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Month: December 2023

Opportunistic Moments

Published on December 10, 2023

Today, I was responsible for leading a group of 75 Martial Artists through one of the biggest days of their lives—their Black Belt and higher degree test.

And one thing I’ve learned about approaching big days—both as a leader and performer—is to not think of them as such. But rather to think about them in terms of opportunistic moments instead.

The weight of “big days” can not only stifle you, but steal you away from the very moments you’d most want to remember that are, by definition, housed inside big days. It’ll have you thinking about what’s next, what’s later, what can’t be forgotten, what just happened, what went wrong, and what could’ve been better. Leaving you, mentally, everywhere except where you are.

Bring yourself back by asking yourself questions like: what do I have the opportunity to do right now?

…Is this a moment where I get to show grit, intensity, and spirit? Or is this a moment where I get to rest, recharge, and rehearse?

…Is this a moment where I get to perform in the spotlight? Or is this a moment where I get to cheer for the ones who are?

…Is this a moment to conserve energy and go half-way? Or is this a moment where I get to go all in and really test your limits?

Get better at living inside moments—both on “big days” and normal ones—and suddenly, your days won’t feel so heavy and intimidating. And you might just find yourself feeling lighter, more present, and ultimately… more alive.

Lie For Me?

Published on December 8, 2023

Somebody asked me if I would lie for them today.

When I explained that I wouldn’t and why, I also included the following line to serve as a reminder/ forewarning… a line that didn’t come from some picture quote post I saw somewhere on the internet… but from a place of experience learned the hard way. I said:

Telling a lie now moves difficulty into your future; telling the truth now moves difficulty into your past.

Whenever you find yourself on the fence about whether or not you should tell the truth or lie… keep this in mind. And if that’s not enough, remember that the future difficulty compounds vs the now difficulty because of the accumulating guilt, lie remembering, performing/acting, and follow up questioning.

…Sometimes—oftentimes—difficult now is actually the much easier option.

Enough Thinking For Today

Published on December 7, 2023

…That’s what I tell myself when I collapse into my bed at night.

…And I open a book and start reading as soon as I can manage.

My thought is this: we spend every waking moment of our day thinking… trying to stay one step ahead of what’s next; solving problems; avoiding distractions and staying productive; imagining future possibilities; reflecting and learning from past experiences; keeping our priorities prioritized; remembering to eat enough food and drink enough water; entertaining stupid random stuff that we can’t help… etc

And collapsed in bed, exhausted, shouldn’t be another time for us to keep doing all of the above.

In fact, continuing to think critically and solve problems from your day before you sleep is an excellent way to lose sleep and wake up more tired the next day leaving you with less energy to solve the very problems you thought thinking about in bed would help.

Here’s the strategy: don’t tell your mind to stop thinking—this doesn’t work. Just like trying not to think of Pink Elephant doesn’t work. Give your mind something to guide it. Something that can carry it forward on a ride and relieve it of its incessant nature to problem solve and replay experiences. Books do it for me.

…Until your eyes are so heavy that you can’t help but put the book down and pass out.

Collapsed on your bed = enough thinking for today. Try it.

P.s. If something randomly pops into your head that I don’t want to forget, I write it down or record it on a note app. Trying to remember things before you sleep will stimulate you back to a wakeful state.

Just Vibes

Published on December 6, 2023

The first time I heard the song Who Do You Love by ARTY feat. Rozzi, was when I was dead in the middle of running my first ultramarathon.

…Like dead.

…In the middle… maybe not even half way.

…While running a 50k in the desert.

And right before I heard it… it was dusty and rugged and mute. And I was alone. And I was hurting. And I was trying to quiet the deflating chatter of my mind. And I was definitely questioning my life choices.

And then… I heard the song faintly in the distance. And then I heard it getting progressively louder behind me. And then I was starting to wonder if I was hallucinating… Until, lo and behold, a dude on his bike with a bluetooth speaker strapped to his basket passed by with the song blasting.

And the song filled me with the life that was quickly exiting my body in that moment. And it gave me the mental patching I needed to hold more of that life inside as I continued on my way… like a mechanic expertly patching a pierced tire that was in danger of soon hitting rim to road. And I even got a boost that allowed me to pump my arms to the beat, crack a smile, and shout him out as he passed.

And not even a minute later… he was gone.

…Peddled off into the dusty desert going wherever his wind blew him.

…And I never saw him again.

And this was all it took to give me the critical boost I needed to carry on with my fight.

…No interaction. No major endeavor. No fancy tactics.

…Just vibes.

Painted Rocks

Published on December 5, 2023

“It’s actually pretty gratifying.”

…A friend of mine said about her painted rock side hustle.

What started out simply as a hobby that entailed collecting rocks on her morning dog walks that she would then paint by night as a creative/ calming outlet… slowly turned into a business name, with chic branding, and small pop-up stands.

…Not with the intent of massively scaling and changing the world.

But, with the intent of sharing her unique gift with those who cared.

And the funny thing about sharing gifts with those who care…

…Is that it’s actually pretty gratifying for one’s self.

Noticing What Isn’t Mentioned

Published on December 4, 2023

I found a small 2 inch by 4 inch piece of paper hidden inside one of the books I’m currently reading.

On it were two fill-in-the-blank sentences with handwritten answers by, presumably, Becca—who wrote her name sideways in the bottom left corner of the paper.

The first sentence started with, “What I really admire about you is…” which was filled in with the following answer: “…how you care for your friends when their front teeth are missing :)”

The second sentence started with, “At work, you are great at…” which was filled in with, “…always having a warm and pleasant demeanor.”

…I’ll sometimes do this exercise in schools when giving a presentation where I ask the student audience if any of them have a best friend. Most will raise their hands. Then I’ll ask if any of them can tell me why that person is their best friend. What follows are usually things like:

  • Is kind
  • Is funny
  • Is helpful
  • Spends time with me
  • Cheers me up when I’m sad
  • Has the same interests as me
  • And so on…

What’s worth pointing out in both of these above examples is what isn’t mentioned. Neither Becca nor ANY of the student body groups (I’ve spoken to so far) said anything about:

  • Is rich
  • Is (insta)famous
  • Wears brand name clothes
  • Never makes mistakes
  • Has the freshest Nikes
  • Has the newest iPhone
  • And so on…

At the end of the day… what people remember about you isn’t what you bought, how well known you were, how “perfect” you were…

What they remember is your character, your personality, the actions you took…

…Don’t let List #2 make you forget it.

Cut And Dried [Poem]

Published on December 3, 2023

I ask you
About your tattoos
Like everybody else
Probably… Obviously…

But why then
Change so visibly
If not to have people
Question… Ask…

Or does ink
Cut and dried outwardly
Do something
Visceral… Inwardly…

Nearly every inch
Recolored; redrawn; recreated
As if away from
Blank… Incomplete…

You suddenly smile
And there’s nothing I can see
That isn’t already
Finished… Complete…

Too late though
Your lines and your patterns say
Asked and answered
Inked… Dyed…

Another deal sealed
And the thought of us together
Filling in the blanks
Cut… Dried…

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.