’s So Much Already Here

Published on July 27, 2024

The more I learn, the more I also need to remember.

And my memory definitely isn’t all that and a bag of chips.

I can’t tell you how many times I learned something new from something I already read before. Or how many times I resurfaced an idea that I knew, but just hadn’t thought about in a long time.

It’s a mistake to think that once you’ve learned something it’s there forever and you can move on.

The more we learn, the more space we need to create for those new files, and the deeper those other files need to go into storage. We only have so much short-term memory space.

Taking time to resurface those files can be just as valuable, if not more so, than writing new ones.

Be humble in your approach to ongoing education. Never assume you know. Especially in today’s world where there are endless files being written into our brain’s storage every waking moment of every single day. Reread old books. Retake classes & seminars. Listen more carefully to the people you feel you’ve already learned plenty from…

There’s so much to resurface that’s already there.

The Signal Of The Pain

Published on July 25, 2024

In reply to my recent post on pain, a reader asked, “I think you were talking more about metaphorical pain, but in regards to physical pain I’m curious what your thoughts are. If I play basketball and my feet hurt, as long as it’s within reason, the solution is to play more basketball. What do you think? Is the pain the solution?”

My response: It might not always be as simple as keep playing basketball—although it could be.

I look at physical pain as a signal. A signal that’s trying to show me something about either my body or the thing I exposed my body to.

When I would run, I would often get spasms in my neck/shoulder area. That was a signal that my neck/shoulders needed more stretching—both before the run and as an ongoing preventive measure.

If I would workout and it caused excessive soreness… it was a signal that the muscle was intensely challenged and needed more attention/reps to be built up.

If an exercise caused injury, however, then a deeper exploration was needed. Deadlift, for example, is an exercise I had to remove from my routine altogether. I would repeatedly throw out my back regardless of how clean my technique was. This was a signal that I just had an injury-prone lower back and deadlift wasn’t appropriate for me. So, I opted for bodyweight and light/moderate resistance exercises instead.

And so, yes, I would still say the cure for the pain is in the pain—not to say we keep doing the same things blindly—but because it’s only by exploring and interpreting the signal of the pain that we can determine the appropriate path forward.