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Month: May 2023

My Goal as a Martial Arts Instructor

Published on May 17, 2023

As a martial arts instructor, my top goal is to help students improve their martial arts.

…Duh, you might be thinking.

But, what most students want to do when they’re eager, self-conscious, and ego-driven (which is how most students start) is the opposite of what’s going to make them great at martial arts.

When you’re eager to learn, you want to go faster—but, your body isn’t properly coordinated yet to go faster. New students must do the opposite and go slow. Because as the saying goes: slow is smooth and smooth is fast.

When you’re self-conscious, you’re not training for you—you’re training with others in mind. You’re either trying to better fit in or better stand out. Because of this, your martial arts is secondary to social cues. It isn’t until you’ve properly integrated with the group and can focus more exclusively on yourself that you’ll begin to truly improve.

When you’re ego-driven, you do everything you can to look and do things that’ll get praised, admired, shouted-out. Which often translates to kicking higher, but with worse technique. Or striking faster, with more poorly coordinated strikes. Or training longer, when fatigue is increasingly affecting the correctness of the moves.

Which is why, as a martial arts instructor my strategy to accomplish the goal is usually threefold: (1) To get students to go slower, (2) To make students feel welcomed and comfortable in the group as quickly as possible, and (3) To disproportionately praise, admire, and shout-out character-based behaviors versus talent-based ones.

It’s important to remember, as leaders/teachers, that content isn’t the end-all, be-all. Delivery—how that content is packaged and sent—matters just as much.

One Step Closer

Published on May 16, 2023

Getting things done can often involve many steps, and in our busy lives, casually coming across a task (that has many steps) AND having the available time to do them all isn’t often.

Or, let’s be honest, we’re too tired or lazy to do them all at that moment in time.

This is where one step closer comes into play.

Rather than completing the whole chain of tasks, you do just one of the steps in the task so that it’s a little easier to fully complete (or get one step closer again) later.

Here’s an example I used just recently:

Picking out an outfit to wear, I noticed I had a bunch of clothes that I don’t wear anymore than needed to be donated. So, rather than take them to the donation center right then, I put them into a pile near my bedroom stairs. Then, on another day, I took them downstairs and placed them near my back door. Then, on another day, I put them into the trunk of my car. Then, on a day when I happened to be driving past a donation center, I spontaneously pulled over and donated them.

It isn’t often that I’ll casually get a multi-layered task done (unless it was in my plan to get it done), but I definitely get multi-layered tasks one step closer to getting done—casually (in an unplanned way)—every day.

And it’s in this small practice, done regularly, that the big—blog worthy—difference is made.

Appreciation Potential

Published on May 15, 2023

Hardship is a necessary ingredient for deep gratitude.

Without hardship, beautiful things get taken for granted and a sense of entitlement can develop.

With hardship, beautiful things are seen as gifts that could be lost at any moment and that sense of deep appreciation emerges.

The greater the hardship, the deeper the appreciation potential. For example:

  • The person who has always had running water doesn’t have the same appreciation potential as the person who hasn’t, who has spent most of their life thirsty, and who is suddenly given access.
  • The person who has always had many friends doesn’t have the same appreciation potential as the person who has always struggled to make friends and suddenly has a great one.
  • The person who has always had access to money doesn’t have the same appreciation potential as the person who grew up poor, with no alternative sources or connections, and is suddenly making a bunch of money on their own.

This is all to say, don’t curse your hardships—understand that your roots for appreciation are growing deeper with each passing day. And what’s really happening is you’re setting yourself up to be able to fully receive the blessings that come on the other side.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

Singular Lines and Snapshots Memories

Published on May 14, 2023

“He was a good man; he lived a good life.”

…Was said to me by a friend in regards to his father who reached the end of his life.

And I couldn’t help but think about how, after everything—after the millions of minutes lived and experienced in this lifetime—people will generally remember us in singular lines and snapshot memories.

Which is why before you’ve done everything you’ll ever be able to do (a sobering thought), you should consider what you would most like people to say and remember about you now… and live more often from that place so you don’t end up authoring something you later regret.

Inner work prompt: What do you hope people will say about you after you pass? Can you boil it down to one line?

Using Busy For Good

Published on May 13, 2023

If you have time to:

  • Complain, then you also have time to express gratitude.
  • Explore the internet, then you also have time to explore nature / reality.
  • Talk poorly about people behind their back(s), then you also have time to speak constructively about people to their face.
  • Stop at a fast food restaurant to buy junk food, then you also have time to stop at a restaurant that can make your food fast and buy healthier food.
  • Rack up hours of unintentional screen time daily (e.g. constant social media refreshing), then you also have time to rack up hours of intentional screen time daily (e.g. digital / audio books).

Don’t use busy as an excuse to make poor choices. Use the momentum that comes from busy to carry you forward from one good choice to the next with more ease. Learn to use busy as a facilitator that allows you to do more good with less effort—not the opposite.

Modeling The Way

Published on May 13, 2023

While I was sitting in my office the other day, a parent knocked at my door and asked if I had a minute to chat.

I replied, “Of course” and invited him in.

He took a seat, tilted up his hat, rubbed his head, and with a somewhat heavy face said, “My son is having a hard time finding motivation to come to Martial Arts class…”

Having had this conversation countless times before, I started downloading potential replies from my brain on the benefits of persevering, how discipline is built, habit formation, befriending momentum, being creative in approach, etc.

And just as I was finishing my thought process, he continued by saying something I can’t remember hearing another parent say (in this order) in all my 20+ years of teaching martial arts…

He said, “…So I think I’m gonna sign up myself.”

Somewhat dumbfounded, I sat there for an awkward minute, trashed the previously downloaded files and started writing fresh script in real time on how… damn impressive hearing that was.

What usually follows from the parent after that initial comment are excuses, justifications, additional challenges, membership questions, and/or requests to pause/cancel.

But, to hear a parent say: so I’m going to lead the way and show him how to persevere through my example… was incredibly refreshing and an example I think we all—not just his son—can learn from.

On Mowing The Lawn

Published on May 11, 2023

I wasn’t able to finish mowing my lawn… again.

While I was out traveling the past several weeks, and while everyone else in my neighborhood was getting in their first mow of the season after a long, cold, and arduous winter—my grass invited over all the neighbor’s weeds, had a party, and got its grow on.

And then, of course, when I committed to getting in my first mow, it rained and cut my mowing time short (pun definitely intended).

Now, my grass is two, and in some areas, three times the size of the mower itself and pushing the damn thing feels like I’m doing weighted sled sprints at the gym.

Part of me is cool with this and mentally adds a tally to the workout column for the day.

But, the other part of me sighs in frustration because I know that this is what happens when you procrastinate.

Getting the job done on a regular mowing day is no problem. Sometimes even therapeutic.

Waiting to get the job done past that ideal mowing day doesn’t just add to the challenge of the mowing… it multiplies the challenge.

And the same is true with so many of the things in life that we’d be much better off doing in regular, well-timed intervals rather than in a singular, herculean interval done once every when I feel like it.

A little bit done often, is oftentimes much more effective than a lotta bit done too late.