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Month: February 2024

“What’s Wrong With Me?!”

Published on February 8, 2024

…A student of mine exclaimed frustratingly while trying to coordinate her body to do some martial arts moves that she kept confusing.

To which I replied with something along the lines of: “Nothing is wrong with you. You’re learning. Slow down and stop thinking that anything is wrong with you. You’re on precisely the right path. It’s the rushing—your desire to get it correct now—that’s causing the confusion. Calm your mind and take it slow; patience is required for growth.”

So many times in life, what’s wrong with us is the fact that we think something is wrong with us.

And it’s precisely those beliefs that become the self-fulfilling prophecies that (continue to) make things go wrong.

What if—now stay with me here on this—nothing was wrong with you?

What if you were precisely where you were meant to be, as you are?

What if all of the people and things that were telling you that something was wrong with you were in fact… the ones and things that were wrong?

…What if you lived your life thinking you were… just right?

P.s. 48 Brianna Wiest Quotes from The Mountain Is You on Self-Sabotage and Healing

Mechanic #1 vs Mechanic #2

Published on February 7, 2024

I asked two mechanics the same question today: “My check engine light came on for no apparent reason… everything seems to be working fine… could you do a diagnostic check to see what’s causing it?”

Mechanic #1 quickly said, “For $135 an hour I can. And it’s not as simple as just plugging in a diagnostic device—it could take one to four hours.”

Mechanic #2 said, “Sure. Can you bring it in Friday? It should only take us a few minutes to figure out what’s causing the light to turn on and we can decide how to proceed from there.”

…Guess which mechanic I’m choosing?

Not just for this time around… but for all my future time arounds?

And I bet if I wiped all of Mechanic #1’s car knowledge and he was in the same boat I was in… he’d choose Mechanic #2, too.

When you’re in business… you’re there to do business—I get it.

But, when you treat customers like numbers and not people who would like to be treated just like you would if you were in the same situation… I suspect it won’t be long until there won’t be too many “numbers” left for you to do business with.

Before The Fact

Published on February 6, 2024

Below a screenshot of my cell phone’s home screen (here’s the link if it doesn’t show):

My cell phone home screen.

…See that big ol’ Screen Time block at the bottom?

That’s an intentional effort of mine to increase my screen time awareness so that I can deliberately work to decrease my screen time usage.

Before, I would get one push notification each week summarizing my screen time averages—but it was after the fact... after the usage was done and all I could hope to do was be more aware the next week so as to reduce it before the next push notification was sent out.

And, as you might expect, this strategy didn’t really change much week to week.

But, ever since I added that big ‘ol Screen Time block to the bottom of my home screen, my screen time has dropped remarkably.

…And it’s all because I’m getting reminders before the fact.

Seth Godin once said that the best way to make any long term change is with enough short term feedback.

Most of what we do every day is already programmed into our lifestyle as habits. If we want to change that unconscious programming… we need to deliberately and proactively and creatively find ways to consciously remind ourselves to do those new things that go against our current unconscious programming.

Otherwise, the programming will prevail and we’ll keep looking back—after the fact—wondering why the heck nothing is changing.

P.s. Need help programming new habits into your life? My 30 day guide will help. Details here.

What Feels Alive For Me Now?

Published on February 5, 2024

…This is a question that guides my friend Nat’s life.

Whenever he’s presented with an opportunity or comes to a fork in the road or simply notices a rise in unpleasant emotion—he sits with this question.

Because what felt alive yesterday, isn’t necessarily what’s going to feel alive today.

And what felt alive for a decade, isn’t necessarily what’s going to feel alive for the coming one.

And this is an important realization to have.

For something to feel alive, it has to feel the way it feels to look into the eyes of a baby—your baby.

Because following the natural flow of what feels alive isn’t about being flaky; it’s not just about doing things when you feel like it. It’s about honoring the evolving nature of your baby and helping your baby realize it’s full, complete potential.

…Because your baby isn’t just one task, one person, one job, one career, one dream, etc… your baby is the living embodiment of all of those things wrapped into one.

Just as your child will have ever evolving aptitudes, interests, curiosities, skills, and talents… so, too, will your life be an ever evolving portfolio of aptitudes explored, interests investigated, curiosities followed, skills built, and talents developed.

But, if you ignore the call to what feels alive… if you suppress the feelings that are telling you that something feels dead… if you keep pushing forward while refusing to check your internal compass…

Don’t be surprised when you end up somewhere that’s filled with regret.

P.s. My 30 day guide can help ensure you don’t live a life that ends with regret. Details here.

What You See Is What You Look For

Published on February 4, 2024

Walking into Target today, I had a thought that I’d try to commit as many random acts of kindness as I could.

…Boy did that change the shopping experience from what it could’ve been/usually is.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

Binge Reel Watching

Published on February 3, 2024

I kind of beat myself up today after spending an hour and a half watching reels after a long work week.

Then I remembered how I’ve essentially eliminated binge-reel-watching altogether for every other day of my week—for over a month now.

And I reminded myself that, like with food, it’s okay to have a cheat day. The goal isn’t perfection… it’s healthy.

And one cheat day doesn’t offset six healthy days. In fact, it helps keep the mind balanced… sane… satiated.

And so, like with cheat days, maybe you can try aiming for a six-to-one ratio with mindless media.

…It’s the daily cheats that turn into habits that turn into huge time sucks and mind melting that really cause the big problems.

But, one cheat per week keeps time in your pocket, discipline built, and mental resources available for higher level priorities.

…Without sucking the joy and pleasure that comes from the occasional binge.

Making vs Copy-Pasting

Published on February 2, 2024

Being the manager of a business, a big part of what I do is sales.

Fortunately for me, I’m wholeheartedly in love with what I sell.

Also fortunately for me, I’ve been able to learn from great salesmen who are also wholeheartedly in love with what they sell.

Many years ago, however, when I was first moving into sales from a teaching role, I made the mistake of thinking salesmen had to look a certain way, talk a certain way, and had to have a certain personality flair about them that was… in my mind… largely innate.

And in my mind, if my identity didn’t match that identity type… I couldn’t do it. After all, they were great, they looked the part, they were able to walk that innate walk… Who was I in comparison? …And it was that self-limiting belief that made me lack major confidence.

But, after enough training, trial-and-error, and growth… I slowly started to settle into my own style. I took what I liked from the greats, discarded what I didn’t, added my own unique takes, mixed in thoughts from other greats, and eventually landed on a style that I’m super comfortable and confident with.

This is the learning curve when it comes to developing any new skill.

As I reflect on this, the big takeaway for me is to avoid at all costs trying to copy and paste exactly what you see in another. This will only drain precious life energy that you could otherwise be using to invest in the real game-changing task: making the thing your own.