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Month: June 2022

Applying The 4 Noble Truths (from Buddhism)

Published on June 9, 2022

The First Noble Truth: life is suffering.

  • Childhood trauma
  • Diseases/ illnesses/ disorders
  • Heartbreak/ back-stabbing/ hate

The reality of life that we have to accept is that there will always be suffering present in some way/ shape/ form.

The Second Noble Truth: we can identify the causes of our suffering.

When your heart is broken or you’re diagnosed with a disease or illness, identifying the source of your suffering is relatively straightforward.

When we’re children, however, we tend to bury or distract ourselves from the pain because we don’t know how to properly manage it. And this behavior often carries over into adulthood.

It isn’t always obvious from where our pain originates. But, with patience, grace and care—we can identify our pain’s root causes.

The Third Noble Truth: we can put an end to our suffering and healing is possible.

Healing is possible.

The key is to mindfully sort through what’s outside of our control (what happened in our past) and to act on what’s within our control (our choices today).

The Fourth Noble Truth: there are paths to free us from suffering.

These paths are different for each of us. But, many of them contain the following:

  • Meditation
  • Introspective writing
  • Reading for healing
  • Self-care skill building
  • Vulnerable, authentic conversation
  • Therapy

And just like healing is possible, so is perpetual suffering.

If we don’t accept the second noble truth, we won’t reach the third. And without the third, we won’t reach the fourth.

Take your journey towards healing at your own pace—but, keep moving forward on the path. Think tortoise—not hare.

And transform your suffering into a new, better reality—one deliberate, brave choice at a time.

Getting Ahead

Published on June 8, 2022

One of the greatest time and energy killers is in-the-moment self-negotiation.

  • I shouldn’t eat the donut. Buttt, I have been pretty good lately…
  • I should workout. Buttt, I do have a ton to do today…
  • I should read. Buttt, that new TV series though…

Those who plan their day ahead—get ahead.

Not necessarily because of what they plan (we all have a pretty good grasp on what we should be doing daily) but because of the fact that they planned and there will be less time/ energy wasted on figuring things out as they go.

As trivial as this might sound—even one good decision and a couple of minutes saved every day adds up! …I’ll take 365 minutes of my time back per year thank you very much.

Never leave your important decision making to the moment—it’s an awful time and energy sucking guide.

Do your figuring out ahead of time and focus all of your time/ energy on executing what’s ahead.

…And get ahead.

Breathing Space For Your Face

Published on June 7, 2022

We all wear masks.

…It isn’t a bad strategy.

  • We smile at strangers—even when we’re sad.
  • We cheer for good news—even when we’re envious.
  • We share life highlights—and play mum about our life low points.

It’s when we don’t take our masks off that the strategy turns bad.

  • If we never confront that sadness—we’ll multiply its effects.
  • If we never confront that envy—we’ll only perpetuate it forward.
  • If we never talk about our low points—we’ll only force the pain deeper through suppression.

We need to give our “face” space to breathe.

  • When we’re feeling sad, we need to have an outlet—mine is silent meditation.
  • When we’re feeling envious, we need to have an outlet—mine is introspective writing.
  • When we’re feeling overwhelmed by our lows, we need to have an outlet—mine is conversation with people I trust.

My question for you is: are you giving your face enough space to breathe?

Instant vs. Delayed Gratification

Published on June 7, 2022

Instant gratification is choosing pleasure now.

Delayed gratification is resisting pleasure now for (or in hope of) a more rewarding pleasure later.

The kind of pleasure we feel with instant gratification is not the same kind of pleasure that we feel with delayed gratification.

One is a superficial, fleeting feeling of pleasure—the other is a deep, lingering feeling of pleasure. Some examples:

  • Eating ice cream now will give you pleasure while you’re eating. Resisting the ice cream now gives you the pleasure of feeling healthy for much longer thereafter.
  • Sitting on the couch now will give you pleasure while you’re sitting. Resisting the couch to partake in a workout gives you the pleasure of feeling strong for much longer thereafter.
  • Buying the luxury item now gives you the pleasure while it’s admired. Resisting the luxury item purchase to invest your money gives you the longer-term pleasure of financial security.

That said, it would follow that we should delay gratification as much as possible in our lives.

And I would agree.

The more we delay gratification, the more of that deep, lingering feeling of pleasure—what I consider joy—we’ll have. However, the conversation doesn’t stop there.

I also don’t think we should always delay gratification.

If happiness is a recipe, and instant gratification are the sweet ingredients and delayed gratification are the bitter ones, we need to masterfully combine the two for healthy AND delicious meals.

Too much sweet and we’ll be eating pixie sticks all day (and feel awful).

Too much bitter and we’ll be eating spinach all day (and become bored).

We need to learn how to masterfully combine both for healthy, great-tasting meals.

Paid In Full [Poem]

Published on June 5, 2022 
What we pay for in attention
We purchase in identity

What we consume by choice
We create from inevitably

The person we see today
Is a byproduct of yesterday

And who we'll be tomorrow
Is paid in full each day—invariably

Welcome!

Published on June 5, 2022

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Content vs. Complacent (Round 2)

Published on June 5, 2022

Complacency is given.

Content is earned.

Complacency is sitting on the couch.

Content is sitting on the couch after a workout.

Complacency is eating crappy foods.

Content is eating crappy foods on your cheat day after an entire week of clean eating.

Complacency is binging watching TV.

Content is binge watching TV after a week of reading, writing, meditating, and contributing.

Complacency is what happens when we follow our lazy inclinations and accept regression.

Content is what happens when we follow our curiosities and challenge ourselves to grow.

Both complacency and contentment represent a sort of acceptance.

The major difference, that’s imperative to understand, is the trajectory of where you’re heading from that state of acceptance.

The trajectory of complacency is an increasingly downward slope towards atrophy, dullness, and discontentment.

And the trajectory of contentment is an increasingly upward slope towards strength, sharpness, and joy.

Don’t get it twisted.

Click here to read Content vs. Complacent (Round 1)