Month: October 2023

Life’s Memory Thief

Published on October 24, 2023

Want to get some of your favorite life memories stolen?

…Give in to inertia.

Let the feeling of being stuck… keep you stuck… and withheld from experiencing the world in the way you originally planned… hoped to… dreamed you would…

Inertia is the ultimate memory thief.

It creeps up on you, slowly weighs you down, and sabotages plans.

Unless you stop it.

Or should I say… keep things moving to avoid coming to that crippling stop altogether.

Break inertia by taking that initial step as soon as you can… by sticking to your plan(s)… by giving yourself the kick in the ass you’d wish you’d gotten when you gave into inertia before and missed out on something grand that you wish you hadn’t.

And keep that momentum moving forward—however slowly—in the right direction…

…The direction of what could undoubtedly amount to be, your life’s favorite memories.

P.s. I also published: Letting Your Bow Relax—A Short Story About Not Being So Serious All Of The Time

Inconvenient and Unpleasant

Published on October 23, 2023

Remember from a few days ago when I said, if it can go wrong it will?

Well today I got a flat tire while driving.

I was 16 minutes away from home, 35 minutes from my mechanic, an hour out from changing it myself, and several hours out from getting the car towed/fixed/back on the road.

None of these were convenient options.

…When is getting a flat tire ever convenient though, eh?

Very fortunately for me, just as I was rolling up my sleeves to change it myself… I saw a car shop just down the road.

I slowly drove there and they very kindly got me patched up and back on the road within 30 minutes.

It couldn’t have been a more ideal situation for a thing gone wrong.

This is a rarity, though.

Usually, things only continue to complicate after the initial inconvenience. Which is why I’m suggesting, yet again, you meditate on solutions to things that could very possibly go wrong in your life. Some starter ideas:

Flat tire with no cell reception… do you know how to change it yourself?
Lost your phone and all the information on it… do you have a backup?
Your basement flooded… are really important items stored off the ground?
A pipe burst and water is spewing everywhere… do you know where the main shutoff is?
Somebody breaks into your home and steals the five most valuable things laying out in the open… do you have a safe?

While it might feel inconvenient or unpleasant to reflect on this now… imagine how much more inconvenient and unpleasant it’ll be when you have to figure it out after the fact.

Take Care Of Your Room(s)

Published on October 22, 2023

I’ve been trying this new strategy where, every Sunday, I set aside a few hours to deep clean/revamp one specific room.

This week it was my work room.

Not only did I declutter my desk, throw away a ton of crap, rearrange the furniture/decor, and give everything a good wipe down… but, I also bought and installed this clean, 5-tier floating corner bookshelf.

Why? Because I like the way it looks plus it’ll give me more room to organize the crap I don’t want to throw away.

And here’s the thing… liking the way things look and feel in your environment improves the way you feel and look at things while in it.

The degree to which this is true varies person to person. Some people seem to be strongly affected by the environment’s look and feel and some seem to carry on irrespective of it.

But, in my observation, seemingly unaffected doesn’t mean unaffected.

In my own life, I’ll occasionally recognize a psychological weight that’s being held by a task I’m leaving undone. One I keep putting off, that I know I’m putting off, that requires a little more time than I usually have, which is the excuse I always use, that results in this drag that, when I notice it, definitely affects the way I feel.

And then there are times when I walk into a room—like my work room after my work on it—and instantly notice a lightness… an excitement… a sense of relief… which, I know continues even after I’ve become used to the changes.

This is all to say: take care of your environment and your environment will take care of you.

If It Can Go Wrong—It Will

Published on October 21, 2023

Every now and again it’s useful to meditate on Murphy’s Law: anything that can go wrong will go wrong—as it pertains to various aspects of your life, and use what you see as fuel to better prepare for what’s to come.

Some examples:

Business / Work: If you lost your job tomorrow, what alternative paths could you follow? What kind of time will you have before running out of savings? What side hustles coud you turn full time?
Relationships: If your best friend(s) suddenly moved out of state, could you cope? Could you start connecting more with other people in your life? If your loved ones stopped showing you the love they once did—could you still find ways to show love to them and yourself?
Personal safety: If somebody attacked you on the street, what training/ tools will you have at your disposal? What if somebody broke into your home? What if somebody targeted a family member—what training/ tools will they have?

None of this is meant to scare you or jinx anything you have that’s going great in your life. It’s merely to say, it’s useful to be prepared.

Because if there’s anything I’ve learned over the course of my life, it’s that life has other plans.

…And many a time, it felt like it was going all wrong in comparison to the plans I made.

Shoving your head in the sand and hoping nothing goes wrong isn’t a good strategy.

Assuming things will go wrong, however, and coming up with a plan for if/when it does… is.

Inverting The Bullying Conversation (Part 2)

Published on October 20, 2023

Some excerpts from the Bullying presentation I gave last week (here’s Part 1 for context):

“Raise your hand if you believe we have ENOUGH problems in the world as it is. THAT is why I’m here. Because I couldn’t agree more. And we don’t need any more of them. Not here. Not anywhere. And all change anywhere has to start somewhere. And today? That’s here. How are we going to do that? By talking about how Martial Arts can help you become more BULLY PROOF and more LIFE READY.”

“What is Bullying? It’s when someone intentionally and repetitively tries to hurt and/or bring others down. What is the opposite? Buddying. Which is intentional and repetitive attempts to help and/or lift people up. Who likes having friends? Thought so. Here are four steps to follow to make more of them: (1) Smile (2) Say ‘Hi’ First (3) Ask Interesting Questions (4) Remember Their Answers & Repeat. Who has a best friend? Why is that person your best friend? Notice how nobody said: ‘Because they have the new Nikes’ or ‘Because they have the latest iPhone…’ —Remember this whenever anybody tries to make fun of you for externals. It’s internals that make real friendships.”

“Learning how to confront bullying situations is about more than the bully and more than the specific situation. Because you know who the biggest bully you’ll ever meet is? …Life. Confronting the bully in your life is an opportunity for you to flex your courage muscles… to flex your justice muscles… for you to get to a place where standing up and growth is the better option forward than standing down and allowing others to tear you down.”

Inverting The Bullying Conversation

Published on October 19, 2023

Last week, I spoke to a group of 90+ sixth graders about Bullying.

When I was originally asked to do this, in honor of National Bully Prevention Month, the task felt tall.

Most of the school talks I give are highly engaged martial arts + message classes for Kindergarden through fifth grade. But, showing pre-teens and teens how to *properly* kick, punch, and defend themselves felt like it would only lead to *more* confrontation rather than the opposite.

The two questions I kept asking myself over and over again were:

(1) How do I do this for 90+ sixth graders and *not* make them immediately want to fight each other and test their skills after I leave (i.e. How do I *not* be the D.A.R.E. guy)?

And (2) If I don’t teach any martial arts moves, what *can* I do to keep them engaged for a 45 minute presentation?

Here’s the thought process that lead to the presentation (which went quite well) that I felt was worth spreading beyond that one classroom and into the minds of all those who might be able to perpetuate it forward:

First of all, I believe fully that: telling people what not to do isn’t as effective as telling them what to do.
So, rather than follow a typical Anti-Bully seminar approach of (1) This is bullying (2) This is why it’s bad (3) Don’t bully… I inverted the Bullying conversation into:
(1) This is how you can build confidence and create more friendships (the antidote of bullying); (2) Here’s what you do when people try to tear you and others down; (3) Lead the way—the world needs it now more than ever.

The Biggest Lie In The Health/Fitness Industry

Published on October 18, 2023

The biggest lie in the health/fitness industry is: I can get your body if I do exactly what you do.

Here’s the thing: even if I eat exactly what you eat… not eat exactly when you don’t eat… exercise exactly as you exercise… sleep exactly as you sleep… step exactly as you step…

…I’ll still only ever have different versions of my body.

Which isn’t meant to be disheartening; it’s meant to be liberating.

This whole copy-paste attractive people routines in order to look like them is not only misleading… but wildly unmotivating. Why? Because we never arrive exactly to what we see.

Time and time again, we see posts that promise quick fixes, fast results, and hard work hacks with the unsaid promise being: and you’ll get to where I am.

But the reality is: that person is built differently. And so are you. And to follow these quick fix routines, hustle through fast tracks, and hack away over and over again only to end up right back where you started… said plainly: sucks.

The liberating part of this post is this: so stop feeding those ideas into your mind.

Purge your feeds. Delete the apps. Unfollow the copy-and-paste-to-become-me-fluencers.

And focus on you. Where you are. Where you’re heading. And how you can do a little better today than you did yesterday. Not in inches, pounds, or calories. But, in time invested, effort given, and days in a row.

See, a beautiful thing happens when you stop feeding your mind misleading ideas… you get to begin the truthful journey forward minus the yo-yo-ing. And that’s the journey that’ll carry you forward for life.