We compare ourselves with others so we can figure out where we are and where we want to be.
We see somebody:
- Fit and decide we want to be strong like them.
- Popular and decide we want to act like them.
- Witty and decide we want to talk like them.
While this isn’t inherently bad (having role models is great), there’s more to comparison than is often discussed. Here are three reminders:
1) Context impossible. As much as you might think you know about a person (that might make them a “suitable” person to be compared to) there’s still an ocean of context that even they don’t fully understand—which makes their journey and yours forever un-duplicatable.
2) It creates a discontent gap. The further ahead the person you compare yourself to, the longer you’ll have to travel to get to where you decided you want to be—which ultimately results in discontent for the duration of that journey… as opposed to following a content curiosity that stems from deep within your own being.
3) It disregards the direction that comes from your inner compass. The more you try to look, act, and talk like others—the less you’ll end up looking, acting, and talking like yourself. To spend time with yourself—reflecting, journaling, learning, questioning, experimenting—is to invest life energy into yourself that eventually translates into “identity confidence.” This is how you further embrace the unique person that you are in a way that comparison only drains.
P.s. I created a 30 Day Guide that will help you tune into your inner compass and build unshakable confidence in your life’s direction. More here.