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Month: June 2022

Too Cool For School

Today, I had the privilege of presenting a martial arts driven character development class to nine groups of Kindergarden through 8th graders.

It was highly rewarding and the message I was able to share felt well received.

When the 8th graders (13-15 years old) arrived for their session, however, the apprehension and self-consciousness was thick in the air.

Just about all of the kids were more concerned with what each of the other kids thought and wouldn’t so much as stand up without a strong enough prompt.

They had other things on their mind—boys, girls, being funny, being liked, being noticed, looking cool, looking rebellious, looking like a part of the group, etc.

And so I offered them a simple invitation: I’m here to show you how martial arts can add value to your lives. If you want to learn how, step forward. If you’d rather not, step back.

And I wish I could say they all stepped forward—but, they didn’t.

Only a group of about 6 (out of 30ish) did.

And so I focused all of my attention on those six. I even huddled them tight after the session and gave them more than I planned on giving—as a thank you.

It’s so easy to feel like we’re up against the majority in our lives—and often we are. And it can be tempting to just slide back and blend into mix of the group—certainly nobody would blame you.

But, to step forward in confidence? In spite of the group decision? At risk of social consequence?

This… my friends… is where leadership is born and how any noteworthy change—is made.

The Direction Of Doubt

Doubt comes with the territory of doing something new.

Don’t ignore the doubt.

Don’t vilify the doubt.

Don’t run from the doubt.

Welcome it. Lean into it. Inspect it.

What you might find is that doubt is actually a signal that you’re heading in the right direction.

Follow The Pain

Confidence comes from the pain.

  • The pain of trial
  • The pain of error
  • The pain of persistence

Until eventually, the pain results in a success.

This success shouldn’t mark an end (to pain), but rather a new beginning.

For hiding from pain is the path towards atrophy—the antithesis of success.

Confronting the pain is the path towards hypertrophy—the best friend of success.

And as it is with exercise, working your muscles to hypertrophy once (one success) will have little long-term benefit.

It’s the repeated exposure to the pain (of exercise) that leads to the noteworthy gains in muscular size and ability.

And if you want to increase the “size” and “ability” of your life, you have to treat your confidence “muscles” the same.

…And follow the pain.

No Weakness

We don’t succeed because we have no weaknesses.

We succeed because we fully utilize our few strengths.

Trying to eliminate all weakness is a waste of time when you could be using all of that time to massively improve upon your strengths.

Hold Less; Have More

The brain is for having ideas—not holding ideas.

Find an app or a paper to do the holding.

And allow your brain to keep firing.