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Month: April 2023

Get Some Rest

Published on April 30, 2023

It’s amazing how seamless doom scrolling is for me when I’m tired.

I’m sitting here trying to catch up on work after a long weekend and it’s like… I can’t help but scratch every damn itch for distraction that peeps into my mind. It’s as if the self-discipline and focus has been drained right out of me. And auto-play videos? Forget it. It isn’t until the stupid things end that I realize they had my full and undivided attention the whole time they played. I was shook how long it took me to get out of that hole and finish the work I had at hand.

Don’t get it twisted: Being well rested is top tier productivity advice.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

More Important Than Winning

Published on April 29, 2023

What’s more important than winning?

  • Honor (cheating to win isn’t a win).
  • Learning (winning and not learning isn’t a win).
  • Respect (rubbing a win in somebody’s face isn’t a win).
  • Grace (If a win doesn’t make you more grateful, more humble, more giving, more kind, more elegant etc.—it isn’t a win).
  • Connection (none of us wins alone—every win is a team effort in some way. Winning without a deepened connection to those who helped us win, isn’t a win).

I have seen many competitors get 1st place who definitely did not win.

And I have seen many competitors get last place who, in every respect, most certainly won.

Be careful how you define winning and success in life—it’ll end up defining your identity and journey in life.

Sacrifices In Work

Published on April 28, 2023

I had the privilege of seeing Isabel Wilkerson (the first woman of African-American heritage to win the Pulitzer prize in journalism and Pulitzer prize winning author of The Warmth of Other Suns) speak at Kleinhans Music Hall in Buffalo, NY this past week.

At the end of her rousing speech, there was a live Q & A.

One answer she gave struck me in particular…

She was asked (paraphrased), “What sacrifices did you have to make in order to get this incredible body of work completed?”

Now, before I tell you her answer—some context:

  • It took her 15 years to write The Warmth of Other Suns (she joked that if her book was a child it would be in high school and dating by the time she finished).
  • She interviewed 1200+ people herself for the book (not a typo).
  • She somehow managed to boil down those 1200+ interviews into four stories that were featured in the narrative fiction that is The Warmth of Other Suns.

Okay, now that we’re on the same page, this was her answer (paraphrased):

“I feel like I didn’t make any sacrifices. I’m doing the work I was called here to do and that makes all of the time invested worth it.“

I suppose when you look at the creation of your work as analogous to birthing and raising a child (that makes it all the way to high school)—you really don’t see what you’re doing as a sacrifice. Your work takes on a life of its own that you bear the responsibility for raising.

…And maybe that’s an analogy we can start using in reference to our work as well.

Connection Initiative

Published on April 27, 2023

“I love being by myself, but then, I get lonely and don’t have anybody to listen to me.”

…Was sent to me as a reply on Twitter.

To which I spent some time thinking about… and replied back with this:

“A question that has helped me with this: ‘Where do people like me, who like doing the same kinds of things I like to do, hang out?’ And then I go there and let common ground take care of the rest.”

I have found this to be the best strategy for combating loneliness—deliberate, heart-guided, initiative.

Friends aren’t just going to come knocking at your door while you binge Netflix series or doom scroll. And work friends can sometimes come with layered complications.

But people who are doing the things you also love to do—just for the hell of it? …Opens up a door WIDE for connection.

…You just have to show up and walk through.

Inner work prompt: How might you respond to that reply? Send me a… reply :)

Little Big Things

Published on April 27, 2023

I see you…

  • Person who smiles when you could’ve chosen to frown.
  • Person who lets people in the lane when you could’ve chosen to cut them off.
  • Person who pays a compliment to a random stranger when you could’ve carried on and pretended like they didn’t exist.

You might not think you’re seen… but you are. Maybe nothing is said, no acknowledgment is paid, and maybe some things are done when none of us are looking… but have no mistake—goodness gets seen.

And while I (we) couldn’t say thanks in the moment for doing your part to improve our world—for whatever reason…

I’d (we’d) like to do so now.

Because it’s the people like you, doing the little things like that, who make big differences in the little lives of those living on this big planet.

Thank you.

P.s. If someone came to mind for you when you read this, forward it to or share it with them. There is no greater feeling than that of feeling seen.

The Gift of Receiving

Published on April 25, 2023

Giving is the easy part.

Giving means you have more than you need and you’re able to offer others some of what you have.

Of course, not everybody wants to give for the right reasons. Some want to give to manipulate—so others will be indebted to them and they can be owed.

But for many, this isn’t the case at all.

Many want to give simply because it makes them feel great inside; because it satisfies their nurturing nature; because they genuinely feel blessed, know what it’s like to suffer, and want others to suffer less.

Genuine giving is one of the most beautiful experiences on the planet for both the giver and receiver.

What most people don’t talk about, however, is the difficulty (and importance) of receiving.

For some, it’s because they’ve been manipulated through gifts and don’t want to be indebted to others—which is a terrible shame. For others, it’s because nurturing is in their nature and being a receiver of nurturing feels against their nature. And for others still, receiving conflicts with pride—it creates a sense of guilt because they weren’t able to acquire “enough” on their own.

But, without receiving there can be no giving.

And while it may seem like a prideful, honorable, noble thing to do—to reject gifts—it often can have the opposite effect. Once trust is established in the genuineness of the gifts (and it isn’t manipulative), receiving wholeheartedly becomes (what most people miss) a gift (and a damn beautiful one at that) in and of itself.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

The Checklist That Makes Me Feel Like I *Actually* Visited A Place

Published on April 24, 2023

Below is my highly refined checklist of what makes me feel like I actually visited a place when I travel to visit a place. Because as some of you may relate, there have been plenty of times when I visited a place, did some things, left, and felt like I didn’t really visit the place at all. The list below is my unique concoction of things that act as an antidote to that feeling.

In no particular order:

  • One local bookstore
  • One quaint coffee shop
  • One offbeat nature path
  • One unique-to-the-area attraction
  • One conversation with a stranger
  • One conversation with a local friend (if applicable)

…How about you? What makes you feel like you’ve actually visited a place when you visit a place? I’d love to hear in a reply.

P.s. This was my vacation reflection from Monday, April 24, 2023.