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Month: March 2022

When Authenticity Is Hard And When It’s Easy

Published on March 17, 2022

Authenticity is about congruence between our deeper values and beliefs (i.e., a “true self”) and our actions.

via Chris Do, Twitter

Being authentic is hard when:

  • We let other people dictate our actions.
  • We let media consume all of our downtime.
  • We let our ego control the thought processes of our minds.

Because we live in a world that is constantly pushing its influence on us from every angle, it can be hard to figure out what it is that we actually think.

And without that clarity of thought, of course our actions are going to be misaligned.

Being authentic is easier when:

  • We reflect deeply on and identify our values and beliefs.
  • We make space to process, organize, and remix the information we consume.
  • We control our ego and use it mindfully to serve us (rather than the other way around).

Until we choose to put up boundaries to block outside influences, we will continue to get pushed around and act in ways that are misaligned, unnatural, and confusing even to ourselves.

Boundaries to the outside world are precisely what’s needed to process, organize, and remix. It’s precisely how we settle our mudded minds. It’s precisely how we quiet the ego so we can hear the whisper of our Self.

In short: being authentic is hard when you let the world tell you who you are. Being authentic is easier when you listen to your Self, decide who you want to be, and tell the world who you are.

And while the latter can challenging in its own respect, it will always be exponentially easier than living an inauthentic life.

Personal Growth > Vanity Growth

Published on March 16, 2022

In today’s media driven world, there’s a ton of pressure to grow personal media accounts.

Which isn’t surprising because if what everybody is talking about is their favorite influencers, viral content, and follower counts—then, of course that’s what’s going to be at the top of everybody’s minds.

But, never let vanity growth take priority over interpersonal growth.

Like, when you feel obligated to consume all of your favorite creators new content, to post x new items to your socials, and to get that big project done for more revenue—but haven’t done anything for yourself…

…That’s a problem.

Maybe not immediately because maybe you can pull it off.

But, long-term? It will be. Because an absence of personal growth indicates a presence of personal atrophy.

And personal atrophy can only be hidden behind creative marketing for so long.

Eventually, people see through the shiny packaging and absorb the raw content for what it is.

And if what it is is regressing, then it won’t be long before they move to a different place where there is growth.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to influence more people or make more money.

There is something wrong with prioritizing those things at the expense of your interpersonal needs.

And not just because, you know, mental health, but because interpersonal growth IS the means to any worthwhile/ meaningful vanity growth.

So, remember, when you only have time to do one or the other, doing something for yourself should always get the priority.

Even when vanity growth seems to be the only thing everybody else is concerned about.

**Especially when.

Honest Living

Published on March 15, 2022
  • To believe in compassion, but to live with indifference—is dishonest.
  • To believe in wisdom, but to regurgitate ignorance—is dishonest.
  • To believe in connection, but to choose isolation—is dishonest.
  • To believe in health, but to purchase sickness—is dishonest.
  • To believe in calm, but to succumb to haste—is dishonest.
  • To believe in truth, but to speak in lies—is dishonest.
  • To believe in love, but to act in hate—is dishonest.

The more of these inner contradictions that you behold (whether you consciously realize them or not), the more uneasy and conflicted you will feel towards yourself. And the more in alignment your beliefs and actions are, the more at ease and at peace you will feel.

Honest living happens when what you do aligns with what you believe.

And the byproduct of honest living is inner peace.

Exercising Your Advice

Published on March 14, 2022

You can only help in so far as you are strong.

Those who never build their own strength remain weak—and their ability to help others remains weak, too.

Imagine a person who has never lifted a weight running around a gym, giving people 20 minute lectures on how to lift weights.

Now imagine a jacked person who is usually quietly focused in the corner walking over to you and offering you a quick, 20 second correction on your form.

Which would you prefer—the 20 minutes or the 20 seconds?

Of course you’d prefer the 20 seconds.

Because the advice is coming from a place of strength.

And in order to build that strength, what did the jacked person have to do?

Avoid running around the gym giving people 20 minute lectures on how to lift weights and focus on him/herself!

This is the oxymoron of helping others. You can only help others better when you become better. And the only way to become better is to focus on yourself—and occasionally ignore the never-ending call to help others.

Don’t run around offering help to people if you haven’t spent time helping yourself.

Quietly stay focused in your corner until you’ve reached your point of being full.

Then, pour from your full cup the full strength of your advice.

Sculpting Legacies

Published on March 13, 2022

The problems of our lives are the very material with which we get to sculpt our legacies.

The harder the problems, the harder the material.

And the harder the material, the longer our legacies have the potential to last.

When you only have to face “soft” problems and you don’t put much effort into shaping them—your life legacy is a wad of Play-Doh.

At the other end of the spectrum, if you opt to face “harder” problems and you work hard to shape them into something remarkable—your life legacy results in something more along the lines of a chiseled statue from marble.

Worth noting: this is not a call to make life as “hard” as possible.

Because without the proper tools, a huge block of marble is unsculptable—and that’s not a legacy worth aiming for either.

The goal is to stop complaining about the material we’ve been given and to start finding ways we can sculpt what we have into something we’re proud of.

Unfortunately, we can’t always change the material we’ve been given: life is wildly unfair in that sense.

Fortunately (especially if you’re reading this), we do have the ability to upgrade our tools and materials to make even harder, more exquisitely detailed sculptures.

Wisdom is the ultimate means for upgrading those tools and materials.

And your life’s legacy is worth an investment into the finest.

The “Right” Places

Published on March 12, 2022

The answers to your problems are out there.

  • Your health problems
  • Your happiness problems
  • Your money problems

You just haven’t looked in the right places.

Looking in the same places and expecting different answers is the strategy of the insane.

One I certainly would not recommend.

Here’s what I’ve learned: looking in the “right” places looks a lot like learning.

  • Opening new books
  • Listening to new thinkers
  • Experimenting with new ideas

Most people open up the same apps, talk with the same people, and buy into the same strategies (that are merely packaged differently) over and over again and expect things to suddenly start going “right.”

The reality is, if what you’re investing your time/ energy/ and attention into isn’t leading you to grow: how can you outgrow your current set of problems?

For what is solving the problems of our lives, but the act of growing?

Be It Then Become It

Published on March 11, 2022

You don’t start acting like a black belt when you get a black belt.

It’s only after you’ve acted like a black belt long enough that you finally receive one.

The same is true for any other identity you want to embody in life.

You become it by acting like it long enough.

The “becoming” doesn’t happen first.