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Month: November 2023

Friend To Chosen Family

Published on November 2, 2023

How does the transition from friend to “part of my chosen family” happen?

Is it sudden or gradually?

I think a case could be made for both instances.

But, one thing I observed tonight at my friend’s dad’s celebration of life is that there are key moments where the transition is undoubtedly solidified.

Like when my friend’s employee made the extra effort to fly from Florida to New York just to be there.

Or when a young women I met, after having met my friend and his girlfriend at a restaurant they attended frequently as their waitress and who slowly became their friend, spent time alone in the hospital with my friend’s dad right before he passed—just to bust his chops (as she always did) and maybe lift his spirit.

Or even as I noticed the way my friend was talking to me throughout the night… in how it felt like his gratitude and conversational points were coming from a much deeper place than they normally would.

The point to reflect on is this: if you only ever meet people when it’s fun, light-hearted, and convenient… you’ll only ever get so close. But, if you meet people as a family member would… through the good times and the bad; when it’s sunny and when it’s rainy; when it’s convenient and when it’s not… it’s only a matter of time before family is how people start to perceive you.

P.s. Day 4: Took an extra few minutes to express just how beautifully done the celebration of life was for my friend’s dad.

Growth via Messing Around

Published on November 1, 2023

This morning, Facebook memories resurfaced an old video of me performing a bo (staff) combo in casual clothes after a casual training session that blew me away.

It was so creatively different than so much of what’s being performed in the martial arts school I teach at these days.

And what’s interesting about this clip is that even though it was 4 years ago, I distinctly remember this particular training session.

A couple martial arts students asked if I wanted to have a Sunday session, I agreed, we went to the school, blasted good music, and just messed around and fed off each other’s energy for several hours.

…We started by training what we knew.

…We continued by doing variations of what we knew—oftentimes either hating or hurting ourselves with the results (I’ve whacked my hands and head with my bo more times than you’ve probably ever touched a bo).

…We were oftentimes inspired by the variations done by our training comrades.

And we ended up with a few interesting ideas that we then chained back together with what we knew coming into the session… which left us with an upgraded skillset that prompted the above video and this share.

This is how growth works.

A willingness to try. A chunk of undisrupted time. And the ability to keep trying in spite of the hate and hurt.

…Bonus points, of course, if you have a good playlist and aligned company.

P.s. Day 3: I was able to personally thank a gentlemen who occasionally texts out an uplifting thought in the mornings to a group of aligned and opted-in friends.