Month: March 2023

Becoming More Connected To Life

Published on March 24, 2023

Most of what we do every day is work for others, digitally lurk in the background of other people’s lives, and consume other people’s content… all of which provides no meaningful two-way connection to either others or ourselves.

This is why so many of us feel so disconnected in the age of connection.

What brings us closer to people isn’t doing work for them, lurking, or consuming one directional content… what brings us closer to people is:

Meals spent together
Rich conversational exchange
Adventures embarked on together
Activities/ Hobbies enjoyed together
Long car rides/ walks in nature together
Chats at a coffee shop/ by fireside together
Projects/ art/ problem-solving done together
And so on…

And what brings us closer to ourselves is everything listed above… only by and for ourselves.

So, if you’re feeling disconnected and lonely, make it a goal to take the initiative on one of the above mentioned endeavors (for both others and for yourself) and continue to do so regularly.

Waiting for others to take the initiative only perpetuates that disconnected feeling and strips you of the control you have over your life situation.

I promise, if you can find ways to add even just one of the above-mentioned ideas into your days or weeks… you’ll slowly, slowly, start to feel more and more connected to this life.

P.s. The next book I’ll be uploading quotes from is Make Your Bed by Admiral William H. McRaven. If you’d like to read along… info, links, and such can be found here ➜

On Serving Others

Published on March 23, 2023

To the person who’s too busy serving others to serve themself,

Remember, the outer community you’re a part of isn’t the only community that needs to be served. There is an entire inner world of characters who require time, energy, and attention, too. And when those inner characters aren’t served… they start to act out, create conflict, and rebel. This can be felt in emotional uprisings, a nagging resistance, and a lurking uneasiness. If serving others makes you happy (which is how you’ve always justified the corresponding inner consequences) maybe seeing what’s happening within as its own community of characters will help? Not only will prioritizing your inner characters allow you to still serve others (e.g. your inner child) but it’ll allow you to enter a more emotionally light place, with less resistance, and with an ever-increasing feeling of ease. And how much happier (and better able to serve others in reality) might you be if you did that?

Sincerely,

Your Inner Work Person

P.s. I finished uploading quotes from Inner Work by Robert Johnson. This post was largely inspired by what I learned from that book. Check out my 40 favorite quotes here ➜

Inner Calibration

Published on March 22, 2023

Imagine you had a GPS system that slowly lost its calibration.

When freshly updated, it’s precise to the centimeter.

But, when left ignored too long, it starts deviating in miles.

This is how our inner GPS system works. It’s not a calibrate “once-and-done” kind of system. It’s more like your smart phone and needs frequent software updates to keep it precise and up-to-date.

Now, you don’t need to do every single update (I know I don’t). But, if you skip too many update opportunities… that’s when centimeters start turning into feet which start turning into meters with start turning into miles…

The difference between outdated phones and inner GPS systems is you won’t be able to notice an outdated inner compass as easily. The only way to check the inner calibration of your compass is to do careful and deliberate inner work. Which is, in many ways, counter-modern-culture.

If you can’t remember the last time you calibrated, it’s likely you’ve skewed off course—and possibly in a big way. How much can only ever be determined by you.

This isn’t to say that inner calibration is needed every day—but, it sure doesn’t hurt to do some calibration daily.

The bottom line to meditate on today is this: inner calibration needs to be a regular priority—are you making it one? …Because the destination of your life depends on it.

P.s. Need help calibrating your inner compass? The guide I recently created, The Art of Forward, can help.

Amor Fati

Published on March 21, 2023

Amor fati means “love of fate” or “love of one’s fate.”

My question for you is: Can you fall in love with your fate?

Not the fate that lies in the future, but the fate that has already revealed itself to you today; up until this point; in this moment.

And not just the fate that reveals present moments that are easy to enjoy, but also those that are misery-inducing and hard.

…Can you fall in love with that fate?

The thing about love is you can’t be selective with it because that isn’t how love works.

Love is unconditional. Love is kind. Love is overflowing, ever shining, and always trying to find its way into the darkness—it’s precisely what isn’t selective in who/what it radiates outward towards.

Because the thing about hating your fate is that it’ll lead to a ton of internal argument, inner resistance, and unnecessary suffering. Hating your fate is the person who:

Gets flipped off in traffic and spends the rest of the day pissed off.
Gets reprimanded and spends months holding a grudge.
Gets dumped and spends years self-demeaning and self-sabotaging.

This isn’t to say you shouldn’t have feelings—quite the opposite.

It’s to say meet each challenge with love rather than hate; embrace what arises rather than exasperate it; accept what’s out of your control (middle fingers, getting reprimanded/dumped, behavior of others, etc.) and focus on controlling what’s inside of it (e.g. how you respond).

Can you meet each present moment—your fate—with love rather than hate?

I suspect, those who can, will carve for themselves a life path that is night-and-day different from those who can’t (or choose not to).

The Path To Comfortable

Published on March 20, 2023

The more comfortable you can get with entering into uncomfortable physical challenges… The more comfortable your body will become.

The more comfortable you can get with entering into uncomfortable feelings/emotions… The more comfortable your mental health will become.

The more comfortable you can get with entering into uncomfortable conversations… The more comfortable your relationships will become.

The more comfortable you can get with entering into uncomfortable solitude/stillness… The more comfortable your spirit will become.

And the same is true with how comfortable you can get with entering into uncomfortable (appropriate) situations in general… The more comfortable your life will become.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

“Love Yourself”

Published on March 19, 2023

Saying to someone “love yourself” is about as helpful as saying to someone “become healthy.”

Like becoming healthy, self-love is a multi-faceted challenge that requires careful introspection, a profound determination or desire, and an extensive life-long commitment—it isn’t something that is just “fixed.”

Maybe, instead of telling people to arbitrarily love themselves, we can be an example for them or encourage them to do more of the things where the byproduct is self-love.

Things like exercise, healthy eating, meditating, reading, writing, therapy, joining supportive and uplifting communities, etc.

When I think back to the people who have inspired me the most in my life… I think of the ones who were modeling a way of life that I wanted to live… not merely talking about one.

So, before you go telling other people to love themselves… consider the idea that loving yourself fully might be the most impactful thing you might ever do for them anyhow.

Not to mention, of course, that the byproduct of this method is that you get to (re)focus your energy into loving yourself fully—which is the ultimate win in-and-of itself.

P.s. MoveMe Quotes got an update. I increased the font size/ readability, removed a bunch of unnecessary meta text, refreshed the look of the blog pages and articles, and more… enjoy :)

Nuggets From The People I Work With

Published on March 18, 2023

Tonight I gave a speech featuring the many things I have learned from the people I get to work with on a regular basis.

What follows isn’t that, but a brief list of nuggets or “isms” from that speech that I thought were worth sharing—even to the reader who has never met them. Enjoy :)

Kindness is always in fashion.
Adventures are the real currency in life.
Always have something to look forward to.
Try to keep a night saved for the girls… or the boys.
Any day that consists of “went to the gym” is a great day.
The real benefit of ‘more’ is that we get to give back more.
Taking things seriously is important—but so is taking things lightly.
Work just as hard when there’s 2 in the room as you would when there’s 40.
Sometimes the claps from one, true fan can ring louder than the standing ovation received from a thousand spectators.
The best way to start a conversation, no matter how hard, is to walk directly up to the person, sometimes cornering them, and dive right in.
Always bet on yourself—the path might not always be clear, but the inner resolve and grit that’s guided us safely before will do so again.
Being honest upfront and well in advance of what might require honesty—saves everybody (mostly ourselves) time and headache.
Taking pictures at each step of the way makes for an incredible look back at a journey you didn’t even realize you were exponentially changing on.
The time it takes to construct a funny, witty, random, outrageous, where-in-the-heck-did-that-come-from text or comment… is worth every minute of invested time.