Month: July 2023

Thinking and Being

Published on July 17, 2023

There’s a time and a place for thinking. And there’s a time and a place for being. All being and no thinking leads to rash decision making. And all thinking and no being leads to a sheltered, inexperienced life.

Times when we’re experiencing life are times when we should drop thinking altogether. Like when we’re: walking, running, swimming, playing, hiking, meditating, listening, dancing, drawing, painting, etc.

And times when we’re reflecting on life and planning ahead for the future are times when we should turn the thinking up. Like when we’re: reading, writing, conversing, planning, researching, developing, building, brainstorming, imagining, visualizing, etc.

It’s when we get either of the two confused that we stumble in life.

It’s when we start thinking about playing or meditating or dancing that it suddenly becomes awkward and unnatural. And it’s when we spend all of our time being and none of our time writing or planning or imagining that suddenly our mistakes repeat and our life trajectory worsens.

Like most things in life, it’s a balancing act. One that I don’t think we’ll ever get perfectly correct, but one that we can and should be more conscious of and aim more deliberately for.

P.s. This post was inspired by (and became the afterword for) The Story About The Centipede and The Frog.

Alone… Together

Published on July 16, 2023

I meditated with a group for the first time today.

We met at a local park, sat in the grass, did 15 minutes of quiet sitting, 15 minutes of quiet walking or continued sitting (most kept sitting), and finished with another 15 minutes of quiet sitting.

Then, after everybody came out of their practice, the group spent 15 minutes discussing a topic.

Before we began, I asked one gentlemen what brought him to the group and he said he had a hard time meditating alone.

Which struck me because what is a meditation group, but a group of people who are practicing being alone… together?

There’s that element of connection during the discussion portion, but for 45 minutes, it’s just you. And if being with you is hard for you, for any duration of time, it’s as good an indicator as any that inner work is needed.

I don’t say this from a place of judgment, but from a place of compassion.

Because of all the company you keep in your life, there should be no better company than the company you keep with yourself. And the more you improve the company you keep with yourself, ironically, the better the rest of the company you keep will become, too.

Some questions to reflect on: (1) Have you ever considered practicing being alone? (2) Have you ever considered practicing being alone, in a group? (3) What, if anything, is coming up that’s preventing you from starting a practice like this?

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

Overstimulating Pixels vs Uncomfortable Quietness

Published on July 15, 2023

Overstimulating pixels vs uncomfortable quietness is THE modern day dilemma.

So many of the negative symptoms people experience in our modern world have to do with this boiled down and plainly stated challenge.

And as is true with any negatively experienced symptoms or illnesses in life, we can’t work to fight what we can’t name or don’t understand. It’s only after we understand what it is we’re up against, that we can start to work strategically to fight back.

With the awareness of the challenge laid out in front of us, hopefully more people can move into that uncomfortable quietness and get, what I consider to be, a taste of the antidote to the overstimulating pixels.

…And see how, with regular doses, their lives may start feeling less agitated, insufficient, anxiety-inducing, depressing, lonely, nerve-wracking, etc.

So many of our modern day problems can be solved with this, almost too easy, ancient and yet timeless solution—quietness.

And as much as you might want to consume more and more pixilated videos and articles explaining to you how to reduce anxiety, stop overthinking, improve self-image, etc… consider the idea that it’s the pixels themselves that are at the root of the cause of the negative symptoms.

My prescription to you is this: practice making uncomfortable quietness, comfortable again—and watch as your life slowly starts to improve and feel better.

P.s. Thank you to Samantha who inspired this post. Your email reply was refreshing to read.

Turn Off or Turn Up?

Published on July 14, 2023

Sometimes I fantasize about living another life.

And sometimes I find myself fantasizing about being in that other life, fantasizing about being back in this one.

And part of me wonders if this is just the human condition: to constantly imagine and desire all the other possibilities in lieu of the incredible opportunities that have already come together to give us the life we have today.

And part of me wonders if this will always be a mental program running in the background: dreaming, fantasizing, scheming, desiring, wishing, wondering—and if it’s something worth turning off (and practicing more present gratitude) or turning up (and letting imagination run wild to paint a masterpiece that we can ambitiously reverse engineer our way to).

And part of me wonders if, like most things in life, it’s some kind of combination of the two…

Luck Stuck In Reverse [Poem]

Published on July 13, 2023

I remember you telling me
you met him
in a coffee shop

You went to get a drink
and thought it’d be nice
to see if he wanted one too

I simply can’t fathom
What luck like that
Must feel like

To be sitting; working
And be unintentionally chosen
By the rarest of butterflies

You tell me this
As we navigate broken rock
Near thundering falls

Where missing a step
Could mean broken bone
Or at least red cheeks

But I don’t miss
Not a beat; not a step
Not a single strain in thought

I’ve become numb
To this sort of pain
Luck stuck in reverse

I glance forward
You settle your wings
On a flower I’d never have seen

I glance back
Sun, river, flowers—this butterfly
Maybe luck is made?

Our path together ends
You float to bench nearby
And stop me from walking away

I smile; remember the coffee shop
And decide to say it anyway
Let’s do it again sometime

Knowing damn well
This butterfly
Is getting away

P.s. You can read the other poems I sometimes write here.

Preemptive Pockets

Published on July 12, 2023

Being surprised when something comes up is not a good strategy.

Better might be to expect surprises and set aside a designated time each day or week or whenever—when the things that inevitably come up can be addressed.

This works for work: Maybe you designate one hour each week for pop-up tasks and surprise assignments.
This works for relationships: Maybe you designate 30 minutes after dinner each night to touch base and address daily challenges, buds that need to be nipped, and important topics that could easily get swept under the busyness rug otherwise.
This works for chores: Maybe you designate one weekend each month to a different house maintenance category. (e.g. Week 1: Deep cleaning; Week 2: Fixes & Repairs; Week 3: Landscaping; Week 4: Other).

The difficulty with not having these preemptive pockets is that each surprise task that comes up becomes a stressor. Not just because of the additional problem(s) they present, but because of the strain on the schedule they represent, too. Now, you have to find more time when you already didn’t have enough time to do this thing when you already have too many other things to do…

But, if you have preemptive pockets of time set aside for the inevitable daily surprises, then the problems get mitigated almost as fast as they’re created or recognized. And suddenly, surprises won’t shake your day how they used to.

Eventually, your biggest surprises every week won’t be the annoying ones (because those are planned for and expected)—but will be the times if/when you enter your preemptive space and nothing needs to be addressed at all.

…And what a pleasant surprise that’ll be instead.

Increasing Luck

Published on July 11, 2023

This week, Mark Manson challenged his following to:

“Do something that increases the chances something good happens to you—this could be doing co-workers a favor, volunteering your time on the weekend, taking the time to meet other parents at your child’s school, whatever. Think of something you can do, then go do it.”

And it made me think about the times when I’ve gotten “lucky” and something good happened to me…

Times when strangers were turned into friends; times when running into friends turned them into good friends; times when I was a victim of a random act of kindness; times when I had a direction changing conversation; times when one thing led to a lover.

And it made me think about how none of those things ever happened while I was being passively entertained or otherwise choosing to withdraw from the world.

There’s a time and a place to withdraw from the world—undoubtedly. The introvert in me knows. But, it might not be the best strategy for increasing luck—depending on what that means to you.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.