Month: December 2023

On Going Out And Dancing

Published on December 16, 2023

“I saw him dancing on the dance floor on New Year’s Eve with two empty champagne glasses and I knew I had to meet him.”

This is what one of the parents told me when I asked her how she and her husband met.

She added, “I wasn’t even going to go out that night, but my friends forced me.”

And there they were, coming up on their 33rd New Year’s Eve together.

I love this story for two reasons.

One, it’s a wonderful reminder to dance. To put yourself out there and worry less about what other people think. It’s exactly how you eventually attract the ones who see you for who you are… not for who you go on pretending to be.

Two, it’s a wonderful reminder to do things—even when you sometimes don’t want to. I’m the type who can stay home for an entire weekend, alone, and love every second of it. And a lot of the time, that’s exactly what I’ll do. But, when I make plans to go out or do something fun (which I often have to remind myself to do), I try to stick to them. Because I know that while staying in can serve a valuable purpose… going out can, too.

…And what a shame it would be to miss the chance to meet the person who may very well lead to the adventure that lasts a lifetime.

Less, But Better

Published on December 15, 2023

I don’t know you.

But, if I had to take a guess, I’d say you generally feel pretty busy.

…Like there aren’t enough hours in the day.

…Like you’re constantly juggling more balls than you can manage.

…Like no matter what you do, it isn’t enough and you always feel like you’re falling short.

This is the modern way… Hustle more. Do more. Make more. Maximize. Outperform.

And if it is… how’s that been going for you?

…Constantly stressed? Always overwhelmed with anxiety? Feeling insecure and wanting to drown in distractions anytime and always?

What if in 2024… you tried a new approach?

What if in 2024… you tried doing… less?

What if in 2024… instead of trying to juggle seven balls… you hyper focused on five instead?

What if instead of adding to your life… which is what most people will undoubtedly try to do with their new year resolution(s)… what if you tried subtracting from your life so you could focus more of your precious life energy on what’s essential?

…What if instead of giving essential tasks what’s leftover after long, hard days, you gave those tasks some of the best energy of your days?

What if this next year was your year for less… but, better?

What if you spent a few minutes today planning out what that might look like and started… tomorrow instead?

When Freedom Is Bad For Goals

Published on December 14, 2023

Having the freedom to do something “anytime” is the same as having something to do that has zero deadline.

And I don’t know about you, but when I’m assigned a project that has zero deadline… I back-burner that sucker until further notice.

…Until I have more time to do non-urgent things.

And I don’t know about you, but “more time to do non-urgent things” rarely, if ever, just pops into my schedule.

…And I don’t know about you, but I’m rarely in the mood to catch up on additional work when it does. It’s during those times that I’m usually most sick of work and want to unplug and do anything BUT more work.

So, I don’t know about you, but with 2024 approaching and new year resolutions on mind… I’d say we take away “anytime” from our goal timelines.

As I reflect back on 2023… I think it’s precisely this freedom to do things how and when I want to do them—without needing to report to anyone else or hit any specific deadlines—that has held me back.

And it’s funny because it’s not like this is news to me, nor do I think it’s news to you. Of course deadlines help with goal achievement. The trick, however, is in learning how to set deadlines for yourself, by yourself, when the only consequence is the freedom to change it again.

P.s. Now is the perfect time to reflect on your life’s direction. Going fast is the modern day default… going fast in the wrong direction, however, can end up being one of your life’s biggest regrets. Get your direction right with my guide, on sale now ➜

Missing The Point Of Meditation

Published on December 13, 2023

One of my goals for 2024 is to become as consistent with meditation as I am with writing.

When sharing this goal with some of my associates, two of them said they want to meditate and know the values of meditating, but “can’t.” That they “aren’t good” at it. That their mind is “too busy” and “chaotic.”

One even said he plans to start meditating after his business reaches certain goals so that he can do more “relaxing” things like meditate.

…This is a misunderstanding.

Meditation isn’t something you’re “good” at. It doesn’t require you to sit and have zero thoughts. It isn’t something you do only when you aren’t busy.

Meditation is the means towards mental clarity. It’s precisely the strategy you deploy to calm a busy / chaotic mind. There are no prerequisites and having a certain number of thoughts isn’t the measure of how “good” or “bad” you are at it.

It’s an opportunity to (finally) cease the constant influx of information. It’s an opportunity to allow the already overstimulated mind a chance to settle what’s there. And there’s nothing to be good at—it’s literally the act of doing nothing.

…It’s the antidote to the media driven, information crazed, busywork addicted modern society so many of us live in. Again, I repeat: it’s the antidote—not some type of reward or achievement that comes from a calmer lifestyle.

And to say you’ll start when things “calm down” is to miss the point entirely. Because you know when a great time is to calm down your mind, witness your thoughts, and become more present in your life? …Now.

While life is happening to you.

This is the point.

Why I’ve Never Tried Hard Drugs

Published on December 12, 2023

…I didn’t want to like them.

This was the logic I adopted from a pretty young age.

I knew that if I liked it—whatever the drug being discussed was—I’d want to do it again.

And again and again and again.

And I’m the type who has a pretty addictive personality so this trajectory I knew, wouldn’t play in my favor.

And this is a strategy that has, all-in-all, worked out very well for me.

Not only in regards to hard drugs, but in regards to an array of temptations that have crossed my path—sometimes on very accessible and shiny silver platters.

Never forget: the present you experience today is a result of the consideration you paid to your future self, in your past.

And if you can keep your future self prioritized as you would a spouse, family member, or close friend—then when that future you arrives, you just might come to meet a version of you that’s elevated, skilled, and impressive. A version of you that’s on an exciting trajectory. A version of you that you’re proud to meet.

P.s. It’s not too late to start paying consideration to your future self, today.

Follow Your Curiosity (Sometimes)

Published on December 11, 2023

Follow your curiosity is excellent advice. Except when that curiosity leads you down potentially wasteful and/or destructive paths.

I was thinking about this today as I reflected on why I was so damn sleepy.

This past Saturday, my curiosity piqued when I saw a social media video breaking down a Muy Thai fighter’s unique style and found out he was fighting that night. I followed the trail, found the fight, and ended up watching fights and fight videos until well into the night.

Then, on Sunday, I was watching football with my family. During the game, my curiosity piqued when I kept hearing about the upcoming “Must See” matchup between two great teams. So, after my hometown team’s game finished, I rushed home, took care of my final responsibilities for the evening, and stayed up, again, well into the night watching TV.

Now, did I learn something from these experiences—I guess. But, if I’m being honest, it was mostly wasteful. Earlier sleeps, more reading, and less passive entertainment would’ve been better.

Am I saying to completely ditch passive entertainment? I mean… I not not saying that… but, I will admit there can be a time and a place—for sure.

What I am saying though, is to weight the future costs of pursuing your present curiosities.

Is it going to lead to valuable skill building and useful insight or mostly wasted time and sleepy mornings? Because not all pursued curiosity is created equal. And if you can get better at picking and choosing which curiosities to entertain and prioritize… you just might find yourself picking and choosing between better/more upgraded life possibilities.

Own Your Future

Published on December 10, 2023

If you’re given an opportunity to perform/ create/ express… to show what you’re made of… to put your spirit on full display… and you choose to give it an average effort…?

…The future consequences of that… the regret/ the fewer opportunities/ the reduced impact… is on you—not anybody else.

Remember this: we’re wired to hold back. To stay comfortable. To take the easy path. To not risk failure or embarrassment. Which is why seeing people do the opposite—in any arena—is so captivating and inspiring.

And if captivate and inspire is something you aim to do…

…You have to choose to do that. To rewire your system. To rewrite your defaults. To reject the status quo and what’s grossly accepted as the norm. To give the opportunity presented to you your greatest effort… without hesitation, self-consciousness, or egotistical concern…

…And own the fact that the future… your greatest future… is always a series of choices that can be made only by you.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.