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Month: March 2023

The Comparison Sweet Spot

Published on March 17, 2023

First of all, I’m in camp: comparison is at the root of all unhappiness.

However, there is a comparison sweet spot that can be healthy and motivational.

The modern day dilemma is that most of the comparison that happens in our digital, ever-connected lives is with people who are in completely different leagues than us.

Why? Because it’s the best in the game—across all domains—who get the most view time on media platforms.

It’s the most fit athletes, the most attractive influencers, the most witty entertainers, the most successful business people, the most risky stunts people, etc. who capture and keep the most attention.

It only makes sense.

What we need to be conscious of is when it doesn’t make sense for us and our mental health.

And when it doesn’t make sense is when we’re aspiring to be more fit and we’re comparing ourselves to the million follower athlete. Or when we’re an aspiring side hustler and we’re comparing ourselves to the full-time, six-figure, media-empire-content-creator. Or when we’re an aspiring writer and we’re comparing ourselves to Stephen King.

See, nothing squashes motivation faster than putting yourself up against somebody who you know you don’t stand a chance against.

Where the motivation scales tip in our favor, however, is when we compare ourselves to people who are only a few steps ahead of us; people who we feel we have a chance against; people who, with a little more work, we might catch.

We don’t become a pro right out of the gate. We get really good at the amateur level and work our way up—slowly. The same should be strictly followed in our digital lives, too.

Lead With Your Heart

Published on March 16, 2023

Lead with your heart and utilize the power of your mind to figure out the rest.

Leading with your mind and trying to utilize the power of the heart doesn’t work out so well.

Why? Because the heart isn’t one to be utilized.

The heart is who you are; the mind is composed of all the tools that you could ever need to utilize and shape that identity.

Force your mind to build an identity that is in conflict with your heart and the heart will inevitably rebel. Many of us get pigeon-holed into this trap because our minds are so damn loud and constantly connected to the damn loud minds of others.

That is why we must quiet our mind; why we must turn down the noise of what’s “practical” “lucrative” and “respectable;” why we must return to stillness.

Because it’s only there… where we’re quiet and thinking as ourselves—not as others would have us think—that we’re able to truly hear what our heart has to say.

So that from there… we can begin to truly lead.

Too busy for self-care?

Published on March 15, 2023

Think again.

Here are 9 creative ways you can intertwine self-care into your routine:

No 20-minute meditation block?

  • Meditate while waiting.
  • Meditate while eating.
  • Meditate while commuting. Commit to no podcasts, music, or phone use of any kind. Just drive mindfully, focus on your breath, and notice all that’s filling your senses in the world around you.

No 40-minute reading block?

  • Try audiobooks instead. “Read” while driving, while doing chores, while exercising, etc.
  • Try the 5-page rule. Read no more and no less than 5 pages in the morning, afternoon, and at night… and inside any other pockets of time you can swing throughout the day.
  • Read from your phone. Instead of obsessively checking social media throughout the day, download a reading app that allows you to consume books as you would social media. I average ~2 hours of screen time per day… imagine if all of that was devoted to reading…

No 1-hour exercise block? 

  • Focus on getting 10k+ steps. Park further away everywhere you go. Do a lap around the office/ neighborhood a few times throughout the day. Take the family/ dog out on a longer than usual walk.
  • Exercise in pockets. Pick a bodyweight exercise and do 3-5 max-ish sets throughout the day. Push-ups every 3 hours. Lunges every 4 hours. Sit-ups whenever you enter or leave the house.
  • Do an abbreviated workout. You don’t need 1 hour to get an excellent workout. Do 2 exercises every minute on the minute for whatever time you have (e.g. 5 push-ups, 10 squats, done each minute for 10 minutes). Go for a 15 minute run around your block. Do as many burpees as you can in 5 minutes.

The Excuse That’s Needed

Published on March 14, 2023

Yesterday, my website broke.

And as anyone who has ever built websites knows… there’s a million things that could’ve caused it.

Fortunately, it was still functional, just all of my theme settings were seemingly erased or there was some major facelift that messed everything up.

Now for context, my previous settings were in place for several years. And, as the saying goes, it wasn’t broke… so I didn’t fix it.

But, once it did break… rather than wreak havoc on everybody and anybody who could’ve been involved or spend a handful of hours trying to troubleshoot the exact (sometimes ridiculously minor) issue… I simply looked at it as a signal for it being time…

…Time to take a fresh look. Time to upgrade from where it was several years ago. Time to question everything about the user experience and re-create new settings from scratch.

Because while the pain of having things break is that you have to fix them… sometimes that’s the excuse you needed (and didn’t know you were waiting for) anyway.

P.s. How To Stay Calm When Things Break – A Buddhist Teaching.

Non-Negotiable

Published on March 13, 2023

My best piece of advice for anyone living “all-in” in the digital world is to take frequent, deliberate, non-negotiable breaks away from all things digital.

P.s. Tweet this.

Inner Answers

Published on March 12, 2023

Deep within us there lies a guide who is exceptionally wise and who knows the answers to most (if not all) of the life challenges we’re currently facing.

But, most of us never consult this deep inner wisdom.

We bury ourselves with busywork, hide behind distractions, and absorb passive entertainment like it’s our job.

Before you go Google searching, impulse buying, or friend venting… try consulting the inner wisdom that’s already there… Deep within you… by closing your eyes… blocking out distractions… and asking your deepest self… the very questions you’ve been avoiding.

And remember, inward travel takes time—so be patient.

It’s also important to remember that the messages you’ll receive won’t come in the form of words, but in the form of symbols and feelings. Learn this language and interpret it intuitively (or get help from a book like this)—it was created by you after all. Herein lies the answers that you so deeply crave, yet so consciously avoid because of the implicit work.

This is where the life changing choice is made.

Keep running, hiding, and burying? Or veer onto the path less traveled and turn towards, confront, and face. Deep down, you know what you need to do. The only question is, will you listen?

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

Onion Identities

Published on March 11, 2023

We are complex, multi-layered creatures.

What everybody sees are the exposed outer layers of our onion identities.

What we feel are the deeply influential inner layers that are encoded in emotion and symbolism that take quality time to understand.

It’s only when we learn to decode the complex feelings and insights buried within that we can finally change the vibrancy and authenticity of our exposed outer layers.

Trying to upkeep the appearance of an impeccable shell with a rotting interior is futile work. What’s rotting on the inside will inevitably make its way to the outside.

It’s only once we understand that we function as an integrated whole… that we might finally commit to developing and improving our innermost—most influential—layers.

And we can begin the inner work that’ll change our daily mission from “shell upkeep” to “core cleaning” and what used to be a facade will slowly crumble and what’ll be left is a vibrant glow that was there all along.