Month: October 2023

We’re All Gray

Published on October 31, 2023

We humans are incredibly multifaceted and complex beings.

Because of this, when looking at other human beings and in an attempt to make sense of them and their actions, we tend to oversimplify them as a whole and categorize them into neat, little boxes.

We say this person is “good” and that person is “bad.”

We say person A is “right” and person B is “wrong.”

We talk about people in “black-and-white” terms when the reality is… we’re all gray.

Just because someone doesn’t agree with you or can’t commit to an unwavering level of support or give back just as much or more than you give them… doesn’t mean they can’t add value to your life.

Sometimes it’s the ones who disagree with us who teach us the most about what we believe (because we have to better understand the argument from new perspectives)…

Sometimes it’s the people who aren’t committed or supportive who make for great conversationalists (because they aren’t scared to say something in disagreement with you)…

And it’s the people who maybe don’t give back as much as you give them who keep us humble, grounded, and reminded that transactional giving isn’t really giving at all.

Maybe if we stopped making hyper generalizations about people based on one narrow aspect of their personality, belief system, or character… we’d have a much better time building connections and spend much less of our time watching bridges burn along our way.

P.s. Day 2: Today, I made it a point to thank the 40+ people who showed up to the adult martial arts class I taught tonight. The energy and camaraderie was incredible.

The 30 Day Expressed Gratitude Challenge

Published on October 30, 2023

Join me in, not just thinking gratitude, but expressing gratitude every day for the next 30 days.

The difference is that one leaves your mind about as quickly as it enters whereas the other—the expressed gratitude—makes an impression on the mind of another (that’s remembered), creates an atmosphere that’s felt, has the potential to linger (as a smile often does), and can resultantly ripple outward to touch countless other lives, too.

And the kicker is that the gratitude given to another affects the giver as much as the receiver—it’s a double positive.

There is nothing lost and everything is gained when the gift of gratitude is given away.

That said, here’s how the challenge works:

Either share publicly (on a social site) or record privately your daily acts of gratitude.
It must be expressed—not just thought of.
Expressed could be shared verbally (e.g. “I just want to sincerely thank you for…”), written physically (e.g. A surprise post-it note), posted about socially (e.g. “Today, I’m grateful for ______. Join me for 30 days of expressed gratitude.”) , or even gifted tangibly (e.g. Flowers just because).
The more specific the better. The more detailed the better. The more thoughtful the better.
…But, “done” is the best. Don’t let “the perfect gesture” stop you from expressing at all.

And that’s it. Who’s in?! Forward this to whoever you think would join. Let’s flood our lives with positivity, warmth, and support for the next month. Lord knows we all could use it.

I’ll record my acts here. Day 1: Today, I texted a coworker expressing my gratitude for an above and beyond effort that they did with grace. :)

A Good Thing

Published on October 29, 2023

I had to take my car to the mechanic today for an inspection and to get new tires (because, you know, flat tire from last week).

Now, do I go to the mechanic who’s on my way to work who would be super convenient for my day’s schedule?

…Nope.

I go to a mechanic who’s exactly out of my way—20 minutes from my house and 15 minutes from my workplace.

Why?

…Because these mechanics speak in laymen’s terms; they make and keep promises; they’re thorough; they’re happy to see you; they do me favors and give me occasional discounts and upgrades… in short: they run a good business.

And I’m willing to go out of my way for them because of it.

It can be tempting in today’s world to try and automate, scale, outsource, shortcut, and hack your way to a good business.

But, the best way to build a good business is to build a good business. One that you’re well versed in; one where you can deliver real value; one where you don’t mind taking some extra time; one that gives you joy; and one where delighting the customers/clients is regularly a highlight of your day.

…As is the case with building anything good in life.

When you align your intentions in building a good thing, your actions in building a good thing, and your time in building a good thing… how could you not come out with just that… a good thing?

How To Get A 200%+ Return On Investment With Your Time

Published on October 28, 2023

I went to bed early last night.

About an hour earlier than usual.

And what never ceases to amaze me is how much more productive I feel, how much better my self-control is, and how much clearer my mindset presents—all from just a one hour investment.

Which is exactly what we should be looking at going to bed earlier as.

As discussed in yesterday’s piece, more awake hours ≠ more productivity / more joy / more living—per se. It’s more quality hours (not quantity) that leads to that.

And what I’m noticing in my own life, today particularly, is that the move from 7 hours of sleep to 8 hours causes more good in awareness, clarity, and productivity than the move from 8 hours of sleep to 7 hours causes good in extending length to “do more stuff.“

In other words, let’s say an hour less of sleep causes a 12.5% dip in general functionality across the board (if eight hours = 100% recharge, then one hour = 12.5% of that recharge).

That 12.5% dip then affects the rest of my 17 hours in the day that I’m awake.

And a 12.5% reduction (in awareness, clarity, and productivity) over 17 hours amounts to 2.125 hours in total lost time (17 x .125 = 2.125 hours)!

So, how do you get a 200%+ return on investment with your time…?

Go to bed an hour earlier.

P.s. I also published: A Wise Woman’s Advice To A Young Man Whose Life Was “Full Of Pain” [Excerpt]

Being Awake ≠ Feeling Alive

Published on October 27, 2023

One of my associates made a comment that if you wake up two hours earlier every day for 12 years, you’ll get back an entire year of your life.

And while on the surface this sounds great—it completely disregards the state of mind you’ll be in with two less hours of sleep every day for 12 years.

I mean, how many people in today’s world already aren’t getting enough sleep as is? I’d be willing to bet that more aren’t than are. Subtract two more hours from their already insufficient sleep totals and you have a recipe for complete misery.

This is not the direction our sleep conversations should be heading.

Enough already.

What we need to discuss aren’t ways we can subtract sleep to add mere quantity to our total lifespan… what we need to discuss are ways we can add sleep—to at least, you know, maybe hit bare minimums—so that we can add quality to our lifespan.

Being awake ≠ feeling alive.

Feeling alive comes from quality consciousness… from a quality awareness… from a quality presence. Not from barely conscious… highly caffeinated awareness… and a miserable state of presence.

…Which by the way, isn’t even to make mention of the fact that insufficient sleep will very likely shorten lifespan. And how unfortunate would it be if what was subtracted was more than the year you were trying to gain—in misery nonetheless—and it was all for nothing?

Don’t get it twisted; don’t be mislead by the hustle homies; don’t miss the forest for the trees…

Quality is the name of this game we call life.

The Formula Forward

Published on October 26, 2023

We align ourselves with what serves us first, so we can best serve those who we most align with second.

This is the formula forward.

Many people try to reverse this formula and align themselves with what best serves others first and then only serve themselves with whatever time/energy is left over and after the fact.

The reason this strategy doesn’t work (maybe less optimally… maybe not at all) is because serving others is an infinite and endless loop.

You could very well give every ounce of time and energy you have to the people closest to you and still be met with this black hole of insatiable needs and desires.

Not only is this incredibly exhausting and demoralizing… but debilitating.

We must remember: so long as we’re willing to give time and energy, so too will others be willing to take.

Think about it. Time and energy are our life’s most precious resources. And whenever another person gives us some of theirs, not only is it an invaluable investment but an affirmation of worth of ours.

And while this sounds like a wonderful gift to give to those closest to us, it completely disregards the person who’s closest…

Yourself.

If you aren’t willing to invest any of your most precious resources into yourself, how can you expect your ability to serve to grow? This is no different than an investment account.

No continued investments? No continued growth. Plain and simple.

And the time to invest isn’t after all of your money has been spent. It’s first and foremost—automatically preferably—so that your growth is guaranteed irrespective of the “market conditions” of those whom you’re most aligned to serve.

Cancel Them All

Published on October 25, 2023

A modern day savings trick in a world obsessed with subscriptions: cancel them all… and obsess over one at a time.

This is a trick I’ve been applying to my own life as of late.

Netflix, Disney +, Paramount +, HBO/Max, Showtime, Hulu, Peacock… each service makes you believe you’re missing out if you aren’t subscribed to them. And they do this by advertising the heck out of their blockbuster (oh, the irony) shows, creating irresistible offers, and making you feel like their service will give you access to the media that most of your friends will be talking about.

The reality is… it’s all media brainwashing.

You don’t need all of them all at once—it’s preposterous to even consider how many options that gives you access to when it actually comes time to sit down and pick something to watch.

No.

It’s time to take a new approach.

One that’s not only better for decision making, but for your wallet, too.

That’s right: cancel them all and obsess over one at a time.

And when you’re out of options on the one (if ever), cancel that service and switch to another. The beauty of the hyper competitive subscription space is that you can almost always cancel anytime with no fees and the other services will roll out the red carpet to get you back.

Wash; rinse; save; repeat.